What if Microsoft made a washer?

[fa_f3_20]

So the thread "Poor Power Point" in the Deluxe thread obviously sent my brain down the wrong path, and I got to thinking: What would happen if Microsoft made a washer? Everyone contribute! I'll get it started...

What if Microsoft make a washer?

It would only wash one item at a time unless you paid extra for the Pro version.

 

[toggleswitch2]

Hanes 34 waist,.dark colors . Normal briefs.

It would gather personal information about you and send it back "to headquarters". Of course only for product betterment, natch.

 

[iheartmaytag]

I thought they did--it's called Whirlpool.
The repairman told me the biggest problem with Whirlpool FL machines is their electronics.

OK--sorry. It would be a machine that you would have to upgrade yearly. and would crash at least twice a day. (See above)

 

[danemodsandy]

To set a cycle, you would use the control panel, or put the lid up and down a few times, or give the agitator a spin by hand.

And the instruction manual would mention only one of these.

 

[cleanteamofny]

Read the fine print:
Made in China!

 

[redcarpetdrew]

Microsoft's washer

Unless you had really good security, some unknown person across the world could set your bright colors load to hot wash.

Service and parts support would only last a few years then give you nothing, forcing you to upgrade.... Oh Yeah... I forgot... That ship's already sailed...

The customer support number would ring in some foreign country with incredible hold times and you'd have a 50/50 chance of no help/wrong answer... Oh Yeah... I forgot again...

RCD

 

[oldhouseman]

If microsoft

made washing machines I would go back to using a washboard and washtub. Clotheslines work very fine, Thankyou very much.

 

[andrewinorlando]

If Microsoft made a washer, then I'd have something to wash my Windows!!

 

[jonv112]

You would have to click "OK" then "Are you sure?" every time you wanted to change a setting. Oh, and you would have to buy a 3rd party "Clean washer" cycle.

 

[volvoguy87]

Microsoft.

If your washer crashed and you had to re-"boot" in the midst of a load, you would loose your clothes forever!

You would only be recommended to use Microsoft-compatible HE detergent (Tide/Laundry Explorer), but Mozilla would market a better detergent (Persil/Firefox).

Finally, the folks at Apple would make their own washing machine that would look better, work better, and be more reliable and fun. Unfortunately, it would have only 1 cycle, but that cycle would be nearly universal, and at its worst still outperform the Microsoft washer.

I have rebuilt my Microsoft computer recently, and I now want a Mac (can you tell?).
Dave

 

[cleanteamofny]

Computer software

Knowing bill,
The first Microsoft washer would be controed by Windows 98

 

[thomasortega]

Not enough memory to run this load...
please try to close some buttons or zippers and then start again.

or the washer would freeze while spinning (just like "The Matrix's FX) and user should press "program-temp-cancel" twice to restart it.

 

[pturo]

What if Microsoft made Washers?

I'd buy an Apple.

 

[panthera]

You'd have...

To push "Start" to turn it off.

Older detergents (like ones from way back in 2006) would suddenly stop working and newer detergents (2007-2008) would not work yet, but "soon".

When the washer breaks down, and has the same problem as the last 15 times, the help line will insist you must have used a new water softener or not closed buttons and zipped zippers... and won't listen to you until you start over, as in rip everything out and rebuild it yourself. Again.

Your artsy-fartsy next-door neighbor will have a washer made by Apple, It won't wash a bit better, and it will only wash designer clothes which cost three times as much as yours do...and turn out to be made by Microsoft, anyway. She will spend washday telling everyone how much better her washer is than yours and pointedly ignoring...

...your other neighbor who has one he built himself which runs Linux. It will run better than both of yours, but since he only has one pair of jeans and two T-shirts to wash...

 

[whirlcool]

The user manual would assume you have a total working knowledge of how to wash clothes. No wash tips included.

If the washer breaks and you call tech support, they will insist that you are the only one in the world with that problem.

 

[j2400]

Every new design would be announced as an exciting breakthrough. On closer examination, one would find that these exciting breakthroughs either:

A) Fixes a problem that shouldn't have existed in the first place

B) Copies an idea used by someone else. Indeed, every new washer design would bear striking resemblance to what Apple Washer, Inc was making a couple of years ago. Despite the total lack of innovation, there would be plenty of writeups about how "innovative" Microsoft washers are.

Once every year, you'd have to reinstall the washer. Otherwise the performance would get slower and slower, and eventually basic features would stop working properly.

 

[toggleswitch2]

Perhaps you'd be able to add hardware and software and customize to the heart's content.

(But that doesn't mean the reuslting system would work 100% of the time, either.............)

 

[fa_f3_20]

You'd have to buy all of your clothes from Microsoft in order for it to work right. If it broke down, they'd tell you that the problem was caused by third-party clothes.

 

[whirlcool]

If a new wash technology came out in competition instead of improving on it, Microsoft would just buy the competing company rather than develop the improvements on their own.