Why does God like to play favorites?

[speed_queen75]

That is one thig i would like to know why does God love to paly favorites, and pick and choose, whom he wants to give things to? Over the past couple years i have become very bitter towards life in general, now i know it's not all peaches and cream, but damn, when you get no help from the man above, you wonder, is there really a god? Here lately i have been watching others get things handed to them, especially boyfriends, knowing they will not appreciate nor deserve it, judging by their actions alone and seeing how they treat that person. For example, one of my girlfriends Autum, met this really great guy who is a cop, and he loves her and asked her to marry him, however she, "Autum" likes to play around with others and has a few, shall we say "friends" on the side, this really upsets me and makes me hate God even more because i'm like, God why do you give her a great guy knowing she does not deserve it, but you refuse to give one to me knowing that i do, and would be faithfull to one person only, not to mention i am really fed up of watching God play matchmaker with others gay's and straight alike, but will not by no means, and simply refuses to play matchmaker when it comes to me. Call me negative, call me you of little faith, whtever, I did have a very strong faith, and prayed to God daily, and asked for him to send me a partner, i even changed my way of asking, and asked for him to lead me to the rigt place to be able to meet this partner that had for me, all to no avail, each year that went by, and every prayer that went unanswered dwindeled my fait more and more, to the poit where i am now, not wanting to have another thing to do with God. Why would i want to serve a God that is goig to play favirites? Why serve a God that is not listening to your crys? Why serve a God that pick and choose whom he plays matchmaker with, not me. I get tired of sitting back and watching God give my friends both gay and straight a partner, not to mention these hateful and ungreatful Bitches out here, who deserve to be single like me, get a man handed to them, just dropped in their laps. That is why i have grown bitter and cold over the years, cause God almighty simply will not answer my prayers, and has not for sometime now, and what really really gets me is, to God nothing is impossible right? That is what the Bible teaches us, however, he has an extream difficulty preforming a simple task on my behalf that he preforms for others on a daily basis, and i don't understand why, it's so damn simple for God to do, we are talking about the allmighty here, the alpha and the omega, the begining and the end, the one who created heaven and earth in just seven days, the one who created man, can't preform a simple task of match making for me? Maybe i am not one of God's "favorites" surely hes has them i unfortunatly am not one of them. Well I'm done now, and i am already prepaired for the responses that you all are going to give me, you have to make it happen for your self BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA, and life is what you make of it bullshit, so please spare me the " it's my fault and my chioce to be single" bullshit cause if it were my choice to be so, then i would not have sat here and typed out this now would I?

 

[maytagbear]

Going to be much more direct than usual:

When was the last time you THANKED God? When was the last time you wrote a list of the things for which you were grateful?

God is the source, however, it's better not to confuse God with Santa Claus.

When was the last time you thought about what you had, instead of what you do not have?

Breathing, typing... increase the list.

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[toggleswitch2]

All things begin with a thought

~That is why I have grown bitter and cold over the years.

Step one to fixing any issue is to recognize it. Step two is to deal with it.

All things begind with a thought.
A thought generates an emotion.
An emotion generates an action.
An action generates a result.

You are what you THINK you are. Change your thoughts and you change your outcomes. Happiness is only a thought away.

Try this one:

Thank you dear G-d that I can walk to my own toilet, and that I have one.
TY that I can drop trou. without help.
TY That I have water.
TY That I can part with my body poisons without help. And that I have two working arms and two working legs and two working eyes to do it all with.

I worked for a quadriplegic on the weekends and you have no idea how good we all have it. I won't even begin to tell you how much time and work it took in the morning to get him to sh@t, to be showered and get shaved. I'll spare you the details of what I had to do to get a BM out of him. and if beign in a whhlechair and all if that wasn't enough, when he broke his back in a car accident he now pees 24/7. Luckily I dodn't have to glue on his peeing facilites which are a condom with a connection on the end for a tube to the urine bag. But he has to endure his father handling his privates at 40 years of age. Just what an 80 yar oid married man wants to do.

I am told he was a strapping young popular hot jock with a brain. Then *POOF* One good car accident when he was showing off in his Camaro; it was ALL gone.

AFAIK he NEVER cursed G-d and acutally said Mother Mary came to him that night after his accident and comforted him and said he "Would have a good life" despite the accident. I'm not sure he agrees with that. But is anyone can bitch that someone else has more than he does, he can. But he doesn't.

As far as sitting in judgment as to what your friend does/gets/has/behaves. Sorry that is THE most distasteful thing in the planet and not gender-appropriate.

Bitterness?
One catches more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I wish you all the best. But I also hope that you can deem yourself worthy of it and LOVE YOURSELF. No one else can make you happy or love you for you unless you love yourslf first. G-d dont make junk (though one is tempted to say she has some off days................ )

Please don't bother with negative rebuttals and jutifications. I won't read them. Blast me in a priavte email if that makes you feel better. But my truth is my truth and it took me decades to wise-up and get to my happy place.

YOU ARE THE BEST. Why do you not see it?

 

[sudsman]

Why you try something Like HELPING others

help out at a old folks home, shelter ect you would be suprised just how many really nice guys you can meet like that. Instead of crying in your cornflakes. And singing poor little me. What goes around comes around you get back just what you give out. Try giving out some good and not expecting ANYTHING in return. Dont judge others saying they are not deserving they must be or they would not have. Also DONT try to compare your self to others you have talents they dont have and so with them. That is just the way it is.. Use your talents for good and good will come around. I can ASSURE you there are MANY others out there that are MUCH worse off than you. The people that are Homeless the ones that are in wheel chairs, the ones that cannot feed themselves or even get out of bed. just to name a VERY few. THINK ABOUT IS HONEY!

 

[tomturbomatic]

Concentrate on genuine gratitude for what you have. Years ago, I asked a friend how to cope with grief. She said that she started each day with thanksgiving when she opened her eyes, for her life, for her warm bed, for the roof and walls of her house, for being able to get up, unassisted, and go to her own bathroom, for the hot and cold water plumbed in, for the food in her kitchen, her ability to prepare, eat and digest it and on and on.

When you go outside on a cold day do you give thanks for the outerwear that keeps you snug and warm or when you go outside in mild weather are you aware of it enough to be grateful? We walk sightless among miracles. If the sun rose once a year, tickets would be sold, but the Creator renews the work of creation continually day by day and we experience that.

Gratitude completes the circuit of blessing. Remember the electrical experiments in school when a battery was connected to a lightbulb? There were wires going from the battery to the light and from the light to the battery, but unless the circuit was completed, the bulb did not light. You are all wired up to receive blessing, but unless you complete the circuit with gratitude, you will not feel the blessings. It's like a pump in a fountain. Water cannot get to the top to flow down unless it is returned to the top by the pump. The water has been supplied, but until the pump puts the water in action, it's all static.

Make your life complete. No partner can do that for you. Once you acknowledge your blessings, you can really fill your life with blessings and be alone, but not lonely. It is when you present a complete, confident person to the world that you will present a gift to be desired by other desirable persons. Desperate, lonely souls scare away people. No tree is looking to be strangled by a vine seeking support.

I try to live by this closing line of a morning prayer. "So long as my soul is within me, I will offer thanksgiving to you, O Lord, my G-d, Master of all works, Lord of all souls." This means giving thanks is pretty much a full time job. Concentrating on what you are thankful for will not only keep you very busy, it will also put your wants in perspective. You will see how your needs are met and have been met and realize that Heaven knows your wants before you think of them or speak them and knows how best to provide them. Some things that you really want right now are not the best thing for you. It took me a long time to learn that one. Even better things will come along. You do the daily routine of getting up, working and going home, offering thanksgiving all the while and see how much you really have then watch how things happen to bring even more blessings into your life.

 

[cleanteamofny]

I didn't want to chime in first when I've read this 4 something this morning.
Steve is right, when was the last time you've given thanks?

Not judging, but do you give thanks when bad things happens.
If you could walk 2 feet in my shoes, let alone 10 miles, would you be able to give thanks?
I can, in spite of what has been dealt to me. There is a saying "When praises go up, blessings comes down!"
And I'm a firm believer of this. My family and I was very close of losing the home we've lived in for 37 years during the falling of the housing market,
but through prayer and praise, the man upstairs made a way and we got more than we can receive.

I love gospel music and there's a song that I've listen to that kept me going during that time of need, "It's your season to be blessed" and boy did God came through!
I still have praise even through my current sickness, I will raise my hands and say Thank You!

You are not lacking faith, you just watching on the side line wanting what everyone has.
Stop doing that, it's not your time.
When the time is right, that special person will come into your life then ask Him^ if he's the right one for me?
Wait for the answer before that first kiss, then you'll know!

 

[re563]

There is a book you should read. It's called "Conversations with God" by John Neal Walsh. Will change your outlook, and how you ask for things.

What everyone else has said is very true. Once you start giving thanks and taking a good look at what you do have and what you can do and how you can effect others, your life while take a very sharp turn around. Change your outlook and always look for the best in everyone. God doesn't like ugly. It's not for you to sit in judgement of them. That's this job. Be Happy for your friends and move on. What happens to them does not effect you.

 

[sudsman]

If SYMPATHY is what you happen to be looking for

It is in the dictionary between shit & syphilis

 

[jeffg]

The directive is, "Seek and ye shall find." It's not, "Sit on thy butt and ask God to dump Hugh Jackman on thy lap."

Here's a quick fix: Pick a U.S. city with a population of more than 500,000, and go there for two weeks. Bring a pen and a pad of paper, and write your name and phone number on every page of the pad.

During your visit, go to every gay bar, gay restaurant, gym, gay softball league game etc you can find, and at each of these places, introduce yourself to as many guys as possible, regardless of their age or how good looking they are (or how good looking they seem to think you are). Be friendly, funny, outgoing, and make a sincere effort to ask questions and try to get to know these guys. Explain that you're there on vacation and are looking for friends to show you around the city. A few guys will ask questions back to you, and these are your best prospects for friendships.

The goal is not to find a life partner immediately, it's just to greatly increase your circle of friends. Sooner or later "the one" will show up, it's just a matter of how large you have to increase your circle of friends to find him.

 

[statenislandgwm]

speed queen75 if you think God plays favorites.........

Then he must be playing favorites with YOU since you were not one of the poor souls killed on 9/11, nor were you one of the residents of NOLA who lost everything due to hurricane Katrina, nor are you the woman on Oprah last week who was horribly disfigured by a chimp attack and no longer has a face, eyes, or hands. I am sure you have a roof over your head, food in your refrigerator, most likely a car and obviously a computer since you are on this website... all of which is 100 times more then some people have. With all the time and energy you wasted using this forum as a podium for your "why doesn't God like me" rant you could have been doing something constructive helping those who are truly less fortunate than yourself such as volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. I didn't know God was a matchmaker, someone should tell him he could make a fortune with an online dating website! <sarcasm>

 

[jeffg]

From the film, "Trick", 1999

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[petek]

First off give your head a reality shake because God has nothing to do with giving people a partner. Then give your head another reality shake and realize that if you are a negative person you repel people. It's really that simple. People are REPELLED by negative people and even if you think that you aren't being negative and you're "trying" to be positive it still comes through. Not until you really rid yourself of your negative persona are you going to stand any chance. So work on it. Get some help for it if you need it.

 

[westingman123]

one word...

counseling

 

[lavamat_jon]

There is no god. Life IS what you make it, not some mystical figure in the clouds. Life deals shit as well as roses, you just need to make the most out of those roses - life is too short to revel on all the shit, especially when in a matter of a few short decades you will be nothing but a mere rotten corpse.

Be happy - you will find a decent guy if you look hard enough =). It's so easy to be negative, but look at being single as a blessing. There will be some times when you are in a relationship when you wish you had the freedom.

Jon

 

[panthera]

Lee,

I grant you that there are many unfair things in this life. There are also many real jerks in the gay world.

That said, you can either let yourself be defined by the jerks and the unfairness or you can fight back or, you can just not play.

That's life in the gay world. You can continue to be bitter and play the game by their rules and lose or you can say, screw this and not play. You've spent too long trying to integrate into a gay scene which is not where you belong. So, screw em!

Here is some strong advice. I don't give a shit about all that nonsense about not giving advice, all gays love to give it and some folks actually take it. You should. Here's my advice: Every single person here who has answered you above this posting has said the same thing: Get up, get out and do something for someone else. Print out what they've written to you, hell, print this out, too - but follow their advice. Go help someone who is less fortunate than you. The nicest gay men are to be found out volunteering their time helping people. The jerks, don't. It's that simple. They're too busy looking to be offended and to play their royal little games. Gah. Puke. It's 2009, not the 1920's and this is not a Noel Coward play.

If you can't stand people, start by helping animals. They are much nicer than people, anyway. And they attract nice guys.

So, stop pissing, bitching and moaning about how terrible life is - yes, a lot of life is unfair and there are a lot of real jerks in the gay world. Granted. But you are looking in the places where they congregate.

So what? Go out, help others and you will become a nicer person. In time, that will attract nicer people to you.

Personally, I am so not into the bar scene. But, if you want to go that route, yeah - the slip of paper is an excellent idea. The bigger town, too. Small town gay scenes are frequently not the most welcoming...

Finally, what are we, chopped liver? There are one hell of a lot of good, nice, warm-hearted people here. We do care about you or you wouldn't have so many of the nice folks from this site writing to you.

 

[panthera]

Jonathan,

I do believe it is just as illogical to demand their be no god or gods or "God" as it is to deny the principle of faith and demand that there be a God.

Or can you provide proof of a negative?

 

[lavamat_jon]

I managed to post the unedited post. I meant to post "I believe there is no god" at the beginning.

Of course, I don't begrudge people of their choice of faith, and of course I mean no offence, but I have seen from my - fairly young I will admit - eyes that more often than not faith does nothing more than insert false hope, surely it's better to just deal with life as it comes without any false hopes or promises?

Both of my grandparents followed religion and believed in god. They both died of cancer in their early 70s after many long years of battling, just a few years after they retired and built their own house - and were left with no time to enjoy it. My father had his whole livelihood took from him 10 years ago and has been left brain damaged and is pretty much half the person he was. If there was such a thing as god, then surely my grandparent's faith would have prevented any of this from happening, and wouldn't have punished them so to say?

Not to mention how anti-gay most religions are, I really do think religion as we know it does more damage than good.

Jon

 

[hoover1100]

ok , well I know a lot of people find faith and comfort in r

So I'm not gonna bash people's faith. I'm not religous but I often find myself wondering why I'm single when everyone else around me seems to be in a happy relationship.

It's really hard, but you have to talk to yourself sometimes and just assure yourself that these things take time and your time will come. I've recently been having sessions with a Psycologist, I explained to him how I felt regardling this situation and he put it to me this way. Whenever I have met someone, even if nothing has come out of it, it's been totally out of the blue and when I least expected it. Whenever I think to myself "I MUST find someone" I've found no one and just ended up disheartened and depressed. So basically, these things come along when we least expect it and making a concious effort to find someone will just end in heartache.

Having said that, don't become closed off, go out, socialise, do what you enjoy and when you are around people enough these things are bound to happen, just don't go out with the mind set that you have to find someone, go out thinking "I'm going to enjoy myself today".

I don't beleive that praying to God will help, if you find comfort in it then I can see that it would be beneficial, but it seems to be making you disheartened, nothing that causes us pain is good.

I'm not going to tell you to abandon religion, and I don't think you should unless you feel you wish to, just remember you are in charge of your life, and relying on the hope that God will change things for you will get you nowhere.

Matt

 

[jaxsunst]

I felt the same way......

I made the decision to stop pushing for it, stop praying for it, whatever happens would happen. If I was meant to be alone, then I would enjoy beging alone. I have a favorite quote, "Life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you deal with it".

Within two months of making that decision I met my wife of 12 years. What I'm trying to say is, things tend to happen while you're not looking. I might be because you are more relaxed and open to it, so when it happens the other person sees the best of you. Not the frustrated and desparate part.

I have a strong belief in God, I think he was waiting for me to relax and let him handle it. Give it a try, what have you got to lose? Even if you don't find someone right away, at least you will have fun with your life. Yes, I do believe (unlike some Christians) that God helps and loves gay people. Gays people are born, not made, and God doesn't make junk. I'm sure you're a good person, you just need to relax and let others see your best.