Asperger's Spectrum

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tomturbomatic

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I ran across this interesting sentence in a review of the book Parallel Play by Tim Page, Music Critic of the Washington Post who discovered, late in life, that he is an Aspie.

"We are not always natural companions,” he writes. “If, say, you introduce an Aspie devotee of antique piano recordings to one whose passion is vacuum cleaners, chances are that the meeting will result in two uncomprehending and increasingly agitated monologues.”
 
To me they are the most loving people there are. no B/S and

The range, I'd say runs the gamut.

Severe case hired at work as special-needs employee.
Father, milder case
Ex partner, mildest case. Ex-partners dad, pretty severe.

Me, not sure how severe. (See? I'm one of the 25% with mental illness).

But it explains a lot. My secretary is amazed at how well I handle the guy at work. To the others in my office, he is mystery.

Once I learned of Asperger's --and from years of interactions with the ex -- how to deal with it, I was able to get along famously with the above-listed and keep myself more on-course with others both with and without it.
 
Toggles

Asperger's will probably be struck from DSM-V, at least in the wording of the current DSM, it's undefinable, really.*

Which kinda fits, if you think about it....

But you're way off the scale in my heart and I have a gigantic love-on for you, just the way you are.

*Abnorm Child Psychol. 2001 Jun;29(3):263-71.
Does DSM-IV Asperger's disorder exist?
Mayes SD, Calhoun SL, Crites DL.

Department of Psychiatry, The Pennsylvania State University College of Medicine, Hershey, USA.

DSM-IV criteria for autistic and Asperger's disorders were applied to 157 children with clinical diagnoses of autism or Asperger's disorder. All children met the DSM-IV criteria for autistic disorder and none met criteria for Asperger's disorder, including those with normal intelligence and absence of early speech delay. The reason for this was that all children had social impairment and restricted and repetitive behavior and interests (required DSM-IV symptoms for both autistic and Asperger's disorders) and all had a DSM-IV communication impairment (which then qualified them for a diagnosis of autistic disorder and not Asperger's disorder). Communication problems exhibited by all children were impaired conversational speech or repetitive, stereotyped, or idiosyncratic speech (or both), which are DSM-IV criteria for autism. These findings are consistent with those of 5 other studies and indicate that a DSM-IV diagnosis of Asperger's disorder is unlikely or impossible.

PMID: 11411788 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
 
How does one get tested for Asperger's?

I really believe that I have some degree of Asperger's. I googled it and found a site that lists the symptoms and I do match quite a few of them, especially the social abilities and the intense interests in one certain subject at one time (washers IS one that frequently comes up. It used to be REAL bad when I was kid), and to some degree sensitivity to sounds and light to name a few.

I don't care about the "intense interests" thing. That's how I found this site. But the social abilites and the lack of communication and self confidence is what I'm concerned about.
 
One classic symptom is that Aspies don't like to be touched.
I didn't get that one (symptom), but let me tell you how well it works in one's lve life when the former partner was that way.

Aspies don't do well with creative use of language, and idiomatic exoressions. I had to explain running jokes and plays on words on TV and in the movies so that the ex would "get it". Some Aspies are very literal. Mine openly gave me hell about routines and discipline, but secretly needed and craved same. Many times Virgos (like me) get into routines because they are the most efficent way to accomplish tasks. Aspies tend to do things a cetain way "Because that is the way it's (always been) done". And can fall into routines for no apparent reason. One thing that can be said is breaking a confusing world down into smaller tasks makes the world esasier for them. Hell, for us all!

Social graces and non-verbal communications (reading body-language) are extremely hard for Aspies. The females in my family just love to beat around the bush and drop social clues. BUT HELLO I CANT READ THOSE THAT EASILY! Get to your point woman! *LOL* I NEED to hear it directly; no pu**y-footing around!

Through it all, I have learned forgivenss and compassion. My father made my life as a youngster hell. He was always a bit *off* but no one could pinpoint it. His Aspie's manifested itself as anal-retentiveness. Well, as Asperger's is a form of Autism it explains why his diplomacy and tact were missing. Diplomacy means (Diplo + matia) literally "double-eyes", having two sets of eyes--in other words seeing things from the other's point of view. When one is Autistic (from "Autos" -self) one can not see past themselves as easily.

I truly think the universe gave me my ex to learn how to deal with my father, and asperger's in general. And that, more than one psychic has said, is my spritual goal in life, as he )mayy fahter) and I have been reincarnated many times to work it out.
 
oh Petie.

I call myself "2" and you give me a "9". Can I assume you ar letting me use your "7" ?

ROFLMAO

Ducks and runs............
 
Well, I do get jokes and word plays, but as I said before, the social graces and the non-verbal does sometimes confuse me. Trying to speak to someone and getting the right words out is also hard to do sometimes.

One of my biggest problems is in joining conversations. I can't get words out fast enough so I usually get talked over and/or ignored. Helen told me to raise my voice way up (don't shout, but speak loud). doesn't work. It gets attention for a minute and then when I get lost for a word, someone almost always shuts me down.

It's either Aspie or just a lack of self-confidence or both, or something to do with the link below.

http://www.controllingparents.com
 
I think I have this too... need to do more research, but so far it seems like I have almost all the symptoms! Narrow limited interests (vacuums, same tv shows/music etc), and very clumsy... I drop or spill almost everything I touch. At work, I'll pick up a pen and drop it 3 times before I can start to write with it... and you should see my try to cook/clean in my kitchen... it's always a disaster (but fun nonetheless). I'm glad to know about this, because I think it will help other people know how to interact with me, or at least why I interact with them the way I do.
 
jason,

I believe toggles was merely pointing out what dear Dr. Fraud used to say: "Sometimes a cigar IS only a cigar".

What? Oh, he was referencing a diagnostic scale? Well, no banana for me.
 
My experience with Asperger

Neptunebob,

The only way too explain this is to give details of what I have gone thru life with Asperger.

My parents have always told me out of their 5 children I was the only one that did not like to be held or cuddled as a small child. I'm the oldest of the 5 siblings. The one thing they did notice was I loved to watch things that would spin around. I could sit and watch whatever was spinning all day.

My constant demon to this very day is "ROUTINE". If I didn't have help from my wife I would eat and do the same things everyday. I have to make lists to insure I can get things done on a daily basis.

When I started to school in 1961 there were not anything in place to deal with an Asperger child or a pretty severe ADHD child. The only way teachers knew how to deal with an "unruly kid" was to punish them and advise the parents to do the same. My first grade teacher put me in front of the class once and called me stupid. I still remember that to this day. It wasn't until I was in fifth grade did I have a teacher that noticed I was a little different then the rest of the kids. High school was a living hell for me. I feel this is the reason I never attended college.

For me I have always had a problem with loud sudden noises, i.e. gun shot, ballons bursting, loud thunder etc. Asperger people always take things told to them from other people to litteral. My grandmother once told me "you must be diabetic since you drink so much water". I quit drinking water till my mother notice I had not drank anything all day in the summer heat. I also do not do well in a crowd of people. I normally go to a corner of the room and stand or sit and observe.

Asperger people also have a problem with making and holding eye contact in one on one conversations. I know this trashed my efforts on numerous occastion trying to land a job. People think because you can't keep eye contact you must be hiding something from them.

The one thing my parents could not figure out was I knew more of how their washing machine worked then I knew how to do math homework. I would literally sit all day long and think of nothing but washing machines. The other things I was obsessed with was mechanical cash registers and fans. I could memorize every button on the registers. I would go to people houses with my parents to visit. They would miss me and I would be looking thru their house looking for their fans and washing machine.

The one major problem I had (and still do) was making friends with peers. I always felt I was inferior to them. Scared I would say or do the wrong thing, get made fun of etc. I wanted to make friends but just could not do it.

The other thing also with Asperger people is we love to "please" other people. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten into situations because of this. I had a sexual encouter once because the person made me feel guilty if I didn't have sex with them. This scared me so bad to the point I never dated again until I was 27 years old.

It was not until I met my future wife in April 1986 did things finally start to turn around for me. Once again I had to work on being touched and touching someone else. My wife has the patience of Job with me. It was not until August 2004 that I finally found in a web site on Austism did I learned this thing I have has a name "ASPERGERS". I also discovered that I was ADHD. I was so depressed for several weeks after the discovery. I think I greived over loss of my childhood/teenage years. In 2005 my depression got much worse. I started Welbrutrin XL 150mg to treated my depressed state. My doctor changed the medication recently to 300 mg per day. Luckily I finally pulled out of the depression. But to my surprise it also has helped with the frustrations dealing with Aspergers. It also helps with my ADHD as the medication helps to keep me on focus.

To date I still don't have many friends. I still like washing machines. Thru going to work with my father as a teenager did I learn some social skills. The main people I have a the best realtionship with are kids and senior citizens. I don't take things a litteral as I did as a child.

AWO has been a saving grace for me. I thought for all these years I was the only person obsessed with laundry applicances. My wife accepts it as part of who I am. My in/out laws still make fun of me because of it. My family just over looks it as one of my quirks.

This does run in families. I have a 13 year old niece who deals with it everyday.

The best way for me to talk to people is thru Email and on the phone because I don't have talk to them face to face.

Sorry this is so long but I hope this gives some in sight into the Asperger's world.

Peace,
David
 
WOW!

David, That sounds kinda like my life story there, which I don't think I need to bore everyone with there. But yeah, my 3 main things have always been washers, amusement park rides (mostly coasters), and record players/stereo systems (vintage, not new). You made a strong point on "things that spin". All 3 of my main interests (washers, rides, records) spin and I can watch them for hours.

Even in the 70s, there was no such thing as ADHD and Asperger's. The doctors just told my parents that "He daydreams too much and he's lazy" so I was punished as such. What a bunch of shit. Oh well, times change and at least some schools/teachers/doctors are becoming more accomodating to people with such disabilities.
 
I like to think of unique ways of processing ("thinking") as "quirks".

I heard of a yourng lady in her 20's that was genius, (if not, then approaching it), but she and her immediate family (parent and siblings) just could not tell time on an analog clock.

I'd say everyone gets different abilites.
 
You know what's weird

is I am the caretaker (POA, Executor) of my aging parents. My Mom is 76 and has mild to moderate demntia. My Dad is 80 and is just old and worries about every penny that's spent. He is still able to take of my Mom. I go to their house 2~3 times a week or more to help them out and give Daddy a break. I take them to their Dr.'s appointment etc. I quit my job in May to spend more time with them. We are able to make it just fine on my wife's salary.

My Dad told my wife not too long ago when I was not around that David (Me) has really turned out better then I ever thought he would. He really knows how to take care of us. He told her he was very proud of me! It is the most rewarding job I've had so far!

My parents know nothing of my Asperger and ADHD. I figure since I'm now 53 years old it would make them feel guilty that they did something wrong in my raising. When in reality it was not their fault at all. The knowledge was not around during that time.
 
One last comment

Then I promise to shut my mouth!

I must, must ,must stay away from caffiene in any form.

It sends me into super warp speed hyper-activity!

My wife drinks coffee and mountain dew at night then goes straight to sleep. If I did that I would not sleep for days!
 
Caffine

You know what coffee does to me sometimes. I'll start talking about a certain thing and drive my wife crazy. And before I even realize what I'm doing, it's been about 10-15 into it. Oops. My wife has the patience of Job (sometimes) with me too.
 
The good thing is those that hyper-focus on ONE thing in life ("specializing") and do it REALLY REALLY REALLY well make millions. Maybe there is hope for us Apsie's yet. We just have to find the one, money-making thing we can excel at and get obsessed over............
 
I CAN HAZ

Good Lord, all that bad English up I wrote up there. I need a spanking now.

Togs, if I can make millions of dollars being an Aspie, I'm all for it.
 
Thank you David,

for telling your story. You do not have to tell anything you are not comfortable with. I have wondered if I have Aspergers but there is no proof and I don't want to tell too much.

Jason, do you think this condition is affecting your marriage (I will understand if you don't want to answer)?
 
Bob

Not really. She understands why I'm obsessed with certain things. After she researched on what Asperger's is and what some of the symptoms are, she thinks I may have it to some degree.
 
Same with my wife

After I showed my wife all the information I could find on Asperger and ADHD she understands 99% of the time and is very supportive.

She can always tell if I have not taken my medication. I left it off one day and we went grocery shopping. I was going down each isle unknowingly straightning the items on the shelf. I was not aware I was doing it but my wife noticed it right off.
 
Have any of y'all read any of the works by Temple Grandin? She says that most of the people working for computer firms are Aspies as are a lot of the independent contractors like lighting engineers and others involved in motion picture making. She said in a talk on Book TV on C-Span that she went into the cafeterias in computer and software manufacturers and saw individuals sitting at tables by themselves with their laptops but none of the people were really interacting. She said that they were probably all on the spectrum with attributes of Asperger's.
 

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