I'm gonna go take my Nerve medicine now...
I imagine you probably could have used that a while back when some of us were acting up ... ;-)
BTW, I wouldn't even open those bottles of vintage Lysol. Older formulations of Lysol contained phenol, also known as carbolic acid or phenolic acid. Phenol is toxic (was used by the Nazis to euthanize people by injection) and is deadly to cats (they can get poisoned just by walking on a surface washed with a carbolic acid containing disinfectant).
I gather that modern Lysol products do not contain phenol. Apparently the disinfecting spray is mostly ethanol, with a touch of ammonium based disinfectant (as in quaternary ammonium compound). Rubbing alcohol probably would do just as well.