Detox/Rehab

[seeitrun2006]

My younger sister is an alcoholic. Bottm line! She drinks from the time she gets out of bed in the morning till she goes to bed at night. This has been going on and off for years. But now she is completely out of control. She just turned 50 October 1st. I called her at 10:00am to wish her a happy birthday and she was already hammered!

I am working with my "so called brother-in-law" to get her into rehab. She currently does not work. She's been on disablity since April due to knee surgery. She is covered in bruses where she has fallen several times. Plus they live in a house with stairs.

Alcoholism runs rampant on my dad's side of the family. He has a brother who has been in rehab numberous times in the past 20+ years. Luckily my Dad nor my Mom drinks. My sister told her husband she is so afraid to becoming like my Dad's alcoholic brother. But with this disease she can't quit on her own.

Any advice on how to approach my sister to get her to realize she's needs help? My other Uncle told us to take her to the ER while she's drunk and they would take care of transporting her to the Rehab center in Atlanta.

Between helping my Dad take care of my Mom who has dementia, getting my sister into rehab, plus working full time I am wearing then. Especially when I have two younger brothers who will not help do anything and live less then 45 minutes away! And let's don't take into account I also have a wife, dog and home I want to see and spend with every night.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent!

But if anyone is willing to share experiences I would greatly appreciate it. If you want to Email me privately my address is [email protected].

Peace and blessings!
David

 

[peterh770]

A friend of mine recently hit the bottle big time after his partner died. He and a couple friends went to NYC for vacation, and while there it became extremely apparent that an intervention was needed. The friends scrambled while there, and when they come back on this Friday, they are taking him directly from the airport to the ER, where his therapist will meet them and get him into rehab after checking for medical problems.

It is never easy to stage an intervention, especially if you think you can reason with the person under the influence, while they are blind to the problem when sober.

 

[iheartmaytag]

I sent you a private email

Let us know

 

[jeffg]

David, there are so many causes for alcoholism, unless someone knows your sister personally, all you're going to get from strangers is anecdotal experience and (probably) bad advice.

When substance abuse runs rampant in a family, there may be an underlying genetic cause for it: mild autism, neurosis/OCD, even psychosis and insanity can have genetic roots. If this is the case in your family, your sister must seek professional help. Even if it's not the case, professional intervention is the best/fastest way to find the cause of her problem.

Also, don't try and be all things to all people. The reality is, your sister is responsible for herself, and she has to want help to get it. Her own family (husband) should be her primary support, not you.

 

[seeitrun2006]

Sorry!

I can't sit on the side lines and watch my sister die a slow death due to alcoholism. I will work with her husband as much as I can to get her some help.

I know the gene is there. I have it also but thankfully I was able to give it up 22 years ago. I relied heavily on my faith and my wife to help me thru.

My sister has much deeper personal and emotional problems that will take a lot of therapy to get her thru this.

 

[a440]

Hello David,
Sorry that you are gong through so much.
Does your sister have insurance to cover private treatment?
If so, you can sign her over to the state, with no problem what so ever. Also, if she does not have insurance, she can be admitted into a state hospital. Her abuse to her body is considered suicidal in Georgia.
I was a Psychiatric nurse for about 7 years. I also worked in Detox.
About her bruises. This does not always mean that she is falling. It could also mean that her liver is failing from cirrhosis of the liver. That would be enough to get her committed.
If she is this far along, she really does not have much more time to get treatment.
Hate to be such a downer, but she does not have much time. It is not so much how much she has been drinking that everyone knows about, it is also, how long she was drinking like this, before anyone caught on.
I wish you all the best.
Brent

 

[xyz]

As a recovering alcoholic and prescription drug addict I can tell you it is hard to overcome it all by yourself. I did but most can't. I was addicted to about 10 milligrams daily of xanax along with at least a 5th of some sort of hard liquor (whatever was on sale). I didn't go to meeting, never thought it to be any help to me sitting in a room with a bunch of boo-hoos. I , at my last meeting, told them to always keep in mind that they had a problem but to hang out and talk about getting high or drunk was only going to cause them to have the cravings for the shit come back. At least the meetings made me crave. I never craved much at all till I was in a room full of listening allllllllllllll about dope and drink. I', sure it helps some but not me.

 

[toggleswitch2]

I had read that there are now serotnin replacement drugs that may stabilize or add this vital natural hormone/body chemical.

IIRC booze and drugs tends to affect (boost)this chemical'
s level and it's probably a portion of what is craved when one "Self-medicates"

With women it's all about the "mind-f***", so at least it may be easier to get her to understand that in HER situation it appears to have a genetic component, and thusly there may be less emotional or behavioural guilt on her part in seeking treatment.

Ancient bit of wisdom.

"Just the DESIRE to do something is half the battle." She has to want to.......... bottom line.

Best wishes in this difficult time.

 

[seeitrun2006]

Here's the plan for tomorrow

My brother-in-law called me today at 12:00 noon eastern time. He is ready to get my sister into the hospital. I will go to their house tomorrow around 12:00 noon and start talking to my sister and lay some ground work so she will hopefully come to realize she needs help.

I will then call the husband and have him come home then load her up and go to the ER. From what my brother-in-law has told me she told him last night she wants help but doesn't know how to get it. She said she is afraid of what the famliy will think of her. I told him to tell her no one will know what is happening tomorrow except me and the husband. Once she is in there I will then notify my family as too what's going on.

Please everyone pray, keep you fingers crossed, get out your luckly rabbit's foot, your magic wand what ever the case may be and hope we can make this happen tomorrow!

Thanks for all of your supportive responses!

You are all a great bunch to people!

David

 

[whitekingd]

May God Bless You for your efforts. It is a hard thing to deal with. My Mother died of liver failure from alchoholism at the age of 59 in 2005. Please continue your efforts and let us know how your sister is doing. Once again, Bless Your Heart!

 

[SactoTeddyBear]

Re: Hi! David:

From my past experiences with Relatives and Friends, who are/were Alcoholics, you and your Brother-In-Law have actually gotten the first step, with your Sister letting you know that she does want the help. You can't help an Alcoholic out, unless they come to you and ask for it.

I lost one of my favorite Aunts {Mothers Sister} in December 1963, from Alcoholism. She was only 51-years old and I was 13-years old. I felt that I was old enough to know what happened to her and it certainly taught me a lesson. My Mother Committed my Aunt to a State Hospital of that era of time. When she was able to be released, the Dr's told my Mother, if my Aunt ever went back to Drinking, she would only live approx 6-months. I don't remember how long it took her, but I'm thinking approx only 2 to 3 years after getting out of that Hospital and she did only live approx 6-months longer.

I do have to admit that I have gone out during my "Hay-Days" and I did get High a few times and I got Drunk once. I did find out fortunately in my mind, that at least I wasn't a terrible person, when I had too much to Drink, I actually get Silly acting and I've always been able to remember what happened the Night before, the next Day.

My Prayers and Blessings go out to all of you, good luck with seeking help for your Sister and Family members, in hopes of becoming supporters for her.

Peace, Blessings, Prayers and Friendship Hugs, Steve
SactoTeddyBear...

 

[seeitrun2006]

Update on my sister,

I got to her house yesterday at 11:00. I basically told her she needed help and I need my sister back as did our parents need their daughter back as well. I told her also she needed to do it for herself and not anyone else. She did admit to being very depressed. She agreed to go! I called her husband he showed up and we took her to Gwinnett Medical ER.

In triage the nurse ask her what she was there for. She kept waiting for me or the husband to answer. Finally she looked at the nurse and told her I’m an alcoholic and I need help. Blood work showed her blood alcohol was at 0.32. Their insurance allowed her to be admitted to Summit Ridge about three miles from GMC. She told me she was terrified! I kept reassuring her it will get better! Visiting hours are Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursdays from 7:00pm ~8:00pm.

This almost mirrors the movie with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia “When a man loves a Woman” with one exception they do not have small children. Her husband Steve is a fixer and soother. Just slap another band-aid on top of the other 500 and it will be better in the morning.

She is on the right track. I just hope she can stick with it after she comes home. After detox they will then start psychiatric counseling and meds to battle the depression.

Thank you very much for your Emails. You have given me a lot of insight as to what to expect! I am so exhausted and drained this morning. My mother had cataract surgery yesterday at GMC day surgery at 6:45am. Everything went well. I dropped my parents off at home at 10:30am. Had lunch and was at my sister’s at 12:00. I walked back in the door at home last night at 10:20pm.

Today I feel so blessed to have been a part of getting my sister’s life turned around. I know I can’t fix everyone’s problems but hopefully I have helped one. I don’t want any gold metals for anything I’ve done. But to get my sister back to living again is reward enough for me!

Peace and blessings to all!

David

 

[panthera]

David,

I think you've been strong and true. It's not easy to cope with this disease, especially in a society so choked with the false assumptions of self-determination and political correctness. She will continue to need your strength.
When a dear friend tried to off himself here and landed for nearly two years in the nut-house (he botched it, like everything else in his life), both his wife and close friends were offered counseling and support. It helped us tremendously. See what support you can find, over the coming months and years it will be useful.
Oh, and never once listen to the folks who tell you to mind your own business. You'll get to hear enough from that sort, too. A disease is not a choice.

 

[jamiel]

Be easy on yourself today and this weekend, you've been through a heckuva lot with all your GMC time yesterday.

 

[seeitrun2006]

Don't worry

I came home from work today at 1:00 and took a 2 and an a 1/2 hour nap. Could not function at work. Told the boss I wasn't feeling well and left. He's pretty good about things like that.

Nothing is planned for tomorrow either that I know of. Maybe the wife and I will go out to eat and that might be about it.

I will go down and visit my sister Sunday night. Visiting hours is ony from 7:00~8:00pm. But I will call her first to see if she wants me there. Sunday will be her 3rd day into detox so she may be mad as hell at me. I'll just have to wait and see.

 

[toggleswitch2]

I'd go anyway...very important for women to feel cared-about and part of a loving "community/family"


Of course it won't hurt to throw in an "I love you, and I admire you for your strength in all that you are going through", either.


As always, best wishes!

-Steve

 

[iheartmaytag]

Of course it won't hurt to throw in an I love you and ad

Very good advice. It takes a lot of strenght to admit that there is a problem. You sister has taken that first step, she will need all her strength and yours to continue on this new path.

I promise it won't be too far in the future you sister will be helping others to find sobriety. Please be aware that our prayers are with you.

 

[petek]

I just got back from an exhausting week and read this a bit quickly and didn't see anyone mentioning Al-Anon for the family and friends of alchoholics. I strongly urge you to go see them and they will teach you how to cope and what to do and what not to do. Sometimes you have to walk away and let them crash more than once before things get better.

 

[seeitrun2006]

Update on my sister

I went with my brother in law to see my sister at the detox center last night. You could tell she was on phenobarbertol pretty heavenly to control the withdrawal. Yesterday she had been without alcohol for 48 hours. She was not mad in fact she seemed a bit grateful to be there. When visiting hours were over we told her loved her and how proud we are of her, many hugs and she was ready to go back to her room. She did not beg for us to get her out of there.

The case worker is concerned there is some brain damage. I think the term used is "alcohol dementia". She is having problems processing conversations when she is being talked too.

Her husband is singing her up for a 12 step program once detox is over Tuesday.

I will update more tomorrow.