The Story of my Divorce

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mixfinder

Well-known member
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
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1. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.

2. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

3. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?
Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

4. Where does virgin wool come from?
Ugly sheep.

5. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
It isn't hard.

6. How can you make your wife mad while making love?
Call her from your cell phone.

7. What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her
wedding night?
His last name.

8. What's the down side to a threesome?
You'll likely disappoint two women instead of just one.
9. How do you know you're really ugly?
Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg.

10. Why were hurricanes named after women?
Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car.
11. What's the similarity between a hurricane and a Louisiana divorce?
Somebody's gonna' lose a trailer.

12. What's the difference between a Hummer and a porcupine? On a
porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
 
i really need to get a life....

i thought Kelly was actually going to tell use about his marriage and its breakup!... what was i thinking!
 
Isnt' divorce GRAND:

For someone who says that they no longer want any part of you, it's amazing how they reacall every tangible and financial asset you have, and none of the assets contained by your personality/ charcter. You can go from being G-d to the Devil in one short month.

So what's Alimony?
The F---ing you get for the F---ing you got.

...as the ethnic saying goes, you pay for everything; right here and right now.

Also:
Don't lash-out at the end of a relationship with someone who is not meeting your emotional or physical needs. IT IS YOUR JOB to have taught them HOW.

same as NO ONE CAN BRING YOU HAPPINESS, that is YOUR job.

End of sermon.
 
Defense of Marriage

Whenever I hear some rightwingnut blather on about that defense of marriage bullfish (i.e. keep marriage exclusive for straight people) I wanna scream "If you want to defend marriage so bad, why don't you outlaw divorce?"

My marriage to Dennis does not exist on a legal paper, but is sealed in our hearts and minds-no stupid "Defense of Marriage Act" can take that away from us. We will be celebrating our FIFTEENTH anniversary this Labor Day weekend.

Sorry- I just took this thread on a wild tangent and I know I am raving. Will go lay down now with a cool washrag on my forehead...
 
oh David. Havn't you figured it out yet?
(Can we feel the dripping sarcasm?)

What they F is superior to what you F.

(It just IS because *they* say so. And *they* will be very happy to stick that opinion in G-d's mouth too).

Simple isn't it?

Let us not forget that left-handed people were at one time burned at the stake for being different too. (The majority is G-dly, the minority the devil's work.) Today I don't think anyone even notices or cares.
 
The Real Story

Brett,
Just ask what you want to know. I tell it all and hold back only what protects the innocent!
Kelly
 
tisk tisk........whats up with the G-d abriviation?

Remember...............Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
 

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