"The Dark Secret in the Garage" featuring Senators Ben, the Two Gregs, and Darth Jetcone

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mickeyd

mickeyd

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Sep 23, 2009
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Location
Hamburg NY
If Jon Jetcone is watching, either cover his eyes or get him out of the room.

There are only two annoying directions right here in the first post. Please follow them to get the desired impact.

Gifted Brother Ben, the Senator from Iowa found yet another ancient holy washer text, and he posted it, and it was safe and wonderful. OPEN THE LINK AND SCROLL DOWN, STOPPING AT THURSDAY'S FINDS.

Then after the loving urging of Multus Maximus Greg, the Senator from Omaha, Ben posted more leaves from the ancient scroll, and I read the new text, and it was anything but safe and wonderful; instead it was exhilarating BUT terrifying. PLEASE READ "THURSDAY'S FINDS"

Exhilarating because after almost 3 years nigh of being scorned by Hyacinth Bouquet, now surely she would accept me, since I have become the new proud owner of a set of ROYALISTS. Yes, the humble little wart has become a royal fist plunger, ( laughing and obviously kidding). Hyacinth heard quickly through the instant news of cyberspace of my elevation in status and was all over me literally, quicker than Larry King was when he found out about me & the UFO's

 
Ben I just love that magazine. Thanks so much for the vacuum ads!! I didn't realize that the GE were so inexpensive!! Terry
 
Terrifying because when Ben told of today's worth in dollar value of these ancient icon's, I suddenly realized with a jolt of sheer terror that I had paid Blessed Jetcone only a fraction of what they're worth. Worse, Elusive, Alluring Greg, the Senator from Massachusetts, generous and kind to a fault, but nevertheless extremely secretive and private never told me that Jetcone was co-owner of these sacred relics. Only after they were bought and checks cashed, with Youcrate on the way, didi I learn of this. Not only that but that Jet was coming to Worcester. Sadly I was not because this freight did tell me it was an antomatic washer, and not a hunchback wringer, so I could get the discount, which in the end was cheaper than flying to Boston renting a truck and driving home. Had I known Jetcone was coming, I may have paid the extra bucks. Still, I was sure that Black CIA Helicopters would be in the air hot on my tail. How easy to fly in, cloaked, over the lake, and abduct me for robbing him, the generous sponsor of our club. I still check the sky several times in the wee hours, terrified. Once it was only alien crafts and anal probes that worried me, and now it is the wrath of Darth Jetcone.

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Blackjack Skuhall was giant in our neighborhood. Although he harmed no one, the little children did not come unto him. He chewed "tabacki "and what few teeth he had were black; and when he spoke or corrected us in the giant yard shared by four families on Tenessee Street, he would gurgle a little and hack and black syrup would surround his mouth. Sometimes a little bit of the black syrup would fly out in tiny gobs as we watched in fascinated horror. He had a spittoon in the shed which we were afraid to go near thinking it doorway to some unspeakable place. Blackjack had a tiny wife who they say was very, very mean to him. Her mouth was an oval and she was forever screaming, "Blackjack, Blackjack, get in this house." She was always angry and they had no children. He had purchased a Royalist Blackstone 350S dryer as a clever, unsuspecting way to murder her. He did not succeed as you'll soon hear. Here is the dryer, never plugged in, AND--worse for me--never wired. It has a "Humid-O-Vent" that allows you to heat a room, a real boon to me because I hate the gas company and now will be able to screw those greedy bastards out of a hundred bucks a month, thanks to my new beautiful Blackstone

Hi Terry One moment please i must enter another CD to show the Humid-O-Vent

Enjoy the inside of the dryer; it's just like Greg's NIB.

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But then Senator Greg Of Massachusetts, honest to a fault

was all over me about the washer's defects. The leaks

Me: Yeah but you've warned of leaks before, and it was but a tiny trickle
Greg: Mike this is not a trickle. When the washer drains, there will be quite a bit of water on the floor.

So he gave me repair parts: a tub erector, a new belt, and small flying saucer to offer the aliens in the event of a visitation.

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And so there was

A veritable flood of water; Greg did not exaggerate. Worse, the mechanicals would get wet, and after a full load of draining and spinning, the poor gal's privates would get so wet she's spit, fizz, and shut down, blowing the circuit breaker.

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Aghast because I lack the skills many possess, I was out of

Greg thought the tub seal was breached. (That's not really a flying saucer) SO I was going to have to pull the tub which isn't so horrific a task on a Blackstone, but then I got under there and studied, and studied which I love to do, and here was the culprit

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If you look to the stuff on the dryer, you'll see a seve

and a nasty clamp. Above, you'll see a slit. The slit was out of view, and during drain and especially during spin, it would shoot water all over the place. But once I snipped it off and pulled the undamaged hose over the drain port, every thing was perfect.

Here is a picture of the Blackstone filter with the honeycomb hanging from the sump.

That arm coming down from central control has a little fist on it that turns to open the drain.

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People often say that they're surprized to see the vigor

Looking at the agiator, you'd never expect much, the fins are comically dwarfed, the shape is cartoonish, but it you study it and appreciate the width of the arc and the speed of the stroke, you'd understand why you get currents like this

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So blackjack was bent over his beloved washer comtemplating

suspicious and paranoid gave his arse a shove, and in he went, his tabacki spittle sucked madly out of his maw by the 800 rpms of the loose spinning tub, which spittle ate the slit in the hose. And that's how Mikey got a not-really-broken washer and a NIB dryer.

End of Part One.

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Yes and here for you Senator from Omaha, is the real pic of

It's on the left hand side of the pic; the spring one ws murder to grasp & remove after 50 some years.

And thanks for telling me to go on stage tonight while you were giving a masterpiece. You're the best!;'D

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Mickey ... WOW ... a Blackstone set! How many people can say that have that?

I have never seen one with a load of clothes in it; I hope you intend to grace us with some photos.

Your stories are always so interesting and you can make up character names so easily!!

Enjoy and congratulations!

Geoff
 
Blackstone!!!!

OMG....you are now gonna be known as "Blackstone Mickias" from now on in my book!!! this honour is bestowed on you by decree from the fortress of Deva!!!!...Lol

What a wonderful pair, MINT at its best, I cant wait to see what movies you are gonna deal us with this set, wonderful!!!

Enjoy, Mike

p.s Jetcone is on the next spaceshuttle flight as we speak, unable to comprehend the outrageousness of the situation!!
 
Nice stuff there Mike! I see your 350 has the rear inspection cover - very classy. Glad the fix was simple as those are always the best. Keep up the good work - sure the Royalist pair is happy in their new home.

Ben
 

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