R.I.P. Max – our brave little dog (27th October 1993 to 5th September 2007)

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carlstock

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Sep 19, 2006
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Hi. :-)

I know this is a very long post, so please bear with me and perhaps read it over a day or so, and I know much of it is personal. Also, for those affected by bereavement or other incidences where loved one’s lives have been in peril, I do no wish to diminish or insult your experiences – I know what it is like to lose relatives that I have been very close to (my maternal grandmother being like a second mother to me, for example), though I fortunately do still have my parents and sister.

This message may seem overemotional at times, and I am indeed emotional at the moment. However, this is what I really believe – these are things we have all felt over the years about Max.

Our Cavalier King Charles/Yorkshire terrier cross, Max, passed away on Wednesday after having a very severe stroke. He was 13 (14 in October).

As I said earlier, I know what it is like to lose relatives and friends at a moment’s notice, either being able to say goodbye or not at all, but this does not feel any different to me personally.

This is all about Max, not me, but I cannot believe he’s gone. :-( We knew it would happen one day, and we always dreaded it. I am hurting so much :-(, but my only concern was and is for him. :-( We looked after him while he was not well, but we couldn’t make him better. :-( It really does hurt so much, and I couldn’t bear to see him suffer. :-( We are comforting each other, but I would do anything to be able to cuddle Max again. :-( I know I told him how much we love(d) him before he went, and we always used to tell him so anyway, but I… I miss him and his company so much. :-( He was our little baby, and words cannot describe how much he meant to us. :-(

Strangely perhaps, we spent the past two or three years trying to be extra nice to him in case he should pass away. However, in any case, we always loved him. I had know him since I was 14, and I’m 28 now! :-) It was so long ago that I was not disabled then, and I would sometimes sit with him and talk to him about how things used to be for him and I, and how I used to be. I know this may sound silly, but he was the closest thing to a little brother I had. He was a friend, too. When I did became chronically sick in 1994, he stayed with me when my friends didn’t (although I did get some of my friends back 10 years later), and he would lie down with me when I wasn’t well. When his food was being served, he didn’t rush to it – he carried on resting with me. During subsequent relapses, he would stay with me – he was not simply taking advantage of the situation. :-)

Funnily enough, Cavalier King Charles spaniels were often ‘prescribed’ by doctors to one of England’s kings of the same name when poorly! :-) Well, I certainly am not a king, but the name “Carl” with a “C” comes from the English name “Charles”, and Max was half Cavalier King Charles spaniel so… :-)

We had him for so long that I was still at school aged 14, my sister was at primary (elementary) school and things like the Internet were known only to a select few! :-) How times have changed! :-) Partly thanks to technology, which is one of my loves, we have photos and video clips of Max in digital form that should technically last forever. :-)

I just wanted to put something on here as one way of remembering him. I (we) miss him terribly, and although he was getting on, he was an intelligent, sprightly and spirited dog to the very end. In the middle of the stroke, he even picked up a bit and barked at me several times, requesting a bite to eat! Unfortunately, this apparent respite only lasted a few minutes, and he continued to deteriorate. Even so, we were going to take him to the veterinary surgeon to be looked at because of the sudden onset of the stroke, which of course came on without warning – we were not going to leave him to see how things went.

Mum and I looked after Max while Dad rushed home to get him to the veterinary surgeon. I didn’t want to be overbearing with Max, so I did give him quiet time at well – I didn’t get upset or alarm him when I was trying to comfort after him.

Dad was already on his way home – we had called him at work within moments of Max walking into the room, looking rather wobbly. We knew immediately what had happened. His health was good for a dog of his age, although he had his niggling problems that we and the veterinary surgeon had been treating successfully for years. However, none of those problems were life-threatening.

I kissed Max goodbye in the same place I said hello to him one winter’s day in 1993 – in the hall, by the front door. I’m afraid my British stiff upper lip had to go, so I told him how much I loved him and that we wouldn’t ever leave him. One thing happened to me that is possibly the most touching thing that has ever happened to me – he put his paw on my chest when saying goodbye and kept it there when I got upset, which left me speechless, breaking down into more tears. I kissed him goodbye from my sister (who was at work in London at the time, which is quite a distance) and I. But, as I have just said, we were saying goodbye but that it wasn’t really goodbye because we would never leave him.

I cried and cried when Max was taken, and I prayed that he would be able to come back to us healthy again, but I also prayed that if he couldn’t, I wanted him to be put to sleep peacefully with Mum and Dad with him. The latter happened, and Mum said it was so comforting. Mum admits to not being a major lover of dogs, but she would never harm one at all or want one to suffer. Moreover, she is rightfully repulsed at those who abuse animals, believing in long prison sentences for those who do. Before Max was put to sleep, Mum and Dad comforted him, with Mum having comforted Max all the way in the car on the way there. Strangely enough, the car they took him in is called a Ford C-MAX – a small people carrier vehicle (a large car in essence). They left the air conditioning on for him, but not so high that the extra noise might scare him. I picked this vehicle for its special anti-allergy interior and excellent ride quality, and I feel so pleased that he went in that car. :-) Thankfully, Max did stabilise somewhat on the way there – we had sat outside with him in the fresh air for a while – but he needed to get to the veterinary surgeon quickly for examination and treatment.

We had already telephoned ahead to let them know what was wrong with Max. Surprisingly, our veterinary surgeon stayed on after his shift to see Max, which my parents did not know about until they arrived. That was comforting, as he had treated Max for years. We were initially told the surgeon was on his way home, but he stayed behind for Max.

With Mum, Dad and the nurses already comforting Max, who had by then been sedated but still aware, with Mum and Dad facing Max straight on so he could see them, he was put to sleep by the surgeon who had treated him for a decade or so.

I am close to tears writing this – my nose and throat are blocked! – and I have cried every day since. My Dad has cried, which is something I have never seen before. My Mum has been crying every day, as have I. As for my sister, with her being in London and not due to come home until the next day, she is deeply upset of course. If she could have, she would have come straight home, but she could not.

I cannot begin to explain the huge impact this little dog has had on us. We always knew it would be so difficult when it came to him leaving us, but we never, ever knew it would be this difficult. Our home really became a different place when Max came to us in a cream-coloured coat on a dark winter’s night in late 1993. Max left the house on Wednesday afternoon in a cream-coloured towel. :-( We didn’t even know if Mum and Dad would come back with a puppy – they had simply gone to “have a look”. He was so small that I couldn’t even see him, a virtually black-coated dog at the time, buried in this coat hood. What I had looking back at me once I had found him was this tiny dog with huge brown eyes staring back at me! :-)

I was the first to see him. “Hello there!” I said, very quietly. From that moment on, without a single break, Max changed our lives. I really would wake up in the mornings with a smile, realising we had Max. :-) This is something I would often mention, not something I have just thought of. :-) We all went through so much together – taking Max out, staying in with Max sitting with us, visiting relatives with Max, going for walks (often very long ones!), going out for a ride on the car (which he loved! :-)). We really did not spoil him – we just often involved him in what we were doing. :-) At other times, he would be quite happy having a little sleep in the corner. :-) When it came to going in the car, it was, “Max… Do you want to go ‘ridies’ in the car?” (Yes, we used to say “ridies”! :-)) His face lit up with excitement, and he’d start squealing, making his way to the front door to get ready! :-) Even if it was just to get some petrol (gas) for the car, he’d be there ready! :-) We didn’t even need to get him excited – just saying “ridies” in a somewhat flat tone was enough to get him going! :-)

There are countless other memories – Max being in the car when I was picked up from school (he’d shake with excitement when he spotted me in the crowd of children dressed in the same uniform!); getting excited when picking me up from the same school when I worked there (he’d get excited then!); playing with cats (he *loved* cats and didn’t want to eat them! hehe :-)); getting excited over beef being cooked (his favourite!); and going for walks with the others, meeting other dogs and playing with children (he loved them!). :-) Finally, in his later years, when he had more difficult walking long distances, he would sit on my lap with me in my wheelchair! :-) He absolute Ely loved that and would spend half of his walk with me and then have a little walk around himself. Once he had had enough, he would get back into the wheelchair with me, looking at the scenery! :-) He did this up until left us on Wednesday.

Our house has been returned to how it was in 1993, which is a very strange feeling. Max would be quite happy having a little sleep, and he would come into the living room for some attention when he was ready, but just knowing he was there was reassuring. I know things will ease in time, but we can’t ever forget him – he really was a unique dog. :-)

A special thank you to those here who have spoken to me about Max – thank you. :-) I greatly appreciate your support, and I know some of you have had similar experiences. Such is the fragility of all life – human or animal – and I think we often forgot that, but that is often entirely natural because we are enjoying life itself. Indeed, when we have had so much fun with family, friends, pets and hobbies, we live for the moment – and that’s how it should be. However, the time comes at some stage, often unexpectedly, that some people may leave us. When that comes, it is never easy, but I guess the only to ease this, if ever possible, is to tell people you love or like that you *do* indeed love or like them – every day.

Well, it’s getting dark here in the UK now – another day without Max, but we know he’s not far away. :-)

All that’s left to say is that I cannot even begin to say how very proud we are of Max – our brave little dog who shamed us with his bravery and spirit. So, here’s to you, Max – thank you for all the fun we had xx – I hope you enjoyed it all, because I know we did. :-) You are still with us and always will be – we won’t forget about you. xx :-) Rest in peace, little man. xx :-)

Carl :-)
x

PS The photo is of Max in our living room. :-) That’s his bed at the top of the photo, although he only used it a few times! :-) It soon stored his toys, which included a UK Persil liquid dosing ball on a thin piece of rope that he liked! hehe :-)

PPS acerone, it has been kindly brought to my attention by another member, one of my friends here, that you have suffered a similar loss. :-( I am so sorry, and my best wishes go to you. :-( I shall respond very soon. :-)

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carlstock, as I told acerone, those who have been down this road understand how you're feeling.

Hang in there. We understand.
 
Hi Carl,
Sorry about your loss of your beautiful little dog!
Hang in there, it will get better day by day.
It is hard to say good - bye to a living thing that loves you so much, and is always there for you no matter what.
Brent
 
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, Carl.

There is no friend so constant, so free from judgement, or so glad for your companionship as a dog.

I've adopted all but one of my dogs when they were adults, so I've seen five of them pass on so far. They've made my life immesurably better, and I've done my part to return the love they gave.

Nothing can be done to avoid the pain of their passing, but that pain can't begin to compare to the joy that they've brought.

-kevin
 
Oh, I am SO

sorry.

Max was so good looking.

Yes, even though I currently have cats, I can speak to the tender care our pets take of US!

Thank you for letting us, your international appliance family know.

Lawrence/Maytagbear
 
So sorry Carl!

I am so sorry to hear this. Dogs make your life so happy and fun. It's hard to not see them where you think they will be or to alter your regular routine since they are not there anymore.
But, since they bring so much joy to your life, you need to welcome another doggie into your life when you are ready (only when you are ready, not when someone else tells you that you are ready). It will make you think of all the good times that you had with Max and will help heal.
Heather
 
What a Gentleman, that Max

Perking up a bit, barking and giving you a bite in the middle of his stroke. "Well, get on with it , can't you see I need
a snack!! " Made it quite clear, didn't he? He had a fine life with you; he'll be waiting on you for more snacks , think
of his favorites!
 
Hi. :-)

Thank you very, very much for all your nice comments. :-) I really do appreciate them. :-)

I am particularly sad to hear of others¡¦ losses, as well as just how upset many of you have felt - and still do - after losing a beloved pet. :-( I like to think there's always more to learn about people - including pets! :-) - and things. However, from my experience with Max, we vastly underestimated how much getting him, having him and losing him would mean to us! :-) That's both a good and a bad thing, and I would actually say Max has been a bigger thing - positive one! - for me than becoming disabled in 1994.

When we got Max, we wanted to show people how lovely he was; when I did well at school, he'd be even happier than usual to see me (they pick up on these things :-)); when I felt sad, or didn't feel well, he would lie down with me or at least look forlorn; when I became disabled, he spent even more time with me, so I got to see him at home when I was meant to be at school (hehe! :-)); when we went through terrible times with my health, all Mum and Dad would have to say to try to calm me down where possible was, "Carl, look at Max. He's really worried about you," and there would Max would be, looking rather concerned.

When Max was worried, he would sit in complete silence, about two or three feet away, looking at me with a cool air, so while we may have been losing our heads because my condition became almost unmanageable at times, he would offer us all a sensible pointer. I'd stop crying, still feeling as poorly, but he would help. He would then walk over and whine very quietly, giving me a kiss and then lying down with me for hours, while I fell asleep from exhaustion. He would still be there when I woke up several hours later, his dinner made some time ago sitting in the kitchen.

I like your comments, frontaloadotmy, about Max! hehe :-) That pretty much summed Max up at times in his life, as well as how he was during a brief break in the stroke. :-)

We'll certainly miss Max, but we know he isn't really very far away. :-)

All of yours and others' support has made a great deal of difference - thank you :-) - but I am glad this has been primarily about Max and all of our pets on AW.org and elsewhere. :-)

Here's to our pets and other animals! :-)

Take care, and thank you again. :-)

Regards,

Carl :-)
x

PS Here are Max and I in mid-2000 or so. :-) I was 21 and Max was 6 (coming up to 7). Max was helping me on the computer, and he was actually sitting up in the photos, as you can see his back legs at the front, too! hehe :-) He looks quite serious here, but he was concentrating after all! hehe :-) He¡¦d sometimes sit with me and others when we were on the computer, and this is how he¡¦d sit with me in my wheelchair for walks. :-)

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And another, with me looking at the camera and Max probably thinking, "Huh! I thought these photos were meant to be of me!" ;-) hehe :-)

9-16-2007-05-49-51--carlstock.jpg
 
Carl, my sympathy for your loss, also. My story begins with the loss of our mother on February 4, '03. I'm left completely alone in our home in something called "life estate". Brother and Sister own the house, but I pay the bills. Next door, there is a tiny yellow house with a young couple. They have a grey kitten, and a brown fluffy tiger kitten. Not too many weeks later, the couples possessions, as well as the kittens things, littered the swale in front of the little house, waiting for the trash collectors. Not long after, the two kittens appeared, having been abandoned. I began feeding them, and keeping an eye out for them. Shortly thereafter, I discovered my neighbor on the other side of me was feeding them too. We decided to split ownership, I wanted the brown kitty, she wanted the grey one. She took them to a clinic to have them spayed, at $15.00 a throw. I got Snickers, the little brown girl, on July 22, '03. Donna the neighbor kept Sheba, the grey sister. Snickers and Sheba were best friends.

Fast forward to the first two weeks of December '03. I'm on my screen porch enjoying my smoke (stopped since) and Sheba goes into my open kitchen door, and disappears into the house. I find her in my mother's room, inspecting the premises. It was then I found out "she" was an un neutered tom cat, no collar. We went to the porch, and I petted him and played with him a little, started calling him by what became his name, and told him to come back if he didn't have a home. TomTiger became my cat around my 50th birthday.

Snickers and Sheba despised Tom. The few times I tried to feed Snickers and Tom were a disaster. Unfortunately, Snickers decided to take up primary residence at Donna's house. I hardly ever saw Snickers. I felt bad, but I figured since the two loved each other (Snickers and Sheba), that was a better arrangement.

One day, Snickers ran over to see me, and turned tail and ran, when she saw TomTiger. Did not see her for a week. I was driving home from work on May 1, '04, when Donna's boyfriend waved from a neighbor's house, and motioned for me to meet him at Donna's house. He told me not to be real upset, but Snickers had been missing for a week. She returned the night before, sick, and threw up a couple of times. By 1:30 PM, May 1, she was dead. He took me to see her, laying in the bathroom floor. I petted her, and he told me that Donna was coming home from her road trip, and she and I could have a little service and bury Snickers. I went to a meeting for an hour at 5:30, and by the time I got back, Donna had returned and buried my little one, on her side of the fence. Shortly thereafter, I had a major breakdown, and cried my eyes out for nearly an hour.

May 25, '04, I got TomTiger neutered, and have loved him dearly ever since. He's put out with me because of the eight cats and their person that are here until she gets a house. We're on shaky ground at the moment, but hopefully he'll get his house (and mine) back soon.

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:-(

That’s so sad, Alan. :-(

It was so good of you to look after them and take them in, though. :-)

We took a very large, black German Shepherd dog called Kira in for nearly two days. The police let us look after her because she was found running around the street where my Mum’s aunt lives, so Dad managed to catch the dog with the police!

The police took Dad’s details, and we had to feed her of course and wait for the owner to come forward. They did two days later and so were given our telephone number. We arranged to take the dog back, and they were so pleased and very grateful – and the dog was so, so pleased to seem them, too! :-)

Our two dogs – Lucy and Max – had no problem with her. :-) Max was great and actually laid with her for a while and snuggled up – it was all innocent, honest! :-) When it came to bedtime, he left her alone on each night but stayed just around the corner. :-) Lucy was a little unsure at first, but she was OK, too. :-)

Alan, I hope you get things all sorted out soon. :-)

Take care. :-)

Regards,

Carl :-)
 

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