I was given this today and had a good chuckle.
"Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:"
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:'searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping aroung the house. Bring your husbands.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of serveral new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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If this has been posted before, I apologize. My friend pulls this stuff from the internet; he has too much time on his hands and so do I for sitting here and typing this.
Hope you like.
Olav
"Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:"
__________________________________________________________
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:'searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping aroung the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of serveral new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If this has been posted before, I apologize. My friend pulls this stuff from the internet; he has too much time on his hands and so do I for sitting here and typing this.
Hope you like.
Olav
