Further Words For Middle Age Dating

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michaelman2

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Apr 25, 2005
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Just a quick piece of learned wisdom for dating. Always listen to your gut. Some call it "gut instinct" some call it intuition.....it's the same. I am recently out of a 6 year relationship that had more ups and downs than an elevator. Bottom line it started with less than the truth, and it has been ending ever since. Had I listened to that inner voice and not worried that I would "be single forever", I would have chosen not to enter the union. I had been single for years and was turing 40 and made a choice that prevented me for 6 years of finding someone that would be kind and loving. Don't let impulse or fear move you into something that will be less than what you may want.
 
Great words!

I really like what Michaelman2 has written! Especially "Dont let impulse or fear move you into something that will be less than what you may want". I have been single now for 6 years and really like being by myself until the right guy comes along. It is not easy being single in a couples world and I for one am not one who runs in gay world. I know it will happen and keep my mind open to the day when someone will re-enter into my life.
 
That is excellent advice....basically, don't be so desperate that you enter a dysfunctional relationship just for the sake of not being alone. I like it. Thanks again, guys!
 
Thanks Christopher and Ralph. Lord knows that I wanted the situation to "work" but for the life of me ( and I use that word in every sense of it) I could not make the relationship work. I have really been down and feeling like a failure. I had to reflect on how the relationship started and how I felt in my gut at the time. There was something trafe (not kosher) that I kept letting my need to be loved, override. God knows I was almost "loved" to death. This go around I will be much more specific in my quest. I too feel like a fish out of water when it comes to dating. The clubs just don't hold my interest. I volunteer in the community but my hunch is that this community is not the one for a potential mate. So do I move? I guess time will tell.
 
Funny!

I have at times thought that I should move. From what I can tell, it is like this in every town. As the saying goes " There is a lot of mediocre in the world but not a lot of wonderful" This goes for everything from people to places to things, including washers and dryers :)!
 
Christopher, is the BS West still in Scottsdale? I was there during a business trip many years ago, and it was one of the hottest & friendliest crowds I've ever come across.

As for Atlanta, never been, but everyone I know who lives or visits there also has mentioned the size and friendiness of its gay scene.
 
Breadsticks West?
Lawd have mussy. What a flash-back!

Breadsticks ("East") was right here in my city in Forest Hills, (Queens County) New York. Just a few block from my residence. It was a fabulous neighborhood bar (read: lovable dive) where one went on weekends and 2-4-1 night during the week. The place was affecionately known as "Dead-**cks" and "Old-tricks". O-M-G!

Twinks, trolls, alcoholics, they had it ALL. oh yeah and a pool-table and a DJ as well as live shows!

A friend of mine went in there, pointed, said out- loud "You, you'll do; come here." and got himself a date!

*SIGH* Those were the days!
 
Sometimes he may not be "Mr. Right" but just "Mr. Comfortable" or "Mr. Workable," and that's really OK too. I consider "Mr. Right" to be the exception. Nobody's perfect, and that's something we need to realize when we're entering into a relationship. More often than not, relationships are a case of the pros outweighing the cons.

More than once over the past 24 years I've wondered if maybe I'm compromising too much. I think about being single again and I have to ask myself if that's really what I'd want. It's a tough call sometimes when I feel like I'd really prefer not to answer to anybody but myself, but then I come around and recognize the positives about a relationship, and that only having to answer to one's self can be a slippery slope.

It's important to recognize if a man has the potential to make you a better person. You're both in it to use the other and to take advantage of what you each have to offer. Just keep in mind that it needs to be 50/50 or damned close to it, or somebody's going to end up feeling unhappy and/or unfulfilled and ultimately the need to walk away, maybe for a breather, maybe forever.

Ralph
 
Ralph is kinda right......

the fantasy IS reality for me....last month just celebrated 20 years...we have 2 adopted children (twins, boy and a girl), and foster 3 siblings right now, which we may adopt also, 10 would be my limit if allowed, we have a 7 bedroom house, I'm having the best time of my life and it keeps getting better, I really wish you guys could feel this, some day you will, it will happen when your not looking for it, also if you have to argue, do it NAKED!...

I always wanted an older guy, don't ever feel because your older thats no one wants you, you have knowedge and experience and know what you want, younger guys like me are out there looking for you, trust me, my guy is only 4 years my senior, not only is he a hot daddy, his maturity level when we met was so much higher than the twinks that were out there...when I was about 19 I had a hot construction worker in his late 40's show me the ropes of pleasing a man and a chance to really practice on levels you can't imagine...and the mature guys need to show the younger generation how its done.....Ralph knows of me and my guy, and seen a few pics, Ralph is another one of those guys who knows EQUAL treatment brings major satisfaction, him as well as my guy are unique individuals who can "READ" peoples signs and emotions and RESPOND!...and I know how to react back..it's never one sided..more fun for both..and dont be in a rush...and that makes ALL the difference in the world...

email me if you need to know more!
 
for those who want to know, this is me in the pic, a B-day party for the kids, my guy is 6 foot 4 and 1/2 inches tall(yes he has to add the 1/2) 250lbs, a size 14 shoe, he has to do everything big, house, truck, although I'm about half his size, go figure, but anyway the party was a full circus, big top tent, clowns, acrobats, face painting/tattoos, snow cones and coton candy, and of coarse petting zoo, the elephant is one truck by himself lol, 250 screaming kids, and you know I had to test out the air bouncers first, lol, but the costume was fun to wear for the day, and all thru the night, ever wanted to "PLAY" with a superhero?....don't let your age get you down, I maybe 45, but can still have the fun of a 25 year old...recapture some fun once in a while...you guys can still "moonwalk" can't ya?....show the young folks how it's done.....

but always make it a 50/50 unconditional love relationship, almost doesn't count, just relax, it will happen!...you have alot of years ahead of you, If I wasn't partnered, Ralph would be cryng uncle, am I right Ralph?...lol
 
Marriage means alot of give and take..............

Actually as the priest who performed the ceremony to marry my cousin and his wife said......50/50?

You both have to give 100%
 

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