cats and dogs

[gizmo]

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

 

[dascot]

I adore Eddie Izzard generally, but one of my favourite sketches is the Pavlov's cat one. This isn't the best video clip, but still...

 

[whirlcool]

Or as my neigbor, who is a devoted "cat person" old me when I asked her why she throws her 4 cats outside at night to let them roam the neighborhood:

"Well, you are just a stupid dog person. Don't you know that you have to let cats out so that they can blow in the wind to spread their magical powers all over the subdivision? Any smart cat owner knows that! "

A few years ago he husband had enough with her and her cats. He said it was either him or her cats. The next morning she threw all his clothes out the front door!

 

[maytagbear]

In all my days!

I have never, ever let my cats out. They only go outside in their carrier.

You're exposing them to fleas, ticks, raccoons,(notorious cat killers!) dogs, cars....

That "cat lover" is irresponsible to turn them out overnight!

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[frigilux]

I'm a huge fan of Eddie Izzard. He's amazing. His show 'Dressed To Kill' is completely brilliant. He can take a which normally doesn't seem even remotely comical and do wonders with it. He's very insightful. And a lovely dresser, as well.

Have you seen his new show 'The Riches' on.....on.....FX, I think. It's great. Minnie Driver's in it, too.

I say YAY! to both cats and dogs.

 

[whirlcool]

Ever since I have lived in Texas there has always been people who let their cats loose, or have "outdoor cats"

Lawrence, you are so right. A responsible pet owner does not let any of their animals run loose, be it cat or dog. And in my area we have racoons, possumms, skunks, snakes, and owls.
Now I will let my dogs outside off leash when I am say, working in the garden or washing the cars. But they know not to leave the property parameter. If they do, in the house they go! And I am out there with them at all times.

 

[Cybrvanr]

That's a great piece! LOL A line I heard a while back is that dogs have ADHD and cats are autistic!

The worst thing I cannot stand is the people who say they "love" their dogs, yet they leave them alone in the yard day and night without any attention whatsoever. Yea, they may feed them every so often, and maybe provide a wooden box as a "doghouse" as if it provided all the amenities of a house! These dogs are typically found barking and howling at anything, everything, and anybody that comes in eyesight. All this racket is the result of boredom. Dogs are communal animals, and don't function well in solitude. One of the worst things is that the owners of these dogs are not even experiencing the true enjoyment and fun that comes from having a dog as a companion in their life! Instead, they leave the dog outside where they annoy the neighbors with their constant noise! The most attention one of these dogs get is when they "get loose" run all over the neighborhood, pooping everywhere, getting into trashcans, and fighting with other dogs that are still confined.

Yes, cat owners can be just as bad letting their animals roam the neighborhoods. Cats can get into fights at night with all sorts of other creatures. Cat owners seem to think just because their pets don't make a lot of noise that they can let them go free.

 

[whirlcool]

Steven:

Perfectly said, I couldn't agree with you more!