aquarius1984
Well-known member
Hi Guys,
Been a while since I have spoken to some of the great friends I ve made thru this site and some of you know over the past 12 months life really has been quite crappy for me with various things.
However now I feel able to make a bit of a statement and just let you all know Im doing just fine.
Life is fitting together and the great support im finally getting off my parents for ther first time is just so amazing.
Maybe I should just blurt it out, If i get excited a touch its not my fault, I just want to tell the world how good it feels at the moment to be me.
Some of you know I moved back home because I didnt feel very close to my parents and I was right in the middle of coming to terms with my sexuality - something they have been very obnoxious about and can be very homophobic at times, I feel I should also say though they are by no mean Ogres but have made it difficult for me to approach them in the past.
Moving back this time made it easier and a couple of sundays ago, Mum got it out of me and listened to me ramble on for ages while I let it come out that I was extremely confused.
Amazingly we bonded to be that touch closer yet and after a couple of days I rather confidently broke my plight to my father who Ive barely spoken to in 20 years despite living under the same roof.
His reaction was the most comforting out of his and Mums and although I doubt we will ever have a normal Father Son relationship it has broken the barriers and now I feel I can talk to him.
They are both happy whichever way I turn out, no quibble honest parenting with love and support.
Anyhoos
Im not clear cut as to which way I am so im happy at the minute as being Bi Curious things will work out eventually but as im told, telling the parents creates twice the hassle yet halves it in the end for many.
Also my parents have accepted my hobby. Ive had to explain an awful lot over and over that none of this should be linked whatsoever but they finally understand although the link or indeed no link between being gay and liking washers mixed in with the possibilty of OCD is baffling my Mum.
I know I dont have an OCD as does my Father but Mum needs time to come round more to accepting. Dads doing just great in explaining it to the family.
Im no longer embarresed to tell anyone Im happiest when doing some washing or whizzing the Hoover thru the house nor do I feel ashamed or embarresesed that my bedroom houses my Miele and Electrolux, - and big smiles to that window cleaner who is probably wondering WTF!?
Which leads me on to the next thing.
The best thing I can do this year is get going to Uni.
I put it off in February as I was worried about my finances but after long discussions with Mum we both agree its now or never for me to make it as a High School Food Technology/Cookery Teacher.
Assuming I can still get in. Communication with UCAS in the pipeline.
Mum and Dad will support me with the help I need which Im thankful for.
Perhaps Uni experiences will help me realise who I am sexually??? Im told it will help.
Now the weirdest thing you may ever hear.
I dont want the other great friends Ive made here feel as though I dont trust them because I do but Ive confided in 2 members about something.
That something is my real name. I wasnt christened Nick its just the name Ive used for many years out of embarressment of my Christian name but Dad mentioned something that Ive been keen to do for a while and that is to reverse my Christian names by Deed Poll.
Its part of me saying im becoming an adult and leaving the grim past behind. My Middle name "Robert after my great grandfather who passed away shortly before I was born" is more fitting to an adult whereas my original name dosnt feel right.
It may not heal the wounds inside, I understand they will be there for a while but in the process of moving on I need to determine positive life changes that leave the past in the past but not forgotten.
Im going to change my profile as of today along with work records and my name badge which looks odd at the minute but kinda cool.
Anyways Hi to Matt, I will get round to sending you mail at some point I promise, just know im doing great. No worries for me.
Hope you are feeling better, Hope to talk on MSN soon.
And big thanks to the rest of you, who you know who you are for the great advice and just listening to me rant and chunner on.
***;-) and Waves*** @ Jon, Seamus and Carl!
Signing off
Aquarius1984
(Its a bit to freaky at min to put Rob LOL)
Been a while since I have spoken to some of the great friends I ve made thru this site and some of you know over the past 12 months life really has been quite crappy for me with various things.
However now I feel able to make a bit of a statement and just let you all know Im doing just fine.
Life is fitting together and the great support im finally getting off my parents for ther first time is just so amazing.
Maybe I should just blurt it out, If i get excited a touch its not my fault, I just want to tell the world how good it feels at the moment to be me.
Some of you know I moved back home because I didnt feel very close to my parents and I was right in the middle of coming to terms with my sexuality - something they have been very obnoxious about and can be very homophobic at times, I feel I should also say though they are by no mean Ogres but have made it difficult for me to approach them in the past.
Moving back this time made it easier and a couple of sundays ago, Mum got it out of me and listened to me ramble on for ages while I let it come out that I was extremely confused.
Amazingly we bonded to be that touch closer yet and after a couple of days I rather confidently broke my plight to my father who Ive barely spoken to in 20 years despite living under the same roof.
His reaction was the most comforting out of his and Mums and although I doubt we will ever have a normal Father Son relationship it has broken the barriers and now I feel I can talk to him.
They are both happy whichever way I turn out, no quibble honest parenting with love and support.
Anyhoos
Im not clear cut as to which way I am so im happy at the minute as being Bi Curious things will work out eventually but as im told, telling the parents creates twice the hassle yet halves it in the end for many.
Also my parents have accepted my hobby. Ive had to explain an awful lot over and over that none of this should be linked whatsoever but they finally understand although the link or indeed no link between being gay and liking washers mixed in with the possibilty of OCD is baffling my Mum.
I know I dont have an OCD as does my Father but Mum needs time to come round more to accepting. Dads doing just great in explaining it to the family.
Im no longer embarresed to tell anyone Im happiest when doing some washing or whizzing the Hoover thru the house nor do I feel ashamed or embarresesed that my bedroom houses my Miele and Electrolux, - and big smiles to that window cleaner who is probably wondering WTF!?
Which leads me on to the next thing.
The best thing I can do this year is get going to Uni.
I put it off in February as I was worried about my finances but after long discussions with Mum we both agree its now or never for me to make it as a High School Food Technology/Cookery Teacher.
Assuming I can still get in. Communication with UCAS in the pipeline.
Mum and Dad will support me with the help I need which Im thankful for.
Perhaps Uni experiences will help me realise who I am sexually??? Im told it will help.
Now the weirdest thing you may ever hear.
I dont want the other great friends Ive made here feel as though I dont trust them because I do but Ive confided in 2 members about something.
That something is my real name. I wasnt christened Nick its just the name Ive used for many years out of embarressment of my Christian name but Dad mentioned something that Ive been keen to do for a while and that is to reverse my Christian names by Deed Poll.
Its part of me saying im becoming an adult and leaving the grim past behind. My Middle name "Robert after my great grandfather who passed away shortly before I was born" is more fitting to an adult whereas my original name dosnt feel right.
It may not heal the wounds inside, I understand they will be there for a while but in the process of moving on I need to determine positive life changes that leave the past in the past but not forgotten.
Im going to change my profile as of today along with work records and my name badge which looks odd at the minute but kinda cool.
Anyways Hi to Matt, I will get round to sending you mail at some point I promise, just know im doing great. No worries for me.
Hope you are feeling better, Hope to talk on MSN soon.
And big thanks to the rest of you, who you know who you are for the great advice and just listening to me rant and chunner on.
***;-) and Waves*** @ Jon, Seamus and Carl!
Signing off
Aquarius1984
(Its a bit to freaky at min to put Rob LOL)
