Answering machine messages....

[yogitunes]

I thought it would be fun for you guys to tell what kind of message you have on your answering machines....

is it the mecanical one that came with it, did you do it yourself, is it plain, comical, maybe music in the background, a funny voice, a cartoon character?

sometimes I do "ROCKY&BULLWINKLE"

other times mine says-in a southern accent--Hi!....Martin can't come to the phone right now......He's been swept away by a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TORNADO!....but if you leave your name and number at the end, I'm sure he'll call you as soon as he lands......LOOK MARTHA,LOOK!...look at that boy fly.....wait for the beep..........(BEEP)

do you know how many people re-peat call just to hear it?

 

[dirtybuck]

Plain and simple here ("Hi, this is Bill. Leave name number and message. Thanks.").

Used to do the background music thing, but people got tired of hearing it after a while.

 

[xraytech]

at home our message is a plain recording, on my cell phone it is the pre recorded one stating the number dialed.

My one friend has a great message, he had a girl record the following:
Hello, this is Kevin's personal secretary. he is unable to answer the phone right now, so please leave your name and a brief message and I will be sure he gets back to you as soon as possible. Have a nice day.

 

[soberleaf]

ring... ring... ring... ring... ring...ring

i got rid of mine, the phone just rings and rings and even when i'm home a lot of the time i just unplug it and let it ring and ring!!!!! on rare occasions i actually will answer it. i only go to the mailbox once a month too! the mailman loves me i'm sure. oh well............................

 

[tomturbomatic]

I'm sorry. This number is washing.

For years, my WCI-58 answered the phone with a few seconds of agitation and then the shift into spin with the wonderful sounds of the water being thrown. The message ended just as the acceleration plateaued at 1140. People called when I was at work just to listen, even people who did not know me but who had been told about the recording.

Now that I have caller ID, I rarely answer the phone and don't use an answering machine because of annoying automated calls.

 

[mattywashboy]

Hi there! You've reached Matt, sorry i can't make it to the phone at the moment, just leave a message and if i won't know ur voice, a number too! Have a great day :-D

I couldnt sound any more 'camp' if i tried

Matt

 

[revvinkevin]

"Hello.... blah blah blah Kevin, blah blah blah, blah blah blah message blah tone. (beeeeep)

 

[foraloysius]

Here are some funny ones:

http://www.joke-archives.com/toplists/ansmach.html

 

[whirlcool]

Now that I have caller ID, I rarely answer the phone and don't use an answering machine because of annoying automated calls.

And friends who leave long winded messages for us to listen to. Our answering machine will stay on as long as the caller is talking. One friend of ours left a 15 minute long message, and when we called her back she said "Didn't you listen to my message?" Uh, no!
We just look at the caller ID log and call back.

And another thing about my cell phone, you have to dial numbers and then enter two 6 digit codes before you get your messages. Too much work for me....

 

[turquoisedude]

It's pretty tame now...

I just say "You have reached 555-1234. Leave a message after the tone if you would like your call returned". It's a far cry from what I did to discourage a stalker a good number of years ago - I put the entire 'Radio Quiz Game' sketch from a Monty Python album on it. People got REAL pissed at having to wait 2 minutes to leave a message but the stalker gave up on me after that!

 

[danemodsandy]

I Just Do...

...The basic "leave your name and number" thing now, but I used to have an outgoing message that was kind of fun:

It was also a basic message, but after it said "here is the tone," I used the Twentieth Century-Fox fanfare with the CinemaScope flourish, like you hear at the beginning of a Fox movie like Star Wars. That was some tone!

I also detest long messages. For a while, one of my friends was leaving such long-winded ones that I temporarily replaced my message with one saying, "Please leave only your name and number - we'll have our conversation when I call you back."

 

[bpetersxx]

This is the washer king I am in the washer room N N beep

 

[maytagbear]

My answering machine

is truly dead, beyond reviving, but since it's a 1980s Panasonic with the microcassettes, I think it's an honourable demise.

Mine is fairly standard: "Sorry I can't get to the phone, please leave your name, number, and a good time to call back. And I will, if I feel like it. Peace!"

At least I'm upfront about it. My cell message is similar.

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[gadgetgary]

Loved this from a friend who just moved....

Hi, this is XXX, I just moved and can't find the phone so please leave me a message.

 

[travlincub321]

When i had my house phone i had alanis morrisette in one of her more bitchy songs on there and me saying Leave a F****** message...
My cell phone is automatied, but will be changed to say that i dont check my messages, so dont leave one... Cause its too much to check it

 

[djmjlcst]

This one used to be mine at work.....

"Hello you reached Mike's office. He's not here right now - he could be out taking care of some emergency on campus, or swimming in the pool, but you're talking to me. If you want to leave a message please wait for that sound that's worse than my microwave oven at home. If you care not to leave a message after that sound that's worse than my microwave oven at home I certainly don't blame you, in that case try again later and maybe you'll reach me - if possible." I had that for over a year and I was asked to change it - go figure! Mike L.

 

[joeekaitis]

(emulating speech synthesis)

The number you have reached 9 0 9 8 7 5 x x x x

(switching to conversational tone)

is, uh, working just fine so leave your name and phone number after the beep.

(turning away from the mic)

I'm gonna get something to eat, OK?

(beep tone)

 

[58limited]

Just a plain message for me, but sometimes I actually answer the phone and say something like this: "Hello, I'm unable to take your call right now. Please leave your name and number at the sound of the click." Then I hang up.

Or, I answer as if I was the one making the call. "Hi, I want to order a pizza for delivery."