Old People and How family treats them.. Makes me sick

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Mines name in Cindi (used to be Cody).. Saw ?(him) again tonight.. All 6ft 3" and 290 lbs of him in heels and a red dress and pumps with his friend Larry... He was sooo happy to show me his prostetic bra...

But he's not going through the change, he just rather wear womens clothing and have a womens name and wear make up and be a man with a man.. Go figure
 
What?

Hes me screw ball ex... Hes the one who came running up to me in wal mart in a dress and high heels the last time i saw him in front of a bunch of people i knew...
Ughhh
 
Ok, I don't mean to laugh at your dismay, but that's absolutely friggin' hysterical....6'3", 290 lbs...in a red dress?? Did he have 5 o'clock shadow at the time??
 
Nope, he had it removed (then again so am i, but not for those reasons, i just hate shaving)... I keep seeing him and (as bad as this sounds) wish he'd dissapear again.... Arghhh.... He was at the grocery store tonight and i managed to dodge him
 
What WAS she thinking?

An ex (not the latest) got fired from a VERY corporate job at Citicorp/Citibank, for bringing in mutiple pair of earrings and a gown and asking which ones worked better with the outfit.

Silly faggot. They depend on YOU for good taste in such important earth-shattering matters. If you are lacking that, what are you good for? Baseball statistics? *LOL*
 
Hun,

I have no taste for womens cloths... At all... I did find out his current partner Larry, helps him dress at the local dress barn place and walmart and one other store.. Ok...Go Larry, whom ever you are

Grams saw him tonight and she just about fell over... She couldn't believe it... She thought he was so handsome...
 
The elderly

I feel that taking care of our elders is just plain the right thing to do. And, yes, I agree that there are certain situations that require a stay in the nursing home too. But, I feel that this should be the last resort. I live in a very small town in eastern Kentucky (in the mountains) and the folks down here keep their elderly right at home with them. Always. It's a bit like Mayberry around here with a big dose of the Darlin family thrown in for good measure. Big trucks, four wheelers, and gun racks everywhere. Large families all living in the same holler. Jeff Foxworthy isn't lying, that's for sure. Having grown up in St. Louis, it was QUITE the culture shock when we moved here 23 years ago! But, they do take care of their own!
 
exploder321

your hearts in the right place because you have a good heart for your family and care for them im glad to hear you say that im the same way i value my family no matter what and im glad to see so many positive responses.
 
Thanks..

They might get on my last nerve
They might loose there mind
They might even for a moment scream at me

But i still love em... They still need my help
 
Dad, you have captured some really good examples of why some elderly people are better off somewhere besides their own home. I've posted a couple of long-winded accounts of my situation with my 92 year old mom. A year ago she was considering an assisted living situation but since then she's had a mild stroke and isn't thinking right anymore. She's stubborn about staying in her own home to the end.

As I stated on the Maytag thread, she needs care 24/7 and that is costing $2K a week to provide. The house is being hocked to cover this but now that it's winter she has the heat blasting, says she's cold when it's nearly 80 in the house, and her gas bill is going to be huge--she has high ceilings and no insulation. She's on a fixed income and can't afford to be doing what she's doing. Instead of living comfortably in a facility, she is going to end up broke and unable to afford anything but whatever the state can provide and we all know that's likely to be inferior care, but this is where she's headed. Once this last batch of equity money runs out, she won't be able to afford the interest payments on it and the house will have to be sold in order to come up with any money to cover her care, and that means she's out on her a$$ one way or the other.

She can't be reasoned with anymore. She's not thinking logically anymore. It took an hour to have her sign her name 8 times for the new equity line of credit. At this point I have no choice but to get the POA going. She can't act on her own behalf anymore. Once I get POA I'm sure my sister will push me to end this nonsense and put my mom where she belongs and where she will get better care than she is currently. These care givers don't even do light cleaning. Mom's 1949 Westinghouse stove is getting crusty and I have to take burners apart and clean them myself. The sewer pipes clog because these people throw everything down the disposer and the 80 year old pipes weren't designed for that. I could close up that house today if she were in a home, run every light in the house 24/7 and crank up the heat, still pay the gardner and the homeowners insurance every month, and the cost of her care and maintaining the house would be a fraction of what it's costing now to keep here in there.

Honestly, I am burnt out on this whole situation and can't stop thinking about the fact that she's going broke very fast. It's very difficult adapting to my mom's inability to be relied on for anything. Up until last May when she had her mild stroke, she was so in control and sharp as a tack so that's what I've become accustomed to over the last 50 years. It's hard to undo that and I still find myself thinking she can deal with a plumber or whatever when she really can't. The help is no better. I just want to be relieved of the worry that goes along with her in-home care situation. It's taking its toll on me and she'd be happier somewhere else. All she does is lie on the couch all day. She's too weak to get around but she won't give in to the fact that she's basically non-ambulatory at this point, nearly bedridden, but she chooses to be couch-ridden instead as a form of denial, something she has always been good at. I just can't stand the money that's being thrown away for inferior care. A more professional care-giving environment would be a fraction of the current cost and she'd be happier in the long run since all of her friends have died off and she has very few visitors or phone calls anymore. She's always been sociable and eager to talk with strangers so I know she'd do well in a place where she had others to interact with. I can't bring myself to force her to do this, but I'm going to start campaigning for it with her because it really is the best thing. Otherwise she can plan on being destitute and taking whatever care-giving environment the state mandates for her. To me the choice is easy, but there's no way to ever make her understand how dire her financial situation has become. I'm frustrated and stressed out and I would really like some relief--in the form of an assisted living situation that she will like and, relatively speaking, would be easily affordable for her. At this point, keeping her in her own home is the worst possible scenario.

Ralph
 
Ralph, that's why people use POAs. What many people, of all ages, want and what is best for them are often two different things and if we can't make them see that, then we have to take a more unilateral approach to save them from themselves. Just as children have to be guided and protected, so too, do those who have become childlike in their advanced years. We will never be right, in their thinking, for what we did to them by moving them out of their homes, but we will be able to live with the knowledge that we did our best to try to keep them safe and well cared for in spite of the constant stream of complaints we hear about everything and how we are responsible for every bad bit of it. After we have chosen the nicest & safest place for them to live with money being no object and all kinds of activities and facilities available on site, if they won't come out of their apartment to take advantage of any of it and refuse to make any friends, is it our fault or the fault of their new residence when they have always been this way? The only bright spot in all of it is that we are not children anymore. When the tone turns ugly, we can say, "I love you and hope we can talk when you are in a better mood. Love you. Good Bye."

Question: Why can a mother raise 10 children, but 10 children cannot take care of one mother?
Answer: Because her children had to obey her, but she does not have to obey them.
 
Ralph,

I feel for you. My parents are much younger, but the car accident last year left them with periods where they are clear - and others where they aren't.
My brother is fighting me wherever he can - he's a Christian and since I'm gay, that means I must always be wrong.
So far, all he has succeeded in doing was to cost us somewhat over a million of insurance money we were entitled to and made my parents so distrustful of me that we now have the situation in which, when a decision has to be made quickly, I can no longer make it.
The two specialists, the family lawyer, the family doctor all say the same thing. I agree with them. But since I am gay and my brother is a dutiful little Christian, the scary opinions of the doctors don't count and my opinion is obviously wrong.
So now we have two people who forget things like turning off the stove and locking the doors (not a high crime area, but bad enough), running the battery down on the car (I got one with automatic lights. My brother said they were an attempt to make decisions for my parents, so they always turn them on by hand to "prove" their independence...and forget to turn them off in the garage...) and on and on and on. No rails on the stairs to replace the weak old thing wooden runners...no grab bars in the bathtub...the water heater runs at 140° which means second degree burns in 2 seconds...'cause I suggested a second one at 110° for bathing...but that is me trying to take control of everything...
I go from day to day hoping against hope that there will be no disaster...but thanks to my brother's interference, the medications they take and their injuries, we have a stubbornness and paranoia problem which is just awful.
After my dad's heart attack in the 90's, they gave me a limited POA to take care of emergencies. Thanks to my darling brother, that has now been canceled -so my "homosexual lifestyle" does not affect decisions over their welfare.
It is frightening.
Any ideas, guys and gals?
 
"Sometimes, Dolores, an accident can be an unhappy woman's best friend."

"Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto."

" Now, you listen to me, Mr. Grand High Poobah of Upper Buttcrack, I'm just about half-past give a sh-t with your fun and games." and to this add, it's time we thought of mom & dad first.....

Well obviously as a homosexual you have ablolutely no merit on this earth and are lucky "we let you live".

Ok now on a serious note:

Sir, I am afraid the only thing you can do is light a candle and pray that the highest and best good comes of this. Unfortunately we must early-on acknowledge our powerlessness in such issues and let go of control.

To fight the holy-roller egotist that occupied the same womb as you did will just waste a huge amount of time money and energy.

I honestly wish I had some good advice to give and some brilliant way to resolve this. But the only thing I can muster-up to say is conserve your energy and resourses and keep self-preservation in mind. Push comes to shove if you don't look out for you, who will?

May the universe grant you the strength necessary to come out of this unscathed, the patience to forgive, forget and overlook, yet still provide you with a way of showing love to your family, even if they dont return the emotion.

I ask that Mother Mary protect and guide you under her cloak now and forever and through the ages of ages. Amen.

en.wikipedia.org

Dolores Claiborne - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 

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