Affairs of the heart

Automatic Washer - The world's coolest Washing Machines, Dryers and Dishwashers

Help Support :

Love with a lid

I experienced love at the age of 54. It began as an agreement for mutual pleasure without relationship. When it shifted to love the experience was amazing. The other participant was being stretched way beyond his comfortby feeling something he never expected to happen.
I had a HUGE breakthrough. Everytime I perceived an expression of love I went to newer and higher expectations, often beyond what he was ready for.
We had "Come to Jesus" recently. I simply let go of expectation. At first it felt like defeat and then I realized he was afraid to demonstrate love because I would run with it.
Love with a lid on it, or love with no hope, set us free. I simply savor each moment and don't look for anything beyond. It has allowed him to stop worrying and just fall in love with abandon, because I don't EXPECT anything more, in that moment. Like the desperate housewife I was slowly causing him to withdraw.
Love, for us, has been easy and gentle. No Sofia Loren drama, just easy.
Kelly
 
ya, but..

I've tried to meet you a number of times, and to no avail.
What's a fella gotta do? Remember when I picked up the Maytag AMP from up Dundalk way (near baltimore) and I tried to get you involved? Waddup wid dat?
Dude...single...in Maryland...appliance & phonograph guy.
Let's play a record and do some laundry. Maybe bake a cake.
Holla from Hollywood.

Bob
 
single..

Yes...over 3 years now.
Just getting the hang of it, actually.
I have about 100 boyfriends...just not all at once.
Gay.com rocks....I'm even actually bobofhollywood there as well.

Holla from Hollywood.

Bob
 
This thread made a song stick in my head....

After reading this thread today at lunch, i had to run on up the hill to Makawao. All the way up the Haleakala highway I'm singin'-

Cupid!
Draw back your bow
And let
Your arrow go
straight through my lover's heart
for me (nobody but me)

Cupid!
Please hear my cry
and let
Your arrow fly
straight through my lovers heart
straight through my lovers heart....

Geez, and I haven't even heard this song in ages.
There!
Now it's outta my head
and into yours!
 
I'm going to be the tu** in the punchbowl here, but here goes.

Get off the internet and get into the community!!

Push yourself to get out of the house and get involved in local stuff of interest. Some of it may not be for you, but try!!!

(aside...I came out about 1 1/2 years ago at 42 y.o. into an immediate relationship (mistake that I had to make), broke up then about 3 months subsequent, met someone else. Wonderful guy)

Anyway, get involved in the community. I met Brian in the GLBT swim team here (we were both on the dunk-tank during Pride). Take some classes at the GLBT community center (here there are several evening groups which aren't exactly therapy but allow one to widen one's circle. Get involved with HRC, AIDS walk, charities, etc etc. GLBT chamber-of-commerce. The list is long, especially in a city like Baltimore/Washington.

Another organization which I found helpful in "getting out of my shell" is Body Electric.

Put yourself out there on Yahoo etc but don't obsess over it.

Note: This is very similar to Job Hunting 101.

J
 
Could this be the start of....

automaticwasherdating.com?

"A site dedicated to finding love in the suds!"

It would certainly have made things easier to date someone you have something in common with straight away!

Good luck Veg, hope Cupid comes calling soon.

Peter(Birmingham Automaticwasher bear!!)
 
i didn't meet my partner kyle on a website but before i met him i met some really nice people as a result of these personals sites. My profiles are still up but i rarely respond to messages anymore. Although i have to say that through this website i have formed a very close friendship with LavamatJon and i have this website to thank for that. So just remember that Mr Right could be anyone, he could be standing in front of you in a queue at the supermarket, he could be a face in the crowd (like my kyle was).
I recommend these personals sites, you get to meet people who you can form friendships with, who knows where it will blossom to.
Good luck with your search for 'Him'
Matt
 
oh Jeff your poem "wait" describes perfectly what I call love. *WOW*

Despite proclaimed love, never be afraid to cast-off someone who harms you or others around you.

Never be afraid to excuse yourself from someone who insists on imposing his issues(read: major malfunctions) upon you.

Love should never hurt. (Love-making however is debate-able!)

:-)
 
Love in the suds.

I couldn't have said that better my self

"Could this be the start of....
automaticwasherdating.com?

"A site dedicated to finding love in the suds!""

a themed web dating site for the average person. I like that.
 
Not for nothing, I have had great success meeting people from online. This of course after much conversation and "screening". You have to be very selective, and you have to be very good at telling people "this isn't going to work", "no", "go away", and "I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to use it on your skanky ass".

OTOH, nothing beats meeting someone realtime, face to face. I'm with Jamiel -- get your butt out there and meet people.
 
to me....

Love is putting someone else's needs above your own, and to be with someone they come first, no matter what.
I grew up with a good example of that in my parents. Married 51 years next month, I've never heard them ever have a serious fight.
yes they bicker now and again, but thats part of the fun for them.

Toggle you are a very wise man, and I thank you for your words. They do comfort me and uplift me.
 
oh wow, that poem Wait, is it just me or did anyone else have tears in their eyes reading that.
The power of love is unmeasurable, thats what i've learned.

Heres a quote Kyle once said to me.

"You know you are in love
when you see the world in his eyes,
and his eyes everywhere in the world."

Ain't it sweet

Hope everyone is well and that they know they are loved by at least one person in this world.
Matt
 
"A site dedicated to finding love in the suds!""

Trust me darling, there is enough drama (and related) here, even without such a feature, to fill the daytime ariwaves AND the cable stations.

Believe me when I tell you, this place can at times be a glass fishbowl. [A casualty of having so many "women" in one place! LOL ]

Should someone in Seattle, WA squeak out a fart (not necessarily you Kelly! *WAVES* LOL)in the middle of the night under the covers, the phone and internet lines will be afire and it will reach Miami, FL in milli-seconds.

Before you know it our boy Anderson Cooper will be broadcasting all sorts of lies, rumors and mis-conceptions on CNN, no matter how slanted, unfounded, ridculous or self-serving its instigator is!

Anywhoo... three cheers to love.
BOO HISS to those who rain on others' love parade!



http://usliberals.about.com/od/peopleinthenews/p/AndersonCooper.htm
 
Thanks Jeff.

Yes, love is the glue that hold the Earth together. Nothing is more important.

Love is ever-present.
Love is infinite.
Love is a bottom-less pit. You can remove some and dole it out only to have a full resevoir again, capable of being given out freely.

Remember, love comes in MANY forms:

STORGY: Love of parent and child
EROS: Physical love
PHILIA: Friendship love
AGAPE: Pure spritual love, unconditional

and they DO overlap and change over time.

IN-LOVE can come and go. True love is real and can never be destroyed, once it exists.

So the trick is MAKE it exist.
 
Get out in the community...

That is not available to everyone unfortunately. When I lived in Chicago I was amazed at all that was available as alternatives to the bars and websites. Unfortunately, not everyone is so fortunate.

I am now living in the South in a very small town north of Little Rock. None of this is available to gay people here. There is not even anything (that I could find) available in Little Rock which is probably one of the largest cities in Arkansas. I have hoped to find some kind of social organization or something that we could take advantage of as I'd like to meet other gay couples. These groups just don't seem to exist here. I tried to start a couple of things myself with my friends but they tell me if folks know you are going to something that is known as "gay" that folks won't go for feer of being seen. I guess I'm am too far out of the closet to even relate to that anymore.

The gay community here (such as it is) is very clique oriented and it seems you have to know someone to get in. We spend a lot of time with our straight friends and have a few gay friends but that has been a struggle in itself.

For some, the bars and the Internet is the only outlet. I'd take the Internet over the bars any day because I don't drink or smoke and I can't handle the confined areas of dense cig smoke.

I think the web is relatively safe as long as you exercise some caution. It's like anything else you need to be able to see through someone's BullSXXt to see the real person behind it.
 
Watching

The only thing better than being in love... being able to watch someone you love find it.
Conragtulations Togs. Thank you for letting me watch.
Kelly
We got in trouble in we called them farts. They were, "Toots".
 
I wanted to respond last night but somehow I couldn't find the words. Those of you who know me will understand the magnitude of that sentence.

When I started this thread (and I almost didn't), my intention was to get some advice on where I should try looking, and maybe get a few "Good Luck!"s as well. I knew I'd find some support, but the outpouring--both here and via email--is staggering.

Poor Jeff has had to scrape me up off the sidewalk more than once, and Darrel and Tom have been the recipients of my incessant whining and crying.

Those are three men who are going to get into heaven, no questions asked.

I'm also surprised at the number of people who are riding the same choppy seas I am. I thought I was in the life raft by myself, but it's actually quite crowded. And cozy.

Frankly, I can't believe I'm doing this at all. I feel like I'm outside my body saying "Who the hell are you, and what have you done with the real Bob?"

Then again, I never thought I'd fall in love, either.

Though I wish things had worked out, I realized that if I really, truly loved this man, I'd have to love him enough to let go.

Not that it was easy. I guess I don't have to tell anyone that the pain is absolutely unbearable; just getting through another day comes as a shock. There are days when the desire to crawl into a hole and just shrivel up is almost overwhelming.

Scott sent me an email today reminding me not to overlook Mr. Almost Right. That is, by default, who I am looking for.

(See what happens? Get a broken heart and the grammar goes right down the toilet.)

Well, so I took your advice and posted my profile on gay.com in addition to Yahoo. And let me tell you, the responses are just POURING in!

Not.

Thank you for all your good wishes, and for sharing your personal stories with me. They touch my heart and give me hope. When I came across this site--I can't even remember when--I knew I'd enjoy it here.

What I didn't know what that it would change my life.

veg
 
If only you really understood the light you are to the unive

..and I thank YOU for including me in the story of your latest love.

Now people, THIS is a man who loves everything and everyone his being comes into contact with.

Kellly, I sincerely hope that everyone you have said a kind word to reciprocates by saying a prayer for your health and healing. WE DESPERATELY need YOU around for decades to come.

With my fondest regards, and affection.
-Steve

oh, and stop peeping through my bedroom window. LOL ROFL LMAO.
 
Ralph, I face the exact same issues where I live as you do in Little Rock, but I"M single, which I guess is worse. There isn't much of a 'community" here, especially people here my age who aren't stickly looking to be street walker of the week (I'm being diplomatic). VEG has his three closest confidants and such, mine are Steve 1-18, TCOC6912 in New Orleans, and DadOEs. My mipression is nobody wants good, decent, quality guys like VEG and myself. UGH.
 
Bob, What's with the cake? Is it 3 layers? Any significance to the frosting on top but not on the side? Is it supposed to convey the thought, "If I had known you were coming I would have baked a cake"? Now, run wash your hands before you touch it.

Toggle: With reference to the equalization of pressure in Seattle, I am glad it would just be the phone wires on fire and not the wires of the electric blanket.

Does anyone remember the Twilight Zone episode, I Sing The Body Electric? It was one of the most touching television programs I have ever seen.
 
mingle mingle mingle

Why be isolated?

This is a must-have guidebook that lists "where the boys are" in a city near you. Actually in nearly every city in every state in the country, Canada and Mexico.

And it's not only about hooking-up your washer, either. The book lists legitimate venues, social outlets, gay-owned and gay-friendly business.

We have our own flag. Our own (sub) culture, and our own
network. Don't be alone if you don't want to be.

....and alone and lonely are two VERY different things.

http://www.damron.com/
 
this thread...

Has really tugged heavily on my heart. So much wisdom, and so many words of comfort.

You guys have no idea how much I needed the words contained in this thread...
 
"My mipression is nobody wants good, decent, quality guys like VEG and myself. UGH."

Oh, no, appnut, it's not that guys like you aren't actively wanted. Quite the contrary.

It's that many of us are too jaded to believe that guys like you really exist...

If each were truly convinced of the existence of the other, with today's technology, our collective drive and determination?

There'd be a housewarming every week! (And bear in mind, the situation has actually gotten markedly better over the last decade...)

It's still hard to take that first step, though, sometimes.
 
Veg, I met my partner of 21 years in a gay bar of all places. Neither of us have ever been bar flies, maybe just a little back in the disco days of the late 70's and early 80's. I was out with friends, recently jilted by a big bear of a guy who I thought was Mr. Right, and would have been my first serious relationship. These friends dragged me to the bar after my supposed Mr. Right flaunted his new (sleazy if I say so myself) boyfriend in front of me before they went out for an evening. In his defense I'll say that he had no idea how devastated I was or I'm sure he wouldn't have done that. I figured what the heck, I'll go out and drink my troubles away for a night. I stopped myself before I got too drunk and I'm glad I did. Standing across from me at the bar was this handsome bear with puppy dog eyes who simply couldn't bring himself to approach me. He had also been dragged out to the bar by friends. With the help of that alcohol I had in me, my inhibitions were suppressed and I went over to him, we started talking, exchanged numbers, he called me the next day and invited me to a little party he was having, I spent the night and I basically never left. Who knew? I kept telling myself I was on the rebound and to be careful, but this was the real deal.

It must be obvious that I have an affinity for bears and big men. Veg, if you are into that type of guy you have probably won half the battle. My experience in the bear community has been that these men are generally more sincere and real. They aren't shallow and unrealistically perfect GQ or Abercrombie models, they are just regular and modest guys whose imperfections add to their charm and who most of the time wear their heart on their sleeve. Adjectives that come to mind are warm, sensitive, caring and the above mentioned sincere. By and large, members of the bear community are relaxed, comfortable with who they are, and not at all judgemental.

You might consider checking some bear dating sites or attending some bear events if that physical type interests you. And I am a firm believer that there needs to be a physical attraction in the mix. I have a friend who has had ads on bear sites for a couple of years and is still waiting for Mr. Right. Things don't necessarily happen overnight. As has been stated here above, you'll find love when you least expect to. That's how it happened for me and I suspect for a lot of other people too.

Even living in the SF Bay Area with all of its liberalism and options for gay men and women, my partner and I still are not active in the community. We are mainstream and don't subscribe to the gay stereotype subculture. My feeling is that if you limit yourself to searching within the community, you are going to end up with someone who wants to be active in that subculture and who wears his lifestyle on his sleeve. That's a personal choice and you may be OK with it, but living in the closeted Silicon Valley suburban scene, my partner and I prefer to blend in.

Veg, I wish you the best of luck, be patient, be careful, and hopefully you'll have a little fun along the way.

Ralph
 
One place to start: Metropolitan Community Church (www.mccchurch.org)

ARKANSAS
Eureka Springs:

MCC of the Living Spring
PO Box 365
Eureka Springs, Arkansas 72632
Phone (Message Only): 479-253-9337

Co-Pastors: Rev. Steve T. Urie ([email protected])

Connie Gilpin ([email protected], 870-438-6171)
Phone (9:00am-5:00pm only)
Lay Delegate: Chari Jones
Alternate Lay Delegate: Marilyn Hansen

Resource Coordinator: Chari Jones
Pass It On' program contact: Connie Gilpin
Relay For Life Team contact: Connie Gilpin
Meeting Location: 17 Elk St
Worship time: Sunday 6:00 pm
Region 2


Little Rock:
MCC Spirit of the Rock
PO Box 250307
Little Rock, Arkansas 72225
501-753-7075
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.spiritsongmcc.org/
Senior Pastor: Rev. Vicki Anderson [email protected]
Lay Delegate: Kathy Boyle
Meeting Location: 2017 Chandler St., North Little Rock, Arkansas
Worship time: Sunday 10:30 am
Region 2

Texas:
Waco:

Central Texas MCC From The Heart
P.O. Box 1722, Waco, TX 76703
254-752-5331
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.centexmcc.com
Pastor: Rev. Charles Garrison
Lay Delegate: Mary Hicks
Meeting location: 1601 Clay St
Worship times: Sunday 11:00 am
Region 6

MARYLAND: Baltimore:

MCC Baltimore
401 W. Monument St. Baltimore, MD 21201
410-669-6222 Fax 410-669-3003
Email: [email protected]
Website; www.MCCBaltimore.org
Pastor: Rev. David Smith [email protected]
Lay Delegates: Chris Bell ([email protected]) & Debora Ruffin ([email protected])
Worship Times:
Sundays
9:00 AM Traditional Celebration
10:00 AM Hospitality Hour
11:00 AM Praise Celebration
Wednesday, 7:30 PM "Whosoever Wednesdays"
Region 3

Also:

Catholic? Dignityusa.org
Episcopal? integrityusa.org
Presbyterian? That All May Freely Serve tamfs.org
Human Rights Coalition hrc.org
 
I've been unsuccessful finding a church home myself but am thinking about trying out Marble Collegiate in Manhattan (the former Norman Vincent Peale church!)

If anyone has horror stories about these folks, an email would be mighty appreciated beforehand...

I've always liked and respected Rev. Troy Perry, but for some reason I never felt comfortable at MCC/NY.
 
Hi Veg
I want to wish you luck on your "quest" and hope you find happiness. Of course, you have this club and friends, so you already have a measure of happiness, right?
Make yourself available, but don't look too hard...love will find you when you least expect it. ;-)
Rich
 

Similar threads

Marky_Mark
Motor Control Board Fried!
Replies
28
Views
1K
Marky_Mark
Marky_Mark
moderncleveland
The Case of the Missing Dip-It ... and a solution!
Replies
7
Views
367
philcobendixduo
philcobendixduo
S
Whirlpool Washer WTW5000DW3
Replies
9
Views
441
whirlpool862
W
rp2813
16" Emerson Electric Oscillating Fan Model 29648
Replies
12
Views
350
qsd-dan
qsd-dan
bellalaundry
Pink Frigidaire 30" Stove Repair Question...
Replies
4
Views
79
bellalaundry
bellalaundry

Latest posts

Back
Top