cell phones...

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OK, one more... and a warning, I am into the scotch

- Sung to the Spiritual, "I Got Shoes"

I got a phone,
you got a phone,
all god's children got a phone...

When I get to heaven, gonna dial my phone,
gonna talk all over god's heaven... heaven....

I got a plan,
you got a plan,
all god's children got a plan...

When I get to heavn, gonna upgrade my plan,
gonna talk all over god's heaven... heaven...

My apologies to Marion Anderson....

Can you all help me come up with addtional lyrics?
 
How I deal.........

.as i spend eight hours of my life each day being a cashier heres how I sometimes deal with the cell phone talkers in my line.....

so who you talking too.......

What are they like......

are you happy you married them....Going out........

your right lay into him.....

kids are stupid....I got rid of mine

Dogs are better...........

or anything to let them know I am listening and hangin on every word. Youd be surprised at the reactions it gets. Useually the user turns bright red and the phone goes away.

I once got reported to the boss for this. He laughed himself silly in front of the woman and asked her if she will be second thinking talking on the cell while dealing with his cashiers? She said she would never be back, he said Thank you.

Love your joke Whirlcool.........heres one

A china woman, a Japaneeze woman and a USA hillbilly woman from the backwoods of the south were in a sauna at a posh Beverly Hills resort

ring ring they heard, oh thats my new implanted cell phone said the China woman Ill just press my neck and take this call.

beep,beep they heard and the Jap woman said oh thats my new palm implanted cell Ill just press my palm and take this call.

The Hillbilly woman felt sad and depressed and went out to the ladies room to pee. While sitting down she comptemplated what will I do, What will I do I must not look inferior to these hot shot foreginers.

So eventually she went back into the saunna. Tha China woman said upon noticing toilet paper hanging from the Hillybilly womans ass what is that ,what you have hanging there? she squeeked.

so did the Jap woman, unbelieable said she and was disgusted by it.

Why! calmly explained the Hillbilly woman with sheer pride and joy I do believe I"s a fixin to get a fax!!!!!
 
Kind of on the same note

It seems like nowdays we have automatic washing machines, microwaves, cell phones, planes, trains and automobiles. Plus a number of other newer devices that are supposed to make our lives easier and to give us more time. But even though we have all these devices that give us more time, why the hell are people still in a hurry? Just something to think on.
 
Why are we all in a hurry?

Because in general we're a very productive country, and people have come to expect that everything will happen with lightning speed. There is both good and bad to this. I carry my cellphone with me virtually all the time, and my clients know I'll answer in the evening and on weekends. That's the level of service they expect even if they'd never say so outright. Fifteen years ago if a client decided he had an issue with a building he'd just wait until the next morning or after the weekend was over. Not today!
 
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