Father of the Bride

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sudsmaster

sudsmaster

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Watching the original 1950 "Father of the Bride" movie with Spencer Tracy and Liz Taylor on the local PBS station.

They just got to unwrapping the wedding presents in advance. Lots of expensive looking silver and crystal As they leave the room, I spied the unmistakable shape of a Sunbeam Mixmaster. I guess back then such a small appliance was considered very upper crust.
 
Up until rather recently, silver and fine china where the normal gifts to a bride,especially from family and close friends. My vintage copy of Miss. Vanderbilt's book on manners (circa 1950) advised brides to be,to get all their silver and china as gifts then, while people were in a giving mood, rather than wait until later on in the marriage and have to either made do with too little silver/china service, or have to borrow. It was especially seen as important for the woman who was marrying a young go-getter,like Buckley; as she would be expected to entertain to help her husband get on.

TOL Sunbeam mixers, irons, and what not were all the rage for wedding gifts. Including all that chrome (toasters, waffle irons, coffee makers, etc). Thankfully so many brides go so many duplicates that much went up into the attic,stored for use that never came, and now is being sold off on eBay.

Formal silver went out of fashion for many households during the 1970's, and what with more women working outside the home, who had time for all that polishing.

Father of the Bride:

Has to be one of my favourite films. Volumes could be written about text and subtext in that film. FoB portrays a post war America the way Hollywood/the media liked everyone to think things were.

White flight to the suburbs was in full swing, and the only non-white people you see Mr. Tracy's area are the maids. The local police are working class Irish. The wedding planner/caterer is a rather fussy man who one might suspect is supposed to be gay. Spencer Tracy is a man's man; veteran of the war, likes to work out at the gym and play with the local boys in the area. The Dunstuns', his new in-laws are the total opposite. Gentile and "old money" to a fault, Mrs. Dunstun seems not to have had one sustained thought in her head since birth.

Won't go on, and sorry for rambling, but even though FofB is one of my favourite movies, it was also much to blame of how I saw the 1950's, through film. Everyone looked so happy, and long as everyone knew their place and stayed there (that included wives and children), all was right with the world.
 
Hey, watch it! I still have sterling! :-)

Elizabeth Taylor is so pretty in that film, and the whole thing has a nice feeling. I agree with everything Laundress said about it - it's pure Hollywood fantasy at it's best.

It's so much better than the remake they did a few years back with Steve Martin. I saw it on a plane, and found it to be mean-spirited, schmaltzy, and too focused on consumption for the sake of consumption. I used to do weddings like that, and they are ridiculously expensive and stressful for everyone involved (except the guests, of course - they have a marvelous time).

In my opinion, that whole message of "This is the happiest day of your life" that they pound into the bride and groom's head is dangerous for the health of the marriage, LOL.

Other great wedding movies are "Philadelphia Story" with Katherine Hepburn, and the musical remake of it, "High Society" with Grace Kelley.
 
Or you could do like my sister (remember the one that won't use her Miele dishwasher?) did. She went out and bought everything she needed then on her wedding invitations (she had a huge wedding) printed at the bottom "We have everything we could possibly need, cash donations only......."

It kind of backfired on her. The main topic of discussion was how crass that was to put on a wedding invitation!
 
"Cash donations only..."

Would have been acceptable if she had listed a charity for which the donations were intended...

Isn't this why engaged couples leave lists - a wedding register (?) of desired items with major stores, so that the wedding guests will know that the gift they send will be truly appreciated?

Back to the movie - the gifts arrive well before the wedding. Silly me, I've always hand-carried a gift to the wedding - never seen a wedding register mentioned on the invites. Last wedding I went to, I gave the couple a really nice stainless steel tea kettle - one which I wish I had bought for myself. Naturally, when I visited them a couple years later, the tea kettle was nowhere to be found - instead there was some atrocious electric thing they they said they really liked. I had to bite my tongue not to ask for the one I gave them back, LOL.
 
My partner is from South Chicago, and it is a custom in their community to not only buy an expensive gift, but to bring an envelope of cash to the reception!

Thank God we don't live in Chicago :->
 
Cash is VERY Common!

Remember the scene from the film "The Godfather" where Don C's daughter is at her wedding collecting all those envelopes full of cash? This prompts one ganster to quip "... all that money in that little satin bag....if it wasn't the Godfather's daughter....". *LOL*

Giving a cash gift at the reception (in an envelope of course) is so common in America, that brides may purchase bags of various sizes and decoration to put all those envelopes.

One reason Spencer Tracy's angst over the cost of his daughter's wedding softens, is when the first gifts start rolling in; then it dawns on him the wedding business is not all one sided spending.

One reason so many people whinge at weddings is the cost of being invited.

Consider:

Cost of gift to bride and groom.

Cost of gift to bride to be given at shower.

Cost of cash donation to be given in envelope at wedding.

Cost of new dress/outfit for oneself and each member of the family invited.

Cost of travel to and from wedding, including loging if required.

Cost of being in the wedding party, if bridesmaid or groomsmen/usher (these include separate gifts in addition to those listed above).

As it any wonder some people would rather not attend and just send a check instead? *LOL*
 
I've been to a few weddings where people pin cash to the bride and/or groom like during some kind of special money dance or something. Even as a kid I thought this was tacky.

On the other hand, when my sister and I threw my parents a surprise 25th wedding anniversary party it made sense to just have a money tree going. My mom was able to complete her Lennox china set as a result and indicated so on her thank-you notes. After you've been married for 25 years you have pretty much any practical item you'll ever need, and the last thing you want is an accumulation of impractical stuff you'll never use. Then again, my mom only broke out the Lennox once and it has been sitting with each piece carefully wrapped in plastic ever since . . .
 

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