Consider something different?
I realize you are looking for someplace in the United States to live in, but may I suggest something different?
If you are willing to fly down to Texas or Virginia to visit your family, rather than having to live near them, why not choose Canada instead?
Overall, everything in Canada is more expensive than it is in the US. Taxes are higher too, unfortunately. I live in Alberta, which is the cheapest province to live in. We have the cheapest gasoline, no provincial sales tax, a booming oil and gas industry here and Alberta is one of two places in the world that get Chinooks!
(Imagine that it is -20 C outside, when suddenly, over the span of eight hours, it goes up to 20 C for an hour or two, before it drops back down again. Chinook means "Snow Eater" in Cree.)
The average house price in Calgary, Alberta around $380,000 right now, so $510,000 would get you a very nice house here.
Living costs can bit a little tougher up here. Minimum wage is about $10/hr and food is a bit more expensive. For example, you can expect to spend on average about $20/person at your average restaurant. About $10/person at a fast food restaurant or vietnamese restaurant.
We live in a 1000 sq.ft house. Our utilities bill usually comes to around $250 a month during winter and around $120 a month during summer. Utilities include gas, water, sewage and electricity.
Depending on the kind of vehicle you want to buy, you can be looking at anything between $10,000 all the way up to $120,000. Domestic vehicles (Such as Mopar, GM and Ford) tend to be considerably cheaper than the imports. On average, cars cost about $5000 more than they would in the USA due to the smaller population up here. Imports such as Fiat, Audi, Volkswagon, BMW, etc carry a bit of a premium. For example, some Audi's cost nearly $10k more here than they do in the states.
Canada is very culturally diverse, especially Calgary. We have large Chinese and Indian populations here with a lot of other minorities thrown in the mix.
We have government paid for medical care, additional health insurance is fairly cheap and is covered by most employers for no cost or for a small additional cost.
Gasoline right now is hovering around $1.03/Litre here right now. Unfortunately, the cheapest gasoline in Canada is as expensive as the most expensive gasoline in the USA, again due to the population.
Calgary is a city of just a bit over 1 million people and is a major airport hub. We have a decent Light Rail Transit and Bus system here and every service you can possibly imagine.
The national sales tax rate (The Goods and Services Tax) is 5 percent. I'm not too sure about the income tax rates though.
Canada uses the Metric system, so all the road signs are in Kilometers per Hour. We do occasionally use the old fashioned imperial system, but most everything we buy, shop for, etc is in metric. (ie. A Kilogram of apples, A litre of gasoline)
For someone coming out of Europe, I'd say that Canada would be an easier adjustment than moving down to the States, but that's just my opinion.
Alternatively, if you want to be physically closer to your family, I'd probably recommend moving into Toronto. However, the cost of living is higher there. Toronto is a city of about 5.5 million people I believe, so it is like the equivalent of New York City.
Considering that I'm a born and bred Canadian, you could say that I'm biased... but it should be an alternative you should consider.
