Hey all, I haven't posted here in a long long time... But I think it's time for me to Vent.... A couple months ago my dad passed away and I've been taking care of him for just over 10 years because his heath wasn't so great I didn't want him to live by himself... Anyways after filling out all the paper work etc after his death it looks like my dad cashed out his insurance policy years ago when my mother was alive... Not that it was much but it sure would have help me out paying all the bills "His Bills" and funeral expense... I'm sure glade my mother isn't around, this really would have put her in the poor house like it has for me... Sucks to be me right now guys...
Can I Vent for a second
- Thread starter Acerone
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jamman_98
Well-known member
Understand
Well my brother managed to take all of my share of my late father's estate. He got his house and money and left me with nothing but memories. It's amazing how family can screw you. He did not have the guts to talk to me. I had to find out in the probate records. And he found a document showing I owe the estate over $15,000.00. Mad? Pissed is more like it. God will get him in the end.
Joe
jamman_98
Well my brother managed to take all of my share of my late father's estate. He got his house and money and left me with nothing but memories. It's amazing how family can screw you. He did not have the guts to talk to me. I had to find out in the probate records. And he found a document showing I owe the estate over $15,000.00. Mad? Pissed is more like it. God will get him in the end.
Joe
jamman_98
alanlendaro
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Is there a lawyer for his estate?
If they are his bills (in his name), you shouldn't be liable for them. If you are his executor, you might also have some luck getting creditors to take a percentage of the total amount.
Worth talking to an estate lawyer if you can.
If they are his bills (in his name), you shouldn't be liable for them. If you are his executor, you might also have some luck getting creditors to take a percentage of the total amount.
Worth talking to an estate lawyer if you can.
Often times if there is an estate then the creditors can go after the estate for money owed. But if there isnt any property as in my mother -in- laws case when she died her bills died with her. Creditors tried to shame us into paying her credit cards but an eldercare lawyer told us that we dont have to pay them one cent. Not our name on the credit cards and all we had to do was send a copy of the death certificate showing that she indeed had passed away. Not much they can do then.
She has been gone now for almost 2 years and we get a call from time to time asking to speak with her...i tell them to go to the cemetary and maybe she can talk to you there if you do a seance...Or where one company bought her debt and they called and Scott told the woman on the other end...its not my bill and I dont owe it. Then she was yammering about credit scores..he said...do you think she cares now??? NO. She was pissed but they cant do anything.
She has been gone now for almost 2 years and we get a call from time to time asking to speak with her...i tell them to go to the cemetary and maybe she can talk to you there if you do a seance...Or where one company bought her debt and they called and Scott told the woman on the other end...its not my bill and I dont owe it. Then she was yammering about credit scores..he said...do you think she cares now??? NO. She was pissed but they cant do anything.
laundromat
Well-known member
My sister and brother,scoundrals and scavingers they are,took all of my grandparents and parents belongings and cashed out my grandfathers pention and social security checks (totaled around $45,000)that were in his closet.He only cashed them when he needed to but was working as a maintanance man at a condo complex.He got free rent,free electric,free water and free phone/cabel.all he bought was food,beer,liquor,tobaco,gas and women.I'd go there twice a week to clean house,bathe the dog and send out payment for his insurance,medical bills and prescriptions.My sister and brother didn't even visit.I had no interest in their belongings and never attempted to get one red cent.I would have appreciated getting at least a photograph or something to remember them.Neither my sister nor my brother have anything to show for the thousands of dollars they stole.And my aunts,uncles and cousins wonder why I seclude myself from them.Why did I have to be the only family member that lives thousands of miles away and don't call them or email them.Why send love out to those who hate you?I have more close friends and some adopted relatives I can share my unconditional love with.
Laundromat...something doesnt make sense to me with that story. How could your brother and sister cash out the Social Security checks if their name was not on them? Unless they were executors of the will/estate they couldnt do much with that money since it would have to go to the estate. If they deposited that money into the bank or went somewhere to cash all those checks in someone had to know what was going on. If I were you I would call Social Security and tell them the situation. Then sit back and watch. They dont like fraud and thats what this is is fraud. Same with the pension. There has to be more to this to make sense to me.
andrewinorlando
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- Oct 18, 2004
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If your name isn't on your dad's bills, then they are not your problem. Not one red cent of them. If any of the debt is yours, it can't hurt to try and negotiate it down, especially if you lead creditors to believe you might file bankruptcy, given the situation. Worth a shot.
when my uncle that raised me died
i got some 10,000 worth of his hospital bills sent to me!
what a joke!
i called em up and asked if they were trying to be funny or what? i then told them to shove them!
i agree, if your name isn't on it just ignore it!
i got some 10,000 worth of his hospital bills sent to me!
what a joke!
i called em up and asked if they were trying to be funny or what? i then told them to shove them!
i agree, if your name isn't on it just ignore it!
washerboy
Well-known member
makes me feel somewhat better
Your stories are making me feel better; I'm an only child. Mom passed in '88..dad remarried less than 30 days after I got mom in the ground... Then dad and wonder girl divorced in 03...she got everything in the divorce...house, car, money in the bank..even family items from my mother's side of the family....(I ask myself all the time..why the hell she'd want my dead mother's stuff???) and I mean everything!!! they now live together. Dad is almost 80..has cancer..she calls to remind me at least once a month..she's "only his friend" and I'm the next of kin...the last bank statments I saw with her and her children's names on it totaled a little over 250k. At one time I was pissed over the money then decided life was too short to dwell on that...But the pisser is..I'm stuck with paying for Dad's future funeral expenses..simialr to Acerone situation..Dad cancled his burial insurance, life insurance and cancer policies.....Thank god he's a vet....they offer some help..I'll still be out a good chuck of change I dont have...but his funeral will be cheap to say the least!!!
Your stories are making me feel better; I'm an only child. Mom passed in '88..dad remarried less than 30 days after I got mom in the ground... Then dad and wonder girl divorced in 03...she got everything in the divorce...house, car, money in the bank..even family items from my mother's side of the family....(I ask myself all the time..why the hell she'd want my dead mother's stuff???) and I mean everything!!! they now live together. Dad is almost 80..has cancer..she calls to remind me at least once a month..she's "only his friend" and I'm the next of kin...the last bank statments I saw with her and her children's names on it totaled a little over 250k. At one time I was pissed over the money then decided life was too short to dwell on that...But the pisser is..I'm stuck with paying for Dad's future funeral expenses..simialr to Acerone situation..Dad cancled his burial insurance, life insurance and cancer policies.....Thank god he's a vet....they offer some help..I'll still be out a good chuck of change I dont have...but his funeral will be cheap to say the least!!!
iheartmaytag
Well-known member
The advice about "bills" is accurate, except--the final bills such as funeral.
I was in the same boat with my Step-dad. He had been ill with stomach cancer for two years, with hospital bills totalling over $389K. The hospital wrote off much of those bills after his death as I was not responsible, however, the funeral home had me sign when I made the arrangements which left me holding the tab for the funeral.
Now he had no estate to speak of, and you can bet his daughter didn't turn a hand to help either before his death or after.
Now a little advice from my Uncle, the insurance agent. If you find a policy, no matter how old, inquire about it. You never know what value they may hold. Remember, most states can't hold the children liable for a parent's bill, unless you signed for the debt. i.e. siging into the hospital, signing funeral director's statements.
I feel you pain man, just be assured it does get better.
I was in the same boat with my Step-dad. He had been ill with stomach cancer for two years, with hospital bills totalling over $389K. The hospital wrote off much of those bills after his death as I was not responsible, however, the funeral home had me sign when I made the arrangements which left me holding the tab for the funeral.
Now he had no estate to speak of, and you can bet his daughter didn't turn a hand to help either before his death or after.
Now a little advice from my Uncle, the insurance agent. If you find a policy, no matter how old, inquire about it. You never know what value they may hold. Remember, most states can't hold the children liable for a parent's bill, unless you signed for the debt. i.e. siging into the hospital, signing funeral director's statements.
I feel you pain man, just be assured it does get better.
spiceman1957
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- Nov 9, 2006
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- 724
Acerone and others here,
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. No, it not fair. Acerone, you will be rewarded (if not on this Earth right now) for taking good care of your father. You did you part and I hope you can get through this without losing it. I have always heard.....Parents can take care of 12 children, but 12 children can't take care of one parent!
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. No, it not fair. Acerone, you will be rewarded (if not on this Earth right now) for taking good care of your father. You did you part and I hope you can get through this without losing it. I have always heard.....Parents can take care of 12 children, but 12 children can't take care of one parent!
People I know of that when a loved one passes and there is no money in the kitty to take care of things just had the body cremated and then parked the ashes in a closet or mantle. No muss no fuss and no financial headache. You dont need to have a funeral home involved...i just think that they are money grubbers anyways and I have already told Scott that when I die fry me and then scatter my ashes at the beach. When I am dead I wont care what happens to my body. I am already an organ donor so what ever is good they can take...the rest can go up in smoke. My mom the "good Catholic that she is" said to me...how are you going to resurrect?..I told her we aint coming back once we are gone thats it.
Funeral Co-op
People's Memorial and Neptune Society are two membership organizations to reduce burial costs. People's memorial is joined for a fee of $65.00. Membership entitles you to prenegotiated costs and prevents the director from attempting to up sell into more costly packages. Neptune Society is a prepaid plan with arranged cremation and burial at sea. Both plans save families thousands of dollars but must be in place at least 24 hours before death.
Five wishes, available from the Council on Aging and many other locations allows you to write out how you want your last days, medical intervention and service. It is recognized as a binding agreement in all states. I directed my family to put me in the self cleaning oven and have it over with.
People's Memorial and Neptune Society are two membership organizations to reduce burial costs. People's memorial is joined for a fee of $65.00. Membership entitles you to prenegotiated costs and prevents the director from attempting to up sell into more costly packages. Neptune Society is a prepaid plan with arranged cremation and burial at sea. Both plans save families thousands of dollars but must be in place at least 24 hours before death.
Five wishes, available from the Council on Aging and many other locations allows you to write out how you want your last days, medical intervention and service. It is recognized as a binding agreement in all states. I directed my family to put me in the self cleaning oven and have it over with.
'you will be rewarded (if not on this Earth right now)&
Don't bet on it!
How can siblings get away with screwing each other over an inheritance? If there is no will suerly the estate has to be divided equally between all parties involved. If there is a will (that is unfair) it can be contested. If there are bills, ought they not be equally divided between all beneficiaries of a deceased estate?
Don't bet on it!
How can siblings get away with screwing each other over an inheritance? If there is no will suerly the estate has to be divided equally between all parties involved. If there is a will (that is unfair) it can be contested. If there are bills, ought they not be equally divided between all beneficiaries of a deceased estate?
toggleswitch2
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- May 23, 2008
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Might as well get used to the flames and heat of hell ASAP.
~I directed my family to put me in the self-cleaning oven and have it over with.
Oooooh, perfect. That's what I want done to me, questions is, who is going to chop us into half / thirds to get us to fit?
I had to force my relatives to pay all funeral costs out of the proceeds of the estate. It's bad enough grandpa left it all to ONE of his two children because he didnt want "that !@#$%^" (an in-law being the spouse of one of his children) to get "even one penny". But to only have the benfeciary pay for half of the funeral and have the neglected party have to shell out is nasty!
It is sad that oftentimes the straight siblings get a house, cash, furniture, paid-for wedding and the 'mos may not when the parental units are alive. Stealing from the 'mos upon the death of relatives is horrbile, but unfortunately the precedent may have already been set.
The good thing is, life oftens slaps us 'mos down so hard and so often and we are forced like a Phoenix to raise ourselves up from the ahshes and move on. As grandpa used to say "You can't --ck me unless I lie down first.
G-d bless all of you who give up your homes and lives and location/state to care for an ailing relative. The universe will reward you in some way!
~I directed my family to put me in the self-cleaning oven and have it over with.
Oooooh, perfect. That's what I want done to me, questions is, who is going to chop us into half / thirds to get us to fit?
I had to force my relatives to pay all funeral costs out of the proceeds of the estate. It's bad enough grandpa left it all to ONE of his two children because he didnt want "that !@#$%^" (an in-law being the spouse of one of his children) to get "even one penny". But to only have the benfeciary pay for half of the funeral and have the neglected party have to shell out is nasty!
It is sad that oftentimes the straight siblings get a house, cash, furniture, paid-for wedding and the 'mos may not when the parental units are alive. Stealing from the 'mos upon the death of relatives is horrbile, but unfortunately the precedent may have already been set.
The good thing is, life oftens slaps us 'mos down so hard and so often and we are forced like a Phoenix to raise ourselves up from the ahshes and move on. As grandpa used to say "You can't --ck me unless I lie down first.
G-d bless all of you who give up your homes and lives and location/state to care for an ailing relative. The universe will reward you in some way!
toggleswitch2
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- May 23, 2008
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That's what I want done to me, questions is, who is going to chop us into half / thirds to get us to fit?
Oh nevermind. Maybe they can fold me up such that I can kiss my own @$$ good-bye!
Oh nevermind. Maybe they can fold me up such that I can kiss my own @$$ good-bye!
Toggles honey...you can still get f*cked standing up too ya know....I would have said that to him to make him think....
toggleswitch2
Well-known member
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Spead 'em!
Only if you want to be.
Only if you want to be.
