Advice?

[retroguy]

Way off topic, but I must ask...

Has anyone here ever had a neighbor that was endlessly annoying, and impossible to ignore? Someone whom you have called the police on, multiple times, who is stupid enough to never learn their lesson, or a little respect?

How do you handle this situation gracefully? And HOW do you get them to move!? (For the record they do own their home. unfortunately.)

 

[petek]

A neighbor across the road Joyce and two doors down has had an ongoing problem with her next door neighbor since she (Joyce) and her family moved in about 6 years ago. Apparently this woman screams and swears at them from the other side of the fence calling them trash, a slut, you name it. I couldn't believe it when she told me after I got to know Joyce after we moved here in late 06. Kind of disbelieving it and not having heard it myself I mentioned it to some other neighbors and they all confirmed the woman is nutty. I've never met or spoke with her but I have spoken with her husband a couple of times in the driveway when I've been walking by with the dogs and he seems normal. When Joyce first told me I rooted around in all my stuff and found her a pocket memo-corder and told her to put it on the fence when this woman goes blasting off so at least she'll have some record if she goes to the police. Apparently as soon as the crazy lady saw the tape recorder she clammed right up.
Also I was told that the people that previously lived in Joyces house had to move because of this woman. There isn't much can be done unless they start "uttering threats" hence the tape recorder.

 

[oldhouseman]

What's going on Douglas?

I am guessing that people may have issues with neighbors at one time or another.

Another reason I prefer a rural area.

What are the details of your situation?

 

[danemodsandy]

retroguy:

I've had this situation before, and I can tell you - if you can possibly manage it, the best solution is to move.

You can complain all you like, you can collect as much proof of misbehaviour as you want, you can follow the process to the bitter end.

When you are through, you will not believe how many "rights" miscreants have, and how few you seem to have as a law-abiding complainant. People who engage in annoying or troubling behaviour seem to have radar for how far they can go and stay within the law. You'll call the police time after time after time and the answer will usually be that the situation isn't "serious enough" to warrant their doing anything. On those rare occasions the misbehaviour is serious enough to have broken a law, the perp will apologise in court, or pay a small fine, or make some minimal amends like a fast cleanup of neglected property, and will go right back to annoying the crap out of you. Only now they'll do it with a smirk on their face, because you called the law on them and nothing much happened.

Again, move if you can. What you spend on relocation, you'll save on bills for therapy, Paxil, dentistry to restore the enamel ground off your teeth, and legal services. Trust me.

If you cannot manage that, the best proof of a problem is videotape, and the next best is pictures on actual film (not digital). Courts respond best when they can see evidence that comes in a form that is not easily edited. Digital photos and tape recordings are both pretty easy to tamper with, and judges know that.

 

[retroguy]

Where do I begin?

The front of my house faces the side of theirs, so I have a perfect view of their back yard. They do everything in that back yard. They use it as a parking lot, even. They play loud music back there. They have a nephew that stays there who has assaulted them, and has been arrested several times for drugs. They have stolen shrubbery from the yard of a foreclosed home, and they even stole appliances from it. (And told ME to mind my own business!) My biggest complaint would be the noise, I guess. But in general, they are just horrible people. Apparently inherited the house from the old man who used to live there. She was his live in home care nurse. Whom he didn't know for very long... And decided to leave her the house shortly after she started taking care of him? At which point he suddenly dies? Convenient. Very. Convenient.

 

[pturo]

Play Lawrence Welk Music at full tilt until the legal hour in the backyard, speakers facing them. Follow up with some loud Pat Roberts searmons and religious Folk music.
Put your ipod on and listen to what you want,sipping some cool Kendall Jackson and reading a book.

Let them call the sherriff on you, who can define the rules for noise.

 

[petek]

Not much you can do then but keep complaining to the city about the noise if it's exceeding the bylaws.
Unregistered or unplated cars kept on a property outside are sometimes against bylaws.
Don't go threatening them in anyway, don't converse with them at all, otherwise they'll figure out you're the one who keeps calling the city inspectors.

 

[andrewinorlando]

As aggravating as it is when you are within your own rights and have to deal with this kind of nonsense, you have to become the complaining "squeaky wheel". Call city council members, homeowners association members, etc., and insist they enforce laws and rules. And keep on doing it as long as they are in violation of rules/regs. Video and tape record what you can. They will eventually get tired of hearing from you and do something about it. It takes time, and it's aggravating to have to do when you've done nothing wrong, but that's usually the way to get action. If they are at least sub-human, is it possible to talk to them? The police are only so useful, and it really depends on where you live as to how effective they are willing to be. Also depends on the strength of local laws that deal with this kind of thing.

 

[dalangdon]

I agree with Andrew....

Stick it out, and know your zoning regulations. It sometimes takes a long time, and you have to do your homework, but those folks can eventually be dealt with - even in Seattle, which is known for having endless processes for this sort of thing. I've got one crazy neighbor down, and one crazy one to go.

 

[toggleswitch]

Never underestimate the animalistic instincs in humans such

There was a story on this regarding some evil neighbor in a Florida Cul-de-Sac, who went so far as to call the police resulting in one of the the (apparently) DECENT neighbors getting a police record, and having to spend thousand to defend the charges.

There were six neigbors there all united against one.The Contessa got off without anything happening to her. She seemed to me a master-baiter and master-manipulator. Quite charming she was during the interview.

It absolutley sitnks when one can't do a thing. But sometimes doing nothing is doing something.

 

[iheartmaytag]

I never had to call the police but. . .

When I bought my house it wasn't on the listing, but we found out the lady across the street came with the property.

She is 79 years old. I know she is lonely, but she manages to show up for every meal. Proceeds to tell me how to clean house, take care of the kid, and my yard needs work. She is also the neighborhood gossip. Once she leaves my house she is off to the next to spread what she learned here.

I'm a big fan of false information. I never tell her the correct answer to any of her questions. As far as I know the neighbors think I actually paid a million five for the house. I work for the President in a remote office, and my three year old is actualy a CIA agent under cover.

 

[nmaineman36]

Wow sounds like you have a problem there. We have neighbors that moved in about 5 years ago and I can tell ya its no picnic with them. They are from Africa...where in Africa i dunno....but...in the summer they dry meat on cardboard in the sun. Imagine the flies and not to mention the scent. Then they clamp on the meat grinder on the deck which faces our yard and grind the meat after...some lands in our yard. Then the time they had a big ass bucket of live fish and the woman was sitting on a stoop and she has this chopping block and a machete. She took each one out and started to skin them alive right there. My cats watched this and I was wondering what the hell was going on. My Kyle was getting squeemish and he seemed horrified.
Then there is the laundry...they dont use the washer and dryer they have...dont know how to use them...they have steel bowls and wash clothes on the deck and then dump the water on the ground where you guessed it...comes on over to us. They have had plumbling issues and they wash dishes outside and brush teeth outside and its goes on and on.
But the big thing is trash...they pile it up under the deck and then the mice come and the smell...we have called the city and 2 other neighbors have called and the city came down and cleaned it out and then charged them. They were not happy. Now the cops are watching the house since they think its a meth lab...so you see things could be worse.

 

[polkanut]

To iheartmaytag: I love your "responses" to your neighbor's questions. The other neighbors will think she's as crazy as a loon. LMAO!

 

[oldhouseman]

When I lived in Atlanta

I had a neighbor that "inherited" her house the same way. White trash from hell. The back of my yard faced the side of hers. Same scenario as yours pretty much. I planted a bug in her ear about how much she could get for the house if she cleaned it up and put it on the market. That was in the late 90's. It took almost a year because she asked more than the place was really worth but she did sell it. And was very pround to announce she was getting a double wide on some lake proerty in Alabama. The people who bought her house made it into a McMansion and that helped me sell my place when I decided to get out of Atlanta. Hang in there Douglas and try to make it a winning situation. Take up a new hobby in the meantime, something like firearms shooting lessons.

 

[tomturbomatic]

Are you able to plant something that grows tall fast between the yards? That is more subtle than a solid fence or wall. Can you arrange to hold an outdoor cookout-fund raiser for your alderman, town or county council person or other local representative? Outdoor speakers, brought inside when not in use, connected to your sound system with the tuner ON, but between stations, can produce some neat, annoying noise as can a turntable with an electrical short, well amplified, for that 60 cycle hum. You probably should install a good home alarm system.

 

[retro-man]

Well you could always try the nice approach. When she is in her backyard swearing away at you and yours you could always approach the property line and ask, is everything ok do you need some help are you hurt? She may be taken aback by this and respond either way. nicely or continue on with her rant. She may be at her wits end with the nephew there and this is how she deals with it. Make mention of something nice with some small talk, like whatever you made for dinner last night smelled really great, what was it and could you give me the recipe? or your clothes look really clean and bright, what detergent do you use. Sometimes this really makes them think and they get off their rant. Hey it never hurts to try and sometimes this will break the ice and her nerves. I have had some incredible irratating neighbors and this worked. You can have a concerned look on your face then give her a smile. You know what you are doing but she doesn't. Or ask her about her appliances she may share some info. Or mention you have some plants that you are breaking up and would she like some. Never hurts to try.
Jon

 

[sdlee]

crazy but Ive seen crazier

heres my wonderful expierences in fine apartment living

situation 1, a four plex......the guy next door was married to the gal up above him. He and a room mate took the place next to me when he left her (the gal up above) He left her coz she was cheating. A few months of constant fighting doors slamming stomping up and down stairs between the two floors it turned out that SHE WAS CHEATING and it was with the roomate, the guys best friend. Well that all came to a head in the middle of a card game in my house one late winter evening front lawn.

Two, In Denver the two loud mouths on the otherside of the wall were your typical hillbilly brothers who drank and fought about anything one could fight about. One night one decideds to shoot the other. Since bullets came flying through my wall my place became part of the police sceen. Not only did I come home from work to my apartment being tied off by police tape I wasnt allowed in it for two weeks while they investigated.
The police went through everything I owned and took what they thought was important to thier investigation, shit like tapes, a stereo, a guitar. They left behind things like pieces of the wall, bullett fragments, whatever. Flashforward 6 mos I finally get my stuff back, some of it missing, a lot of it ruined. The stereo for instance had every wire pulled out of ever circut, the tone arm torn off., the guitar unaccounted for (I assume it went home with one of Denvers finest)...etc

Three, Finally back home thinking Im safe. Nope. I lived in a victorain house split into three apts, the guy upstairs toilet overflowed as he goes out to work so for 8 hours my suspended cieleing is filling with sewer water, the people next door constantly were having loud hetro sex and there was no ignoring her constant porno screams...more like living next to a bloody murdarers rather than an old biker couple who still havethe hots for each other.Yeah (Smiles ahhh the memories) we were having a thanksgiving day after dinner in my place to the choruses "I NEED TO C_M!!!!!!!!!""Make me C_M!!!!!"

My advice.......no more apts...solid seperate housing...hire an arsonest to burn down the places on both sides....ps if they rebuild....get an arsonest who does return service...

what can you really say or do? I finally have a silent nieghbor where I live now but Im still not winning. I now have a landlady that is a freak of nature about the yard.To keep from moving AGAIN I have to keep it looking like the damn white house.

 

[thomasortega]

Am I lucky or what?

I just love all my neighbors and they love me too.

i can't hear any noise comming from their apartments, except the telephone ringing once or twice a day from my next door neighbor or the piano (from 7 to 8 pm, she plays very well and I love her songs) from my under floor neighbor, the same who had a fire and almost burned my bedroom.

Everyday my side neighbors kill me with the smells... fresh baked breads or cookies, muffins, cakes... barbecues on weekends. I can cook very well, but they can do it much better. (and they always invite me for dinner or tea).

here in my building we're so close that our front doors are always wide open (i have no idea where are my keys and the last time i closed the door was to clean behind it) Everybody respects each others spaces. If someday something bad happens, i just have to scream and surelly in seconds somebody will come to help me.

In 10 years living in this building they never gave me anything less than peace, respect, friendship, honesty and care. i never had any compaint and i've never heard any gossip between neighbors too.

If i need to travel, i don't need to tell them. but they always realize i'm not home and come inside to water my plants, open my windows during the day to renew the air. when i come back everything is exactly on the same place. And if i'm home, they never come inside before ringing the door bell and waiting for me to ask them to come in.

Once i traveled and forgot to pay the bills in advance. When the mailman brought the electricity bill my front door neighbor payed it for me. when i came back and wanted to refound his money, he just told me to forget it to compensate the 4 or 5 times (in 10 years) he used my washers and dryers.

 

[retro-man]

I must say I am very lucky having the type of neighbors that live around me. Everyone gets along well. You have the occasional parties but everyone moves inside by 10 pm so as not to bother the others. Very quiet street. We all associate outside but very rarely go into others homes. It's nice this way. We all have other friends outside of our neighbors so this works out well. Everyone is there if you need a hand with something. We have started the past few years decorating at Christmas and more and more houses are participating on the street. Very happy living here. Hopefully the neighbors in the next house are like these. Makes for a more pleasant homelife.
Jon