more about birthday parties in the Baby Boom era
Speaking of birthday party gifts....maybe it was just my parents, but I don't remember giving or receiving many gifts that were tailored to my interests, in spite of the fact that I knew the people involved (either the birthday boy, or the guests at my party) and their interests pretty well. In other words, when we'd go to Sav-On Drugs to buy a gift, I don't remember my mother or father ever asking, "what does so-and-so like to do, what are his hobbies?". It was more like, we'd choose a gift that WE thought looked interesting and that was it.
About the only exception to this was, if the birthday boy liked building models (planes, cars, etc.), we'd buy a plane or ship or truck model. Otherwise, nothing about the person's interests was ever taken into account, even though I knew a lot about my birthday party hosts. I'm not saying that a six year old boy would normally think, "ok, I know so and so likes to do ______, so let's get him a toy along those lines" but I'm wondering why my parents---who were and are very nice people---didn't ask me such questions when selecting a gift. I might not have been able to give input for everyone to whose birthdays I was invited, but I probably could have given useful input for maybe half of them.
Birthday parties for Baby Boomers were a big deal, as they are now (but they weren't a big deal pre-Boom). Moms would select a theme, the garage would be cleaned out and picnic tables set up, the decor would reflect the theme, as would the cake. Some of the higher end parties included an activity: miniature golf, ice skating, a hockey game, etc. I remember one rather complex party when I turned seven: the day camp I attended in summer, which was at the time out in the boonies (horses, open fields) was available for birthday parties for families of campers (not to the general public though). My father drove ahead with the food and cake to the ranch, while the kids met at our house, then mom and one of the other mothers drove everyone to the train station and we rode the Santa Fe one stop north to Del Mar, CA. A 25 minute train ride, but for most their very first train ride, and we were all enthralled. Dad met us at the station, having off loaded the station wagon at the ranch, and after a day of softball, hamburgers, and horses, we drove home in the station wagon (food and cake having been devoured, decorations and utensils having been tossed, there was now room in the station wagon for kids.....this was a small party, maybe eight kids at most). I remember my sister's party and we went to see "Mary Poppins" two days after its San Diego release.
Looking back as an adult, I now realize that some of my friends never had birthday parties, at least not ones where friends were invited (maybe they did something just as a family). My school was a mix of upper middle class and middle class families, so disposable income must have varied. Some families clearly could not afford to take 10 kids ice skating with a birthday lunch at the rink. Others maybe refused to keep up with the Joneses, Others maybe "couldn't keep up" due to mental issues. My best friend never had a birthday party that I recall, his family was middle class (not wealthy, but a simple party at home would have been within their means), but I now know the mom was bipolar and she committed suicide when we were in high school (covered up for twenty years, I only learned it was a suicide when I was 40). She had four kids and probably it was a struggle just to keep the family going, so birthday parties were not even in the picture. My parents on the other hand had good organizational skills and enough income to conform to the suburban model of Baby Boom parenting.
The most unusual birthday I remember: my friend was allowed to invite only two guests, then we drove with the parents and sibs to Tijuana, had dinner at the then-elegant Hotel Cesar (home of the Cesar salad), and then went to the Jai Alai matches. Because Cesar was pretty ritzy, we had to wear ties and jackets. In those days, you could cross the Mexican border without formalities. Today, parents would need a notarized letter from the parents saying it was ok to cross the border, and the guest children would need passports or passport cards!!