Friday Funny--Doctor Patient Relationships

[iheartmaytag]

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty
all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he
just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were
overwhelming.





But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring
voice in his head that said, 'Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the
first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their
patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let
it go, Dave.'





But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back
to reality whispering:





Dave...............You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard

 

[iheartmaytag]

Boy, and I thought you people were as sick as I am.

Here's another

The Official Agriculture Department Inspector was visiting a farm.

The farmer took the inspector out to the dairy barn, where he walks up to the first cow in a long line, and said "Mooo-ooooo-oooo?" "Mooooooo,ooo,ooo!" replied the cow. The inspector turned to the farmer and said, "You really have to milk these cows on a regular schedule. Sometimes you're late, and you know it's really bad for them." The farmer raised his eyebrows and said, "Uh, OK."

Next they go to the chicken house. The inspector walks up to the rooster and cackles at him, and the rooster cackles back. "Well," says the inspector, "these chickens are pretty healthy, but you need to nail up that little hole in the back, or a weasel might get in." The farmer gives him a funny look, but he goes around to the back of the chicken house, and sure enough, there's a small hole the right size for a weasel.

On they go, to the pig pen. The inspector walks up to the prize sow and says, "Oink?" The pig replies, "Oooink!" The inspector turns to the farmer and says, "These pigs are pretty healthy, but you should know that there's a sharp piece of metal down under the mud in the corner of the pen, and it could hurt one of those pigs." The farmer digs down under the mud and finds a sharp piece of metal underneath. "That's amazing!" he says.

"Well, says the inspector, "that takes care of the cows, chickens and pigs. Now let's go and see your sheep."

At this, the farmer begins to sweat and look very worried.

"You know," he says to the inspector, "sheep lie!"

 

[panthera]

Hey, Iheartmaytag

I'm from Fort Collins, remember? Had to ask a friend to explain to me what the point of the joke was. Still didn't get it 'till he patiently pointed out that in most places, people don't do it with their animals.

Remember our state motto: Where men are men and sheep are afraid.

 

[dj-gabriele]

Hahahaha

The second one was most funny! I'm going to tell it around!

 

[iheartmaytag]

Panthera,
I understand, and remind me to keep Flffy away from Ft. Coillins. (giggle)

My newphew is a Vet, so I had to sent those to him.

 

[panthera]

No good,

we'll just hop in our magic flying balloons and land in your fields.
There is a scene they cut from Latter Days in which Christian asks Aaron if never, ever also includes farm animals...

 

[hunter]

ARGH!

That whole balloon thing...that guy is NUTS.

Not only that but a 911 call from the house, and the Mrs. appearing bruised...it points to something bad.

The man's a wingnut and I'm not sure about the rest of them either.