Asperger's syndrome

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I have learned a great deal from this thread. I really appreciate hearing the details of this syndrome/condition and can relate to some of them too. Thank you to all of you who have made or will make contributions to this subject. Understanding others is a wonderful quality to have and to learn. Patrick
 
Austin's story

There have been threads started on this topic before and I have delved into them in the past, so I'll do it again. Steven, that is a very good read and you and I share a lot of characteristics as well as differ in others.

Even though I have not been officially diagnosed yet (would love to find out though; I don't view AS as anything negative), I am 99.9% positive I have Asperger's Syndrome as well as OCD, and I'm also sure the appliance obsession I've had since I was born came from this as well. I was extremely shy and had no desire in interacting with kids my age up until 1st grade, instead I played by myself and was perfectly content with it. Luckily I went to private school for the first 9 years of my life (first a Methodist pre-school, then Lutheran through 3rd grade), and while there were some bad times there, I actually had many friends that were a lot like me. I know I would NOT have survived public school for one day (especially in Houston) and would have been picked on/beaten up constantly.

I had a horrible time looking someone in the eye (still do sometimes), and did tend to fidget a lot when I was talking. Depending on the topic and unless it is something I know a lot about or enjoy discussing, I find it hard as well to keep a conversation going. Normal "chitchat", especially with people my age, is difficult...there absolutely HAS to be a topic of conversation. I also have a hard time "reading" people's emotions, which has made me victim of many little "mind games", even after I thought I had gotten better at it. It has also made me seem like a cold, horrible person, which in reality I am not. I just *can't* tell what people are feeling except when they show really strong emotion, such as smiling, laughing, crying, excited voice, etc. As for my own emotions, I used to show a LOT of that in earlier years (read: cry at the drop of a hat type), but that has improved as I got older. And, unless it is just downright hilarious, I really have a hard time laughing at just "normal" funny things, and when I do I'm usually forcing it. My social skills used to be downright horrible (not so much with adults but with other kids) and I was very reserved, but that is another aspect that has improved with age. It's safe to say that now I act like any other "normal" teenager. However, I have been, am still, and always will be, a very submissive person, and that is probably my #1 weakness. I am not a "fighter" and tend to stay away from any situation like that, especially because I'm certainly not the biggest or strongest person around. I don't understand the whole "male dominance" thing that revolves around other guys I know, and for that reason I have absolutely NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in sports, not to mention what little sports we played in PE I sucked at. The downfall of that is that I live in a small town where you're not anybody unless you play sports, which is probably the reason why I haven't had a girlfriend or been able to get a date in high school, and probably never will until I get off to college.

I don't really consider myself clumsy, but my handwriting isn't really the best, and I can't draw worth a s**t. That is pretty much a family characteristic from both sides, though...none of my relatives were strong in that category. I wasn't born to be an artist and I don't really care to be, either. And Toggle, you brought up a good point. Honestly, unless it is by a good-looking girl that I know (those of you who read this probably think I'm nuts, yes, it's just a bit weird), I don't care about being touched. It's this strange feeling that I can't really describe, more of a "cringing" response. I myself find it odd that your ex did not care to be touched by you; you would think it would be someone different such as his brother, sister, etc.

I also find that I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac, and am a big "germophobe" to the point of carrying small bottles of hand sanitizer in my pocket. Whne I was younger, around 10 years old, I washed my hands CONSTANTLY, though not so much now. I'm sure I have my clean-freak tendencies for that reason.

As for my OCD side, I like a set schedule and routime for my life as well as a set organization for everything, both in the Studio and in my room, and don't like it when it's affected or anything is out-of-place. When I'm off to college in 2007 it will probably be hell for the first few weeks just because I will be living in a different place away from home and will have to follow a different routine than I normally did. I also revolve the week around laundry, and think about what day I'm going to do wash during the entire week. I also have a list of certain things I need to do taped on my bulletin board as well as a list of projects involving the machines I still haven't completed.

A few other things worth mentioning that I left out is that I have a terrible sense of direction when it comes to driving in an unfamiliar place, and will probably be the type that depends on a navigation system as an adult. I have also liked to read from the beginning (started reading at age 2), and have always preferred nonfiction, reference books, magazines, or catalogs to typical fiction books (except for some Stephen King)...for some reason they do not appeal to me.

Well, that's all I have to say, no holds barred. I hope others will come forward and share their stories as well.

--Austin
 
I myself find it odd that your ex did not care to be touched

It used to drive me NUTS. He does not like to be touched. PERIOD. By anyone.

Others craved my touch and a massage. My nieces beg for a backrub as I tuck them in.

I tell ya, it really used to bother me that I could not please him with my sensual touch, till I began to understand it was HIS wiring that was different.
 
I don't have Asperger's though I do have some traits but it is found I "do not meet criteria". I do show feelings, read well, have a conversation, and look forward to change, but I do like the laundry and college for me was a disaster - especially since it was for business administration (WestyTopLoader, don't let me scare you, you should do fine if it is in your interest). I have germ phobia too, but I thought that was because my father was dentist and had a bit of OCD so I probably inherited it from his side of the family. My mother does not understand that because she lived on a farm during the depression during the dust bowl (but I know her mother boiled clothes!). I don't like team sports and can't stand the whistle at football games but enjoy hiking, swimming, and tennis - which are better for your health anyway. As for the touching, I think of a quote by Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect. Once he had a show about studio wrestlers and said that when he was in school, whenever they had wrestling in gym class he would try to get a note because he "could not stand to touch other men". I could not stand wrestling either so I guess I was not the only one.

I have been up late at night and sometimes there is college lacrosse, which I never saw before. At the beginning of the game, the two players "wrestle" for the ball. I don't think I like that game either.
 
I learned some new things today

and I want to thank each of you...Steven, David, Jason, Emilio and Austin for sharing them and educating me.

We have a great group of people here, including each of you, who have over time shared their personal stories. It proves to me that while each of us may be different in some way, the important thing is that in the end we are really so much alike....good, caring people.

Thanks for sharing.

Rich
 
i dont know what to think... i HATE startling noises (thunder, balloons popping, guns), i like to cuddle and hug and kiss but i HATE neck massages. i consider myself capable of being quite social, but the average person simply isnt that interesting. i am very content being alone. i can be compulsive about things (speech, Joan Crawford, gameshows/TPIR, makeup artistry, music/dance/disco). routines are no big deal. i am not easily amused, takes a lot to make me laugh (toggleswitch, mixfinder, elaine boosler, janeanne garofalo, *the queens of comedy*, Lady Bunny...) i wonder what my diagnosis would be?
 
Zenith

Thank you Bett.

No greater compliment has ever been paid.

No hug, just a knowing nod.

Kelly
 
Seeitrun, YES YES and YES! I do the exact thing. I plan my washing right on schedule and go nuts when something throws it off. I also have to balance out "me" time vs "we" time. This is where Helen qualifies for Angel status. I could be helping her do something and then I'd suddenly go sit at the computer and start playing a video game. Helen doesn't get mad, she just goes, "You can play your game but I thought you wanted to help me cook". Then I get back on track. Of course, Helen DOES have a way of getting me away from the washer, but that's not to be discussed here ;-) .

Since I got my Hoover and that Kenmore upright vacuum, I've also gone on a vacuum frenzy. The first speck of dirt felt by my bare feet on the kitchen floor and either Connie or Kenny comes out to play. I have to alternate between the two or one will get jealous. I'm not sure which one's more fun.

Austin, we must be brothers. I can't draw worth a crap, I have no interest in sports as well, and I have alot of the qualities you possess.

Again, I don't know if I qualify as an Aspie but I have some of the traits.
 
Making the bed

OK, without having some sexual remark from Togs (not that he does that anyway ;-)), how many of us ADD, Aspie, or OCD people are very particular about making our beds?

For me, the sheets have to be perfectly aligned and squared, and pulled up as far as possible for best coverage. The top of the bedspread must be even with the top of the sheet so it can be folded or rolled back. I thought I was anal about it until I tried to help Helen make the bed. OMG! I just stepped back and watched the most perfectionist, OCD bed-making EVER. I was in awe of such a performance. Perfectly aligned sheet and bedspread, "hospital corners", and the top part rolled back for ease of getting in and covering up. Helen's good when it comes to the bed (insert innuendo here).
 
The bed

Believe it or not we never make our bed except on Saturday and Sunday. That has never really bothered me. My is a perfecionist when it comes to making a bed also. It MUST be perfect. Pillows placed just right, comforter even on all sides etc.

When I'm in the bed YES the sheets have to be completely smooth, tucked in at the foot with at least one smooth thin blanket on top folded a back just enough as to not be touching my face. Wherever I'm sleeping it must be a room that is almost pitch black. No ticking clocks, water dripping, dogs barking etc. and bedroom temp cool. Being an Aspie I am bothered by sudden loud noises anyway but at night when a storm comes up if the lightning flashes I'm awake before the thunder booms. My wife has slept thru some of the worst storms you can imagine.

One other thing I can't stand is clutter. It just cuts thru me like A knife.

Oh well it takes all kinds!
 
Pitch black

No no no no no no no no no no...

HELL NO!

I know I'm going to get alot of crap for this but, there must be nightlights and either a fan blowing or a radio playing (music) for me to sleep. Darkness and dead silence will drive me absolutely nuts.

What used to scare me about thunderstorms was never the lightnight flashing or the thunder but the threat of a power outage and all the lights going off. Thank God for Taplites, candles, and generators!

When I was small, loud noises such as motorcycles, train horns, 18 wheelers, jets flying overhead used to scare me but that's all gone now. I don't remember ever being scared of thunder except for the fact that the lights will go out. The only thing that freaks me out a little is when a t-storm gets bad and looks like a tornado may be coming. But that's a normal fear, I guess.
 
Generator

My dad just bought a monster 17.5kw generator that's loud as hell. I'm sure I'd have been skeered of it as a child but would've appreciated the fact that it won't be dark in the house.
 
What is a Syndrome?

According to Wikipedia...

In medicine, the term syndrome is the association of several clinically recognizable features, signs, symptoms, phenomena or characteristics which often occur together, so that the presence of one feature alerts the physician to the presence of the others. In recent decades the term has been used outside of medicine to refer to a combination of phenomena seen in association.

I always hated the word Syndrome. It seem to put us people (with a some Syndrome or another) into our own classification, with a connotation of "inferiority", as if to say we're not normal. At least using words like "Moebian" and "Aspie" kinda takes the Syndrome part of it away, giving us more of a exclusive kind of status, like a certain uniqueness.
 
T-storms

Now if a thunder storm comes up in the day time unless the lightning is really close I'm usually sitting on my front porch watching it from my office window at work. A tornado passed one time near our house. My wife is in the half bath in the middle of our house taking cover. I'm poking my head out the front door listning as the darn thing passed by. Now as a child if I heard a clap of thunder and man I was under the bed, in the closet where ever I could do to get away from it.

I used to be scared of the dark but keep in mind I grew up in the day and age when in the early to middle sixties everyone was spotting UFO's. Everybody was building atomic bomb shelters. I had relatives on my dad's side who would loved to purposely scare me and my sister to death. They would chase abulances, fire trucks. They would drive around to find where the KKK was burning crosses. You would not believe how many car wrecks and houses burning down I saw when I was 6,7,8,9,10 years old. My folks use to watch Twlight Zone, Outer limits which scare the Hell out me also.No wonder I was on a mild sedative in the third grade. GEEZ!

I've always wondered just what were my dad thinking at the time.

Except for the Asperger I've seem to have managed to get into adulthood without too many problems. In fact the Asperger has beeen a blessing in disguise as it kept me out of trouble unlike my brothers and sister. I was too afraid of everything.
 
Up until a year ago, I always left a lamp on when I slept as ambient light was more comforting. Now, I mostly sleep in the dark, but sometimes when I feel like it I turn a light on. I always run the Sleep timer on my stereo and leave it in Video mode so I can listen to the TV without actually having it on. Other times I put the radio on the jazz station or AM 740 to listen to Coast to Coast.
 
And when I was little, loud noises used to really scare me, and I HATED thunderstorms. The loud "sonic-boom" type of storms which rattle the windows and end up killing the power for a little while have surprised me a few times (especially when I didn't hear the lightning "crack" beforehand), but in general they don't bother me any more. At night I usually open the blinds so I can watch the lightning.
 
Sorry for not participating much in the discussion here. I was out on a sort of mini-vacation on the Chesapeake Bay since Wednesday. Just like a typical aspie, I have returned to a neat little campground I've frequented even as a kid, and even set up my trailer in the same spot! I joined my parents down there, and although I love my mom dearly, she just doesn't understand what bothers me.

She asked me to join them for meals over at their RV. Her cooking is great, but the atmosphere has a lot to be desired! My parents are in the rescue squad, so they always have the public service radio listening to the emergency vehicles going all the time. My mom also can't miss a newscast, so she had that going on the TV, that, coupled with the noisey D.C. exhaust fan in the camper, and all the lights in the thing going (during daylight hours) and it was just a little too much for me to take....It was nice to walk down to the docks afterwards and sit and just listen to the water and watch all the boats out at sea.

You guys speaking of touch issues, I experience issues with that too. I don't like to be touched, especially lightly, and unexpectedly. If someone says that they are going to touch me, it's not a big issue. My mother however is one to say "There's a piece of something on you" and just reach out brush off the fleck of whatever caught her eye, without having any respect to ask first...drives me bonkers!!!! I imagine the touching issue is something that helped shorten some of my relationships in the past for sure, especially since it was never clear to others what I actually like, and why.

Oddly enough, usually a more firm, heavy touch is a bit more pleasurable, than just something lightly brushing my skin. One of the strange things I've found I actually do like when it comes to the sense of touch is that heavy lead blanket that the Dentist uses when he X-rays me. I find the heavy weight and the warmpth of it to be very nice

The issue of touch has always been a factor in the clothing I wear. I tend to pick out high thread count clothing, and almost always wear cottons, silks, and other soft, pliable, "breathable" fabrics. I have yet to find any style, fabric, or type of undergarment that is comfortable yet, and believe me, I've tried quite a few! To aggrivate the clothing issue, I'm a rather small person, and it's hard not only to find comfortable clothing, but also find it small enough to fit me. Shopping is a nightmare too, because of all the noisy, busy stores with PA systems sqawking, TV's blaring, and annoying clerks that won't let you be and pick out your own thing.

Because if my issues with clothing, I just simply find it more comfortable just to not wear any when I'm in the privacy of my own home, or sleeping....and due to my very logical nature, I just can't seem to figure out why humans have such an aversion towards their own bodies...something that no other animal has! I don't see nudity as being very sexual at all...it's just another state to be in, just like wearing a suit, versus a T-shirt. Apparently, clothing does a lot more in society than just simply protecting our skin from the elements...it also carries a message of some sorts.

I'm like Jason in the sense to that my sleeping quarters must be perfect. Barking dogs drive me crazy too, and I find the warm hum of my window AC (yes the house has central air too!) helps drown them, along with many other annoying noises outside right out. O can't stand to have anything blocking my breath, and if I can feel my own wind blowing back on my skin, or to breathe it back in, I cannot sleep till the issue is corrected

Thanks for your insight Toggle into your experiences with Aspies!
 

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