Truth In Packaging

[mixfinder]

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the
right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten
the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,
dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked
up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered
her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police
station, where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and
placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman
approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the
booking desk, where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal
effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind
your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in
front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What
Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder,
the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome- plated
Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had
stolen the car."

Kelly

 

[tomturbomatic]

Priceless. Actions speak louder than words. This is like the story of the lady with the "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. Somebody honked at her while they were stopped and the honkee got out of her car to cuss the honker up one side and down the other.

 

[hoover1060]

Love it!!

Just what I needed to start the day with a laugh, thank you Kelly!

 

[joeekaitis]

The knife cuts both ways.

My car has a bumper sticker that says:

Hoping for world peace
is like wishing everyone
would use their turn signals.

I was stopped at a red light and heard the tap of a horn behind me. I looked in the rear-view mirror and the female driver of a Hyundai Excel was alternately pointing at my bumper and flipping me off.

After the light changed, she swung around in front of me so I could see her bumper sticker collection which included the mandatory "BUSH LIED, PEOPLE DIED" and its new companion "NO ONE DIED WHEN CLINTON LIED", a bumper sticker for our local Pacifica Radio station KPFK, the tribal peoples bumper sticker "We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children" and an inverted American flag decal.

At the driveway of a strip mall, she jammed on the brakes, flipped me off one more time, and turned into the parking lot . . . without using her turn signal.

 

[Cybrvanr]

I just have one bumper sticker on the back of my van it reads "I'm autistic, what's your your excuse!"

 

[toggleswitch]

I have one bumper sticker that actually sits in my den, on the bulletin board.

"HANG UP AN DRIVE"

Sorry, it s a pet peeve of mine. Darling your feelings are only real to you and a very limited number of those who love you; disussing them ad nauseum is not worth risking my life and everyone else's.

There is a time and a place for everything, and "this aint the time." Focus on driving.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Rant over.
NEXT!
*LOL*

Another good one:
Dear Jesus, : Please protect me from your followers. Amen

 

[~sudsshane]

bumper stickers~

AndrewinOrlando has a bumper sticker that says, "my dog is smarter than your honor student". I for one, have learned my lesson with bumper stickers. especially the political ones. Back during the 2000 election, I had a Gore/Lieberman sticker on my car and was practically run off the road by a Bush/Cheney supporter. Not worth my safety or crashing my car.
I did see a great bumper sticker recently though ( just my opinion and no offense meant to those who differ)A little old lady who had to be in her upper 80's, had a bumper sticked that read.

Bush/Cheney..Category 5 National disaster!

 

[andrewinorlando]

.....and my other favorite is "Gas, grass or my ass - either way, you're paying for the ride". I knew a whore in NY who had that on the back of her Ford Granada!

I was thinking of having one made that reads "My washer and dryer are more interesting than your miserable life".

 

[mixfinder]

The Real Truth

Mt bumper sticker says; I was born with nothing. I still have most of it.
Kelly

 

[sudsmaster]

My motorcycle has a sort of bumper sticker - it's on the back of the seat cowling - that came with the bike:

"In Thrust We Trust".

 

[andrewinorlando]

Thrust, indeed!!

 

[mixfinder]

I can't help myself!

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.

THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Are there any stairs in Tucson?
Kelly