We are both so touched!!! Thank you all so much
Chuck and I have been taking great comfort in reading all of your posts and receiving so many condolences by phone. You all are a great group of people that we are both privileged to know. We are both doing fine. Tired but fine!
A few of you know the situation but for those of you who don't... My grandfather, who was also my godfather, and I have lived together or next door to each other for my entire life (44 years) and even though I have parents that I adore most people mistakenly thought and referred to us( granddad and I) as father and son. We were often seen together. Being an only child of an only child meant that I was a major part of my grandparents life. When I would run away from home I didn't have to go any further than next door to my grandparents house. This was my safe haven!!
My grandmother/best friend passed away nearly 14 years ago. About 6 years ago my grandfather started to show signs of dementia and, compounded with other illnesses, no longer take care of himself any longer so I did what any family member would do...I left my job and looked after him. This is no less than he would have done for me. He was the ONLY family member who accepted my "comming out" with his only comment being "Are you the same person you were this morning?" my reply was "Yes" he asked "Are you planning on changing into another person tomorrow?" I replied "No" then he looked to my crying grandmother and said..."Then stop crying and go to bed, Mother. I have to be up early!" This is the same man who stood between me and my first partner, who was attacking me(I was 5'7.He was 6'3" and 10 years my senior) in a drunken rage. When my ex went to take a swing at me my grandfather, all 5'5" of him, picked him up and deposited him across the room on to the door of the refrigerator. Don't get me wrong. We aren't a fighting bunch of people. My grandfather was a prominent businessman in our community but his family was THE most important thing to him and NOBODY messed with his grandson. Not that he had great taste in picking men for me...though he tried!!! He loved us all unconditionally. I think he loved Chuck more than me at times. Chuck was the only person who could make my grandfather laugh over the last few weeks.
My grandfathers biggest wish was to be able to pass away in the house that he, my grandmother and uncle built all by hand from the ground up. This was a hobby and labor of love that he took great pride in. My wish was that his home would be the last thing that he saw and I and my families voices would be the last voices that he heard. We both got our wish.
A few hours before he passed I bathed him. When I finished he thanked me several times (something that he never did before and meant a great deal to me) then, less than a hour before passing, assured me, when I enquired, that he was comfortable. He then passed silently, quickly and painlessly with his eyes still opened looking at the wall where a picture of my great-grandmother hangs in his bedroom! It gets no more peaceful than this.
He knew that his family loved him and that it was OK for him to leave us. I told him several time that it was OK to go if he was tired and that I would fight for him if he wanted to stay but I assured him that my grandmother and his 9 departed siblings were waiting to greet him. The first time I told him this he gave me a look that said "they can just f******g wait!!" They didn't have to wait much longer and now they are all together once more.
He was my grandfather, godfather, friend, advisor, hero and, for the past 6 years, one of my reasons for living. We will miss him but know that he is no longer suffering and one day we will be together again
Thanks for listening to me prattle on. It's therapy
We will post a link to the obituary, tomorrow, for anyone who is interested.
Warmest regards,
Rich and Chuck