gay? borned to it..or learned behaviour...

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sdlee

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Joined
Oct 23, 2007
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ok just out of the gate I say its a learned behaviour.

Never have I looked at a baby and said man if you were only a few decades older.

And no baby has ever looked at me and said damn hell be dead before i can conjure up whats Im assuming will be sexual desire.Damn Damn Damn.

cmon scientist.......you put men on the moon, you figured out how to have metal in the microwave, youve invented an electric car and silver tube that suspend themselves in mid air carrying 500 people across the land and sea but you cant find the chromosone thats makes us gay...................there isnt one ok?

before anyone gets ballistic on me..........think back to youre own make up. Werent you lead to believe you should bea masculine entitiy? When and where did that change?

did you learn by exposure?or was there this lil voice inside saying be gay,be gay,be gay. What created that?

whats all yalls thoughts?
 
I'm thinking all hell will have broken loose before the 10th panel is posted.

Children, play nice or daddy will take the keys to the T-bird away!

Each side has a vested interest in a certain answer. Try to be kind!

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Nice name.

"Dr. Dickson said, those that are frequently rejected over time become less aggressive in their mating behavior."

Not in the gay world, honey. The less attractive the more likely they won't take "no" for an answer has been my experience.

*LOL*
 
I was recruited!

One day, when I was about 7, I saw this guy in pink shoes flouncing and swishing down a hall way. I followed him into a room. On the blackboard was written "Homosexuality 101". There, they taught me what it means to be a top or bottom, how to pick out the right shoes for my outfit, and how to cross my legs when sitting. I graduated with flying colors! I still consult my teacher as a mentor (if he has time between all the children he's "playing" with now... after all he's 75) when I can't decide what color panties to wear under my khakis and polo shirt.

Sdlee, you mustn't be gay...
 
I'd be very interested to know how one "learns" a physical attraction for persons of the same sex? This is not just about sex, folks, this is about being physically attracted to, and having strong desires for the same sex. So, if it is a learned behavior, that would mean that any straight person could learn to have those deep feelings of love and attraction for a person of the same sex. Kind of like turning a light switch on and off?

Since I've never felt any attraction whatsoever to women, I would have to assume that my mother "taught" me to feel that way, even though she "taught" my brother to be straight, and have feelings for and an attraction to women. I wish she were alive so I could ask her why she felt the need to do that, but, I guess I'll have to wait until I see her in the afterlife!
 
I wouldnt say i learned "being gay" from anywhere, even when i had girlfriends in school, i didnt feel attracted or sexually attracted to them, i actually went out with them because that was the thing to do, if anything i was trying to learn how to be straight, but as soon as i got older i ditched that idea and went with how i really felt, which was MEN MEN MEN!!!!!!!!!! :)

In all respect i could ask the same question and ask how did you learn to be straight, what was it that made you attracted to the oppersite sex.

Why do scientists need to waste their time trying to figure out why some people are attracted to the same sex and why some are attracted to the oppersite, what really will the end result achieve? a cure?

What about people who like both sexes?

Jay x
 
You want what? where? OH NO I DONT THINK SO.

I had a girlfriend in high scool. She was so horny/randy she was blowing in my ear, nibling on it and trambling and I had no idea what she wanted.

I got in trouble for necking with her in the basement of a friend during a party. I think my mother would have congratulated me in retrospect, based on my ultimate "preference" which I prefer to call attraction.
 
What a strange

thing to ask. What up with this SDLee??? Are you trying to deal with some issues of your own?
 
I Hope I'm not violating copyright to give part of the lyrics from a great Judy Small song:
(it really echoes my own background, apart from being the other gender...)

When I was just a little girl in fancy frills and laces
I went off to sunday school
ansd there between the learning of the prayers and airs and graces
they taught me this golden rule:

turn right, go straight, and heaven will be waitin'
turn right, go straight all the way,
turn right go straight, let there be no hesitatin'
and you'll be right at the end of the day...

I turned right, went straight, just like they had been saying
turned right, went straight for a while,
but right was not the way that my thinking mind was leaning
and straight has never really been my style...
 
My sister in law is Gay

She is more masculine then me and I'm straight and married. The only things she doesn't have that I have is a hairy chest, hairy back, hairy arms and legs. When she and her sister lived in North Carolina my sister in law actually beat up the school bully. This butch woman could probaly change a tire on a car without a jack!

She said she has known all her life she was gay. But to fit the "good old" southern tradition she married a drunk/drifter had a daughter (who is now twelve). She ditched the bum and kinda flew beneath the gay radar for several years. It wasn't until their dad's death from cancer in Sept. 2006 that she finally come out. She said his death made her refocus her life. She seems a lot happier now. Her daughter is a girly-girl just like my wife.

The only problem I have with her sexuality is she has not sat down and had a talk with her daughter about it. I am the only father figure the child has ever known. The sperm donor left when she was three. My niece has kind of hinted around it but I told her "that is something you and your mom needs to talk about". She leaves it at that! I know deep in my heart she will eventually ask me staight out and I will have to tell her. I just my niece prepared so when the other kids here it from someone else she's knows what to say and do.
 
what difference does it make?

We are what we are.

Who knows where orientation enters the picture - nature? nurture? hormones? genetics?

Who cares?

I know masculine women who are 100% straight. I know femme guys who are 100% straight. And i know femme women who are gay, and masculine guys who are gay.

(Please, folks, I'm using stereotypical phrasing above. Do not flame me.)

The one thing I do know is that most people do not adhere to stereotypes, though everyone has some stereotypical characteristics.

But realistically, does it matter where orientation comes from?

If it is a choice people who are homophobic are going to hate queer folks because they made the 'wrong choice.'

If it is genetic people who are homophobic are goign to hate queer folks because they have 'defective genes.'

You can attempt to educate prejudice away. But if you cannot remove it, you must defend yourself from it, and associate with those who are of a like mind.

It is not necessary that everyone like or approve of each other. It is necessary folks do not interfere with other's right to 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.'

Nate
 
oldhouseman

Come on..... It ain't that strange of a question ; it's
Gay Pride Month! Myself, I knew I was different by the time
I was 4 or 5. I also was aware of the fact that it was
in my best interest to be reserved about it; it was 1956 or
57.
 
See now we could flip the question back to sdlee....if your straight was it "learned" that you should go with a woman??? Gawd I cant tell how many times people ask me...when did you know you were gay? I usually respond with something sarcastic that cant be printed here well like the classic...well I knew I was gay the first time I took it up the ... and thought I was in heaven. I know TMI...but that usually shuts them up.
Or I will be nice and ask ..when did you know you were straight? That makes them think. Its no different. Oh and before we get into this "Top and Bottom" thing. We had a conversation last night at the Blues Diner in Melrose...yes its a gay gathering on Monday night...and this guy says he's only a top...I said to him...if I had a dollar for everytime i heard that from someone and you get them home and they have helium heels I would be rich. That shut him up and brought laughter like all hell. Thats why its called being versatile dahlinks.
My 3 cents.
 
What did Patsy and Edina say in Absolutely Fabulous?

Actually it was the grandmother questioning Edina's ex-husband (now gay).

1- "So what was wrong with women? Was there something missing?"
2- (Regarding Edina's lack of commitment an flighty-ness). "Well at least in this relationship [with a man] you have more to hold on to."

It was a laught-riot I tell you!
 
Being gay is not learned

I swear that I always somehow knew, even when I was a little brat. What I had to learn was not to be ashamed of it or embarassed about it.
 
Oh, Gee....

....I would have to say learned.

After all, one gets so much positive reinforcement. I mean, there's:

- The name-calling.
- The bullying.
- The beatings-up
- The patchwork of laws that completely changes the status of your relationship from state to state.
- The school kids who use the work "gay" to refer to everything they find objectionable.
- The unceasing efforts of the Christian right to make sure that the Constitution of this nation applies to everyone but you.
- The molestation by elders and peers who are not honest about who and what they are.
- The almost complete lack of societal and legal support when you're attacked, harassed, raped, or subjected to economic insecurity due to your orientation.
- The vengeful "outings" by people who are covering their own tracks.
- The endless parade of flamboyant, "swishy" stereotypes played for cheap laughs in the media.
- In areas where laws are changing, the people who figure it's perfectly proper to act out their personal prejudice instead of conforming their behaviour to the law, as they are expected to do in every other area of life.
- The silence from family and people you thought were "cool" straight friends when your partner dies.
- Questions like yours.

I mean, with all these fun factors helping you learn to be gay, who wouldn't choose same-sex attraction?

< /heavy sarcasm >
 

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