Twin Right: "Look, Helen, how smooth my sweater fits! No pulling around the buttons and the sleeves are just right! I love my Maytag washer with the exclusive cold water wash! And I even use Dash!"
Twin Left: "Oh shut up, Vera! You are such a goodie two-shoes. You probably drink the rinse water! My sweater used to fit like that, but since I spent all the money from my divorce settlement on implants, I haven't bought new clothes that fit. But, woohoo, them mens that are coming around now! These puppies are gonna land me the sugar daddy of my dreams, and then I'm gonna get a maid who will wash my clothes for me and I won't give two diddlies if it is a Maytag or a rock by the river! Pass me my cocktail, Vera. Where are my cigarettes?"