The "Bad Boy" Syndrome

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whirlcool

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We haven't had a really good thread for us all to pontificate on recently so let me start with this one. I am sure many will be able to contribute.

In celebrity culture, especially the hip-hop side of things it seems to be a honor to be called a "bad boy" for their behavior. These days we are even seeing local guys emulating this. Drug using, women beating, maximum tattoo indulgences all seem to contribute to the image. Doesn't anyone realize that a lot of these "bad boys" are really just one step above being a thug?

Why in the world are women attracted to these types? Do they enjoy being crapped on at every turn of the corner? Did they ever have a chance with self esteem?

Don't they realize that today's bad boy may end up being tomorrows bastard, SOB, thug and general loser? I see these guys in the mall and just wonder what kind of chance do these guys have for any kind of meaningful future?

Let the discussions begin! (BTW, do gays have bad boys too? I would think they would not tolerate this either)
 
The "bad boy" fad is nothing new.

The outlaws of the prohibition age - revered and imitated by some.

The Marlon Brando bad biker image: "What are you against?" "What have you got?"

The James Dean confused bad boy: "Rebel Without A Cause".

Nothing new really.

And for what it's worth, many women and gay guys seem to be attracted to the bad boys. Good is boring to them.
 
There has always been a segment of the female (and male) population attracted to bad boys. It isn't logical, but it's true.

As far as their future is concerned, I'll say this: Many of those long-haired, tune-in/drop-out, commune-living, acid-tripping hippies of the '60s wound up with jobs/homes/spouses, so I'm not too worried.

At some point in most young peoples' lives, they tend to leave their freak-flag behind and join a more mainstream segment of society. Not all of them, but most.

In 1978, I had blue and orange razor-butchered hair, wore raw meat on a chain around my neck (those ripped up, safety-pinned, obscene T-shirts were all the cooler with blood stains all down the front), did more drugs than anyone ever should, and was generally about as obnoxious hopeless as one could get.

You either 1) die (nature's way of...); 2) you never change and become that creepy old guy trying to hang with college-age kids, or 3) you get tired of having no money, getting fleas from sleeping on your similarly-scuzzy friends' couches, and you gradually clean up your act, get a job, and become a tax-paying citizen.

Most----those lucky enough to escape fate #1, at least----opt for #3.
 
You see these guys covered with tattoos (yes I know it has been done for centuries) but who in their right mind would hire a guy with a face full of tattoos, things like tears running down their face, etc? Maybe they could get a job as a night clean up boy in McDonald?. Or a mechanic at a WalMart auto center? I mean these guys are not looking forward to 6 figure incomes.

In our era all you had to do was shower, shave and get your hair cut and you could be normal. Not so much today with all these tattoo junkies.
 
Yuck!

I know people think highly of tattoos but I just can't imagine having one. Why would I want someone, who may or may not, have even a health ed course, creating intricate designs on private areas?

My understanding is that in Canada, they consider this a medical treatment and it's done in a clean, medical suite. Out here, it's questionable if they know how to clean their equipment. While shows like LA Ink may be very clean and up to the local codes, I have a feeling that's the exception than the rule.
 
It's not just people, it's at least one store too...

Recently MSN had an article about companies with poor customer service. Only 1 retailer made the top ten - Abercrombie and Fitch. Turns out that they try to be "The bad boy of retail" and that some teens are attracted to the store despite high prices, clothes that look worse than what you find in goodwill, rude customer service and the clerks don't even come to the register (or do so grudgingly) when you want to buy anything. And forget any service if you are slightly older, slightly heavy, or don't have "their look".

Turns out the President of A&F, Mike Jeffries, believes in this himself: We are the cool store with the cool clothes for the cool kids and you should aspire to be like us and if you don't put up with our store then your not one of the cool kids.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co...l-of-shame-companies-2009.aspx?slide-number=3
 
This thread should be named "people that we avoid"....

bad boy is ok as a fad to speak of....just don't go to the extreme....even today you can get a temporary tattoo.....

these people don't think about the rest of society....be an individual, thats a great thing, but some go overboard....

you see guys with major tattoos, large holes in their ears, even the GOTH look, all in black, spiked colored hair....

who is really going to hire them?...if their car broke down on the side of the road...are you even thinking of stopping and helping them?....your first thought is get away from me!

but the list could go on and on..........

people to avoid...and I never thought about it till a friend pointed it out and then I started to observe and found out it's true for all.....people who wear a lot of jewelry, many a ring on about every finger, several earrings, lots of gold chains around their necks....are GOLD DIGGERS, material possisive people, who only want a partner for their dollar value, and how much they can get out of you, and when the well runs dry, their gone to the next....I have a few in my own family, and I tell the about it...because thats all that concerns them....my brother lost 4 wives when he cut their spending and put them on a budget, and stopped going into debt buying them everything they wanted wether they could afford it or not....I called them gold diggers the first time I met them, and dared them to prove me wrong!...and they all claimed to be different than the last one...yeah right!....most of them thought he had money because of the fancy clothes and sports cars.......and they were all mine....he was a little smart, the house and cars were always put in my name, when they walked out, it was on foot and all the clothes they could carry.....touch that car and I'll have you arrested....if you really loved him unconditionally, material things would not matter....for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health.....think before you take those vowels...
 
In High School I had a huge crush on a cute girl named Jessica. I knew I didn't have a chance so I pushed about as hard as I could without looking cocky. I eventually figured out that it wasn't going to happen and let the dream go.

One of the major breaking points in my decision was a class room conversation we had in regards to bad boys. My buddy Scott and I polled the girls in our Composition class about the subject. Most stated that they loved the edginess of these guys, the 'unknown' of where they'd be the next day. But the biggest attractor of all? "We think we can change them."

Good luck honey!
Ben
 
The thing that made me start this post is a most unfortunate situation within our own family.

My sister has a daughter who is 23, and a college graduate with a nice career. She wants to go to college for her masters degree at a very pricey college. And of course she want's mommy and daddy to pay for it.

According to my sister her daughter still lives at home, but spends 6 nights a week with her mexican boyfriend and his two other friends. They live in a rented house raising pit bulls for fun and profit. That's all these guys in that house do. My niece has been dating this guy for 4 years and her parents have seen him only three times. He just got probation for his second DUI and got his license suspended for a year. This kid is only 23 years old. I say the signs are very clear that my niece's boyfriend is major trouble just waiting to happen. My sisters attitude is "She can do what she wants, she's old enough to know better". Well last week her daughter tested positive for a STD. I asked my sister what her daughter thought of this, the answer "Oh, that's ok, he's SUCH a bad boy!"
 
I'm also concerned with what will undoubtedly be an epidemic of hearing loss when today's teens are my age.

I had extremely acute hearing when I was young. I'd walk into a department store and could often hear the supposedly ultrasonic sound waves of the burglar alarm system. It felt like someone was pressing against your skull from both sides. It would set my teeth on edge.

My sister worked at a Zales Jewelry store in Sioux Falls, SD, and their alarm's pitch used to drive me out of the store. It was the oddest sensation---like someone was trying to crush your skull.

At any rate, after many years of playing in rock bands and listening to music at obscene volumes, I'm starting to lose my high-end hearing at a more than normal rate for someone my age. I rarely used headphones as a teen, and even then they weren't earbuds which cause the most damage the quickest. My right ear, which was always toward my onstage amp, is suffering the most noticeable high-end loss.

I often listen to podcasts on my iPod when I'm out for a walk, but I keep the volume low.
 
Change them...

Oh, please!

Once they do 'change' some of them, they walk out because, "You're not the same guy I met." Duh!

The 'happily ever after' is in fairy tales, and even then I wonder.

If you go into a relationship thinking that you're primary job is to 'rehabilitate and change' a mate, it should be a red flag to everyone the couple is doomed.

I'm imperfect and if you don't like the level of imperfection you see, move on. That doesn't mean you can't encourage someone, just allow them to be who they are.

Sure, we want to help someone, but until or unless they show willingness, leave them as-is. Who says what you do is so right and perfect?

Sorry, that's the one thing that always bothers me.
 
My mother always told us kids, if your boyfriend/girlfriend is doing something that bugs you now, it will REALLY annoy you after you get married. True.

And yes I have noticed that women tend to think they can change their man. When my sister married her husband, he was such a wimp. After the ring was on she turned into super bitch and has set all the ground rules for him to live by ever since. And that was 32 years ago! Nobody would have thought it would last 6 months. And yes, she was a super Bridezilla!
 
long-haired, tune-in/drop-out, commune-living, acid-tripping

Yes, but by and large, the hippies didn't really represent the "bad boy" phenomenon. Maybe they were reviled by straight Amerika, but at the time they were more about peace and love than violence and anger.

The hippies were more a matter of cultural revolutionaries than sociopaths. And it's the sociopath who is the "bad boy".
 
speaking of tatoos...

I once met a young man in Berkeley who had "FUCK MODS" tattooed in large block letters across his knuckles. He'd had it done in high school, where I guess there was a running battle between the "Mods" (who rode Vespa scooters) and the fledgling bikers. I asked him once if it might not be a problem for him getting past a job interview... and he allowed, somewhat wistfully, that it was. I think he regretted getting that tattoo. That was about 20 years ago, don't recall seeing him since. But I suspect he's either deceased or had those letters removed.
 
Bad boy syndrom to me is all about POWER. If you "look" bad it gives you POWER. No one will mess with you if you "look" bad ass. That is supose to be cool. Hippies.... they were more about peace and love. Now that is cool.

Jim
 
The 'happily ever after' is in fairy tales, and even then I wonder.

Actually the "Happily Ever After" is an Anglication of the original German, "and since we have not heard any more from them they must be dead".

Happily ever after is much nicer sounding than the original Grimm fairy tail endings.
 
Our contractor, for our remodel had "barb" wire tatts around one of his ankles, it did nothing to diminish his ability, nice poliet and sat our table for dinner more than once. I consider him a friend... Now the guy that sanded the hardwoods was covered in tatts, but gotta say he was polite, and did a great job on the floors, to be fair though i can't see the "floor guy" changing to an office job, i had pointed out the extra fridge with bottled water and soft drinks, he still asked "may i have and Thankyou". I guess you can't judge a book by the cover....
 
Tatts are a form of adornment with various cultural meanings

and in many countries they have nothing to do with being a 'bad' anything. Whilst it can make people look rough, well, lets just say that one ought not to judge a book by its cover.

I worked with a wonderful lady who was also covered in tatts. She was the sweetest, gentlest and kindest person, but she had a wicked sense of humor. On her left upper arm she carried a beautiful tattoo of a puma, which used to be hidden by the sleeves of her work uniform. Her little thing was to ask people she befriended if they wanted to see her 'pussy' - of course, as most people's minds tend live in the southern regions of the anatomy, as mine often does, I was a little taken aback. Naturally, people used give a sheepish laugh when she'd pull up her sleeve to show it. Now, she used to wear lots of jewellery, several rings on every finger, multiple ear piercings etc. and she was very specific that it all had to be at least 18 to 24 karats gold. Though, she certainly wasn't a gold digger - she worked very hard and paid for it all herself. She called it her little indulgence. This lady used to be very straight laced and feminine in the most traditional sense until the death of her own mother, whom she cared for during the last years of her life. She was already well into her 50s when she got her first tattoo and piercings.

There is a difference between being rebellious, difficult, non-conformist and extremely individualistic or simply a careless, egocentric, bully - aka 'bad' boy. One should not be confused with the other. One requires a higher degree of intelligence and healthy sense of self, the other is often a sign stupidity and evidence of childhood neglect and mistreatment.

rapunzel
 
Amazes me that human beings can have such a base instinct as

~people who wear a lot of jewelry, many a ring on about every finger, several earrings, lots of gold chains around their necks....are GOLD DIGGERS,

I look at that twistedness as a little mathematical equation.

ME + JEWELRY = SOMETHING OF VALUE. Take away the jewelry and what do you have=> no worth. So to me they come across as lacking self-esteem.

Tattoos and exotic piercings? Enjoy, but you'll never "get" with me.
 
I like tattoos and have no regrets about any of mine. Of course, I am a short sleeve man, and don't have to worry about some up-tight prick who judges people based on body art and not, say, their 2 master's degrees. spankomatic is right on the money about power too. Tattoos can protect you. People are often afraid of the inverted yin-yang symbol on my chest. Irony abounds. And most non-tattooed people I doubt can recognize the tattoo I have of the rose window from the Cathedral at Chartres on my back.
 
I agree, don't judge the book by its cover.

Yes I do see guys (and girls) who have a number of tatts and really do fit the whole "bad boy" persona and most likely are "thugs". While I do try to keep an open mind, it's hard for me to not feel uneasy around them, probably because of their attitudes and the generational gap.

Personally, tattoos are not for me. I don't have any and I (really doubt) ever will. For the longest time I was very opposed to anyone with a tattoo as it was a huge turn-off for me (generally speaking). But as the clock of life ticks away, people and times change. While I am still (personally) not a fan of those who cover a large portion of, or the majority of their body with tattoos, I have started to appreciate some tattoos as long as they are not over done.

A have couple of good friends who are very, very nice, friendly and just down to earth good people who do not fit the "bad boy" image at all. They do however; consider their bodies a blank canvas. They have each been adding different "artwork" to their bodies over the past few years, continually "improving" their work of art. Yes it is art because the quality of work and the fine detail of the tattoo. It's still not for me (shhh don't tell them, lol), but it's not an issue because I value their friendship so greatly.

Like rapunzel, I too had a co-worker with a handful of tattoos and had a bit of a wild sense of humor. He's in his mid 20's but I think he's more of a "wild boy" then a "bad boy", but he's still a great guy. Like rapunzel's co-worker he would be talking to someone about his tattoos and say "I have your name tattooed on my a**…". Of course they'd say "no you don't", it goes back and forth and he says "I'll bet you". Finally he would turn around and drop trou… sure enough, tattooed across the top of his bum is "YOUR NAME"…. and everyone has a good laugh about it.

The bottom line (no pun intended, LOL) is not all people who have tattoos are the "bad boy" type. I know a number of people with tattoos number from just one to 8 or more and they are all just great people.

On piercings, I agree with Toggles. Actually piercings in other areas too. I think earrings on guys are kinda sexy, but in other areas…. I don't get it.
 
Of course we have to be careful not to generalize in these cases.

The "Bad Boy"s I am referring to are the lazy drug using, girl beating, cheating assholes. They go through life expecting the world to take care of them instead of the other way around. They usually never amount to anything and normally end up like Frigilux said in his post above. A bad boy normally doesn't HAVE to have tattoos to be a bad boy, but most of them have, and lots of them.

Sometimes I worry about my fellow man. I think everyone should strive to be the best they can be. Set a goal and keep a focus on it until you accomplish it. Then go to the next level and repeat. People who can't imagine this concept or even remotely think about it usually are doomed to be bottom feeders.

Nipple rings on guys? I always wondered about that myself.
 

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