A Christmas Tradition: Dawn Davenport's X-Mas Meltdown

[frigilux]

We all have our seasonal traditions: Albums such as Bing Crosby's White Christmas or The Ray Conniff Singers; Movies/shows like A Christmas Story; Charlie Brown's Christmas; The Grinch Who Stole Christmas; A Christmas Carol.

And it just wouldn't be Christmas here at AW without this gem, from director John Waters and his go-to leading 'lady', Divine.

Yes, it's Dawn Davenport's Christmas morning meltdown.

If you're a 'Davenport Christmas' virgin, grab a cup of hot cocoa and settle in for the most AWESOME Christmas-related video in existence.

 

[toggleswitch2]

ROFLMAO

Sing it Girls!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Syphillis, ever time I go........

OPA!

 

[dirtybuck]

I Love It!

This sooo reminds me of a Xmas incident that happened to me 5 years ago. I was in dire need of a new printer, and had my made up my mind that the one I wanted (and still have) was a Epson C86. Two people I knew had the same printer and the reviews I read were extremely good. I asked my sister to help me get this printer. Every time I called her, I kept on mentioning the name and model number.

Well, on the day before Xmas I received a package from Englewood, CO that looked big enough to be a printer. However, when I opened the package on Xmas day, imagine my "shock and horror" to find out it WAS NOT the Epson I had so clearly stated I wanted, but some damn HP (back then, my brother-in-law worked for HP, and even though they bought the thing at Costco, HP was the only computer products they ever had). If I had been there in person, I would have done the same thing Dawn did. My sister called me later that day, and I faked joyful enthusiasm over the gift.

In doing some research (driving around town, as Springfield doesn't have a Costco) the next day, I found that the same printer was available at Sam's Club. I took it there and got a Walmart and Sam's Club shopper's card, and with some money I had received from a few friends for Xmas, went to Office Depot and got the Epson.

A few days later I talked to my sister again and she asked me how I liked the printer. This time, my enthusiasm was not so joyful, and I told her "it's OK". From just that alone, she then knew that I had taken the HP back and proceeded to chew me out up one way and down the other, stating that the printer had been one of the more expensive Xmas gifts she had bought for everyone, and that I was nothing more than an "ungrateful turd".

From that year on, she still brings it up from time to time, but when I request an electronic item, she sends me a gift card instead.

 

[panthera]

Lawd, yes.

My red-nex relations give me books on "Pray the Gay Away". They never help my mom cook and bake, they never help clean up and they bitch, piss and moan because nobody is permitted to watch TV during Christmas Dinner.

Five minutes after my parents distribute the family cash cards, they're gone.

I've got Female Troubles somewhere or other, I think I'll put it on the main screen this Christmas.

Cha-Cha heels, indeed. Goodness, Divine was good!

 

[whirlcool]

That could be my crazy sister in Chicago in that movie.

Each year my sister sends out a list of "suggested" items that have been "approved" by her for Christmas. Each year these things are getting more and more expensive. One year it was an Iphone for her daughter (She'll be socially crippled if she doesn't have one) BTW, her daughter is 23 and has a well paying job. So that year I bought her an HP laser printer. Didn't hear a word of thanks, never heard if it worked or not, etc. In April asked my sister if her daughter received the printer and is using it, and she said "It wasn't on the list, I think we put it away in the closet for a future garage sale". And besides, I never taught my kid to send thank you cards. You are only making the card companies rich and nobody sends those anymore. It's too old fashioned.

To my sister, money comes before all else. I tried getting her a gift certificate, but she goes to the store and cashes them in for the cash and then "forgets" what she did with the money. "I think we went to a fast food restaurant with it" (on a $200.00 gift certificate?)

So one year I got her back. I bought her a $100.00 gift certificate to Neiman Marcus, a store she likes very much. She called me a few days later bitching and moaning about it. It seems that NM doesn't give you cash back, they just deduct your purchase from the total amount and leaves you with a balance on the gift card. He, he, he. She went to the customer service desk to get her cash and they told her she needs to spend them money in the store. So she went to the candy counter and bought some candy for $4.00 or something like that expecting them to give her cash back. Ha! They just marked $4.00 off the gift certificate and handed it back to her. She was sooooo pissed!

But the pièce de résistance was two years ago. I played a wonderful trick on her. I bought her a CD. But I opened it, put in a check for $200.00 and took it to a friends video store and reshrunk wrapped it. Then we sent it to her and waited. When she received it, my sister bitched and moaned.
"That's not what I wanted, it wasn't on the list", etc. But in March I asked her if she listened to the CD. She said she didn't because she didn't like it. I told her to listen to it and you may find you like it very much.
We waited about two months. The check never cleared, we asked her about it again months later. She "claimed" to have listened to the CD. She said she had. Hmmm I thought. SO I waited until October of the following year and asked her one last time if she listened to it. She said she had, and it was torture to listen to.
It was at this time I told her about what we did. She just went ballistic. I told her to stop lying to me about the cd and that I know for a fact she never listened to the CD and never even opened the case. What did she do? She wanted me to mail her a replacement check! I told her that her check is in the CD case and if she opens it she will have her check. She said she first gave the CD to a friend, but then later on changed her story to say that she turned it into a used record store, unopened. I thought that this is just perfect. And to this day the check has never been cashed!

Needless to say, in September Karen told her not to send us her "approved" list to us this year as we will not be exchanging gifts and to just think how much money she'll save by not having to deal with us. My sister BTW usually sends inexpensive gifts anyway.

I just think that my sister is a money obsessed, cold hearted selfish bitch that doesn't care about anyone but herself.

Many of you may have remembered our Christmas 2007 visit to her home and all the strange behavior we encountered then!

 

[danemodsandy]

Allen:

There's one of those in every family, and they generally ruin the holiday to a greater or lesser extent for everyone in it. What I don't understand is why the good people in families don't band together and fight back, letting the person know that the behaviour will not be tolerated. One of these in my family has succeeded in bringing the large family gatherings of yore to a screeching halt; nobody wants to be around her, and nobody wants to deal with the wrath holding an alternate celebration would generate. So, everyone just stopped entertaining at the holidays, except for one aunt who has more cojones than Chuck Norris. Good for her.

It's sad, and it makes you wonder why anyone has a need to be so witchy-with-a-"B" at a time of year designed for good times.

 

[lordkenmore]

" never taught my kid to send thank you cards. You are only making the card companies rich and nobody sends those anymore. It's too old fashioned."

Actually, the old fashioned solution is to write a letter or note. On a piece of paper. Ideally, with a nice fountain pen...but I guess maybe that's getting too far out of it.

Etiquette writer Miss Manners said, at least once, that the correct way to use a pre-printed Thank You card is over her dead body.

This aside, it's a sad comment about our world today that showing thanks for a gift is considered unncessary or old fashioned.