Doctors never laugh (funny)

[animasinsulinpu]

The doctor replied, "of course I won't laugh at you, I'm a doctor. In over 20 yrs. I have never laughed at a patient". Ok, then, Bob said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revieling the TINIEST 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing uncontrolably. Ten minutes later, after peeing himself, he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm soooooo sorry" said the doctor. I don't know what came over me. On my honor, and as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what is the problem? It's SWOLLEN, Bob said.......Bill in Az......

 

[toggleswitch2]

As the snap of the rubber glove resonates through the air...

During an exam of one's prostate, one is tempted to say:

1- Don't I at least get dinner and a movie first?

2- Is this the point where I fein discomfort?

3-Ok now it's MY turn............drop 'em.

 

[paulg]

Waitin' for the day.

Haven't had THAT exam yet, but here's my zingers...

1) ONE FINGER? You can do better than that!
2) I'm in love with you...ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh....
3) (Clamp down on his finger and say) "Treat me nice or I'm not giving your finger back!

 

[whirlcool]

I had a pretty major car accident back in the mid 90's and ended up in a hospital emergency room (severe stomach cramps after the wreck which turned out to come from the seat belt).
I must have seen 3 or 4 different doctors and they each wanted to do a prostate exam. By the time doctor number three came in I told him that I was tired of this and can't they just tell each other what the result was. He said no, he has to do this one himself. I was in no mood for this with my stomach hurting like hell, but he insisted. I finally told him "I think this must be your favorite thing to do to male patients". He became rather unhinged, and grabbed me rather violently by the arm and told me "This is NOT my favorite thing to do, it's a necessary test procedure". He then told me that he has never seen a patient so resistant. He said some guys actually like it!

 

[toggleswitch2]

*LOL* 3 or 4 in one session?

You SLUT!

(ducks and runs..........)

 

[iheartmaytag]

He became rather unhinged, and grabbed me rather violently

That's when I would have probably said "This is no longer an exam, now it's assault." That treatment was uncalled for to act like that. He should have explained that they were checking for internal bleeding and that the pressure would in the abdomen could be felt through the rectal exam. Of course an ultrasound would have given him the same information without the intrusion.

There was recently a case where a man had been brought into a local hospital with a head injury from a fall. The doctor wanted to do a rectal, and he refused. The doctor stating that the patient was in an altered state had three people hold the man while he did the exam. The man filed rape charges against the doctor and the accomplices.

 

[sudsmaster]

Good Lord

I've been in plenty of accident/ER situations (riding a motorcycle for years will do that) and I have never had a doctor even hint that a rectal exam would be of any help. I suppose it could be indicated in a gastric problem, but still...

 

[spiceman1957]

Enough is Enough

Whirlcool,
You had every right in the world to refused to let this doctor touch you. This was abuse plan and simple (both verbal and physical). This was obviously a teaching hospital. He should have been reported right away. I am a nurse and if I had be present I would have. By the way,was he name "House" ? lol

 

[whirlcool]

Actually there were no nurses present. When you are in a hospital and a doctor tells you he needs to do a test, you usually go along with it. I am normally very cooperative. I didn't have the frame of mind to think about complaining at the time. I just wanted to get diagnosed, treated and get the hell out of there!