True Confession! Yow--Hot Stuff!

[veg-o-matic]

Now, I know youall have an image of me as a devilishly handsome, urbane sophisticate. Sort of like Sean Connery, without the accent. Or the speech impediment.

And much as I hate to shatter your illusions, the truth must come out.

I'm a slob.

I know, I know. It's hard to imagine. Venus is probably geting a case of the vapors. And I apologize. But I need help.

My downfall seems to be coffee. Exhaustive scientific research proves that I have the ability to splatter coffee in a radius exceeding seven feet. Much of said splatterage ends up on my clothes.

HOW do I remove the stains? I've tried soaking them out. I've tried scrubbing them out. No, wait. That's the ring-around-the-collar method.

Here's what I've tried:

1. Spray 'N Wash. Doesn't usually work unless I can get to the stain right away. Since splatterage usually happens in the car or at work, this is a no-go.

2. Shout Wipes. Use these at work. Success rate is 50-50.

3. Oxy Prewash spray. Again, the success rate is about 50-50.

4. Dawn. I have a friend who swears by this, but it doesn't do squat for me. Neither does Liquid Tide.

5. Fels Naptha soap. Doesn't seem to do anything, but I like the smell--smells like Grandma's house, so I keep it around.

6. Tide Buzz. Colossal waste of money.

7. Anything in a spray bottle--Fantastic, 409, whatever.

So please hear my plea--what's YOUR "Ancient Chinese Secret" for removing coffee stains?

Once I get this little problem taken care of, you can go back to fantasizing about me as Mr. Studlymuffin. We'll all be happier.

veg

 

[maytagbear]

My concept (easy as storebought apple pie)

Wear brown, or cafe au lait clothing!

Love and laughter,

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[retromom]

Veg's Coffee Crisis!

Veg:

Now that I've recovered from the "vapors", here's what I suggest:

If you are drinking your coffee "neat", you should be able to get the stain out relatively easily with the aforementioned products. However, if you like your coffee stirred, not shaken with cream and/or sugar.....ooooooh...

First of all....don't let the stained item sit somewhere for a week. At that point, even bleach probably won't get the stain out.

Spritz the stain with some plain white vinegar. I would spray both sides of the garment/item. Let it sit for a bit, and brush gently with an old clean toothbrush.

Make a paste out of baking soda and water and brush onto the stain with a clean toothbrush.

Use a cold water rinse on these stains, as hot water will probably set them into the fabric.

Oh, and Veg, please don't use the toothbrush to brush your teeth after you have completed the above.

Your friend in the coffee stain business -
Venus

 

[neptuneguy27]

LMAO

That's classic MaytagBear. Sorry Veg couldn't resist.

Have you tried soaking the stained garments in something like Biz or Clorox 2? Or just soaking in regular detergent? That normally works for me.

Chris

 

[maytagbear]

All kidding aside-

Venus's multimode approach is right. If there is sugar, has to also be treated as a sugar stain, and if there is milk/cream/chemical cow, a protein and or fat stain.

Might I suggest a covered coffee mug? Some of the stainless steel ones aren't ugly. If a person can reduce the surface area, they can (usually) keep the stain small.

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[retromom]

You might also try ...........

Veg:

BTW, if my methods don't work; perhaps a Tommy Tipee cup and a bib ;-)

Ga ga goo goo -
Venus

 

[zipdang]

I found a great product called Wine Away. It's meant to get out red wine stains, and it actually works. I've also found it works well on the other stains one might typically find on a white cotton tablecloth post-dinner party, i.e. tomato sauces, coffee, tea, etc. It's all natural, too. Made from citrus oils or something. Anyhoo, I buy mine at a kitchen store (Kitchen Kaboodle here in Portland), but you might search the Net to see if it's available in other places.

Good luck!

 

[jasonl]

I use a travel mug and a straw. If I knock it over, it's not as bad as knocking over a regular open mug of coffee. And the stainless ones are awesome. They stay warm a LONG time.

If you drink lots of coffee, you can use a pint jug (or a quart if you're really daring) and they're harder to tip over. The thick glass keeps it warm too.

 

[pulsator-power]

Or, forget them all, just throw the clothing out.
(Works for me)
Jerry

 

[davenp]

Have you tried rubbing alcohol? I wash and press my shirts and somewhere I read that rubbing alcohol was good for this. I use it and haven't had any problems.

OTOH, my son might let you borrow some of his sippy cups... well, maybe...

Dave

 

[bethann]

Veg, I'm not sure which one would work best!

This

 

[bethann]

this

 

[bethann]

or this

 

[veg-o-matic]

Thank you (??) for your replies. So far, Jerry's "Take no prisoners" method is in the lead. Did I mention my middle name is Lazyass?

It's interesting how many people suggested travel mugs. The problem is (geez, this is pathetic...)--that's the problem! Each removal and replacement of the lid creates a veritable monsoon of droplets splattering hither and yon with reckless abandon.

Not that travel mugs are the only problem. Regular cups seem to be a hazard too, though in this case, it's dribblage rather than splatterage.

Perhaps it has something to do with my full, sensuous lips.

Oh. Cream, no sugar.

I suppose being careful is an option, but it seems more like a last-ditch effort to me.

Venus, I'm wondering if your vinegar/baking soda process couldn't be accomplished by wetting the garment and applying an Alka-Seltzer tablet.

I see an experiment tonight!

I will try the stated methods and report my findings. Boy, I'll be glad when this nightmare is over and I can once again return to being your Fantasy Man.

It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

 

[maytagbear]

You are, veg,--

You are!

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[veg-o-matic]

I was wondering when Bethann was going to chime in!

All-Temperature Queer! Where's a Depends when I need one?

veg the moist

 

[pulsator-power]

Sometimes the simplist is the best!
Oh, and Alka Seltzer usually makes me throw up, but I know it might work here.
I know how it is. Sunday I was driving with a double chocolate Dunkin Donut in my hand, and of course, some chocolate frosting fell right down between my crotch onto the light colored velour seat, where it stayed for another 1/2 hour. It dried to a paste & came off the seat with plain water. My jeans were another story.
Jerry

 

[retromom]

What's that on your pants??!!??

Jerry:

You and my husband have the same problem: what is eaten is also worn!!

Venus

 

[pulsator-power]

Venus: not usually, I'm pretty neat about what I eat. I just happened to be driving at the time, and double chocolate frosting can be messy. I was watching the road! Plus, I polished off a bagel & creamcheese just beforehand, & I didn't lose a drop. (It was only half of a donut)
Jerry