Graduation Receptions

[frigilux]

It is graduation weekend here in rural southwest Minnesota, and with commencement comes the dutiful, marathonesque cavalcade of receptions.

My question: Most of you hail from larger towns and cities, as well as from areas outside the upper midwest. Are graduation receptions a big deal where you live?

Around here, it is considered a fairly significant affront if you don't stop by the receptions of even casual acquaintances.

The protocol for Expectation-of-Attendance at these functions seems to involve any of the following: You've said "Hi" to them in the grocery store more than once; you do the lift-two-fingers-up-from-the-steering-wheel-wave when your cars pass on the street; you've attended a service in their church, especially if it was a funeral.

It is not uncommon to attend 20+ receptions over graduation weekend.

The menu: Cake is de rigueur, followed by potato and/or pasta salads, sandwiches---shaved ham and turkey still top the list, although serving hot pulled pork/beef sandwiches garner the host extra points for effort---and, finally, but probably most important of all, as it carries the weight of first impression, the punch.

Again, good manners dictate you lavish compliments on any punch which eschews the no-effort-required Kool-Aid + pineapple juice+ ginger ale variety.

Yesterday, for instance, I had a really wonderful rhubarb slush punch, and considering the work involved---and that gallons of the stuff had been made---it took the checkered flag.

Changes in tradition: When I graduated from high school in 1977, my Italian mother dictated the menu. I was certainly not consulted. Today's graduate seems to have more say in the matter. This is the only possible explanation for such eccentricities as walking tacos, s'mores, and root beer float stations (complete with rented soft-serve ice cream machines and a kegs of root beer).

I can state with some certainty that Norwegian/Lutheran mothers were not the point of origin of these rather incongruent inclusions.

Anyway, I'm off to another eight receptions, today. It's a perfect day for them; warm and sunny.

If I do not reappear by tonight, you may assume I succumbed to diabetic shock, LOL.

 

[golittlesport]

Grad party in CA

I'll chime in since we just hosted a college graduation party for my son last week.

The guest list was mostly family - mine, Gary's and my ex's. Right there we had 40 people! My son Aaron carefully added some of his closest friends to bring the total to about 55. There were many friends and extended family we normally invite to BBQs and such that we did not this time. It was more a decision on who we had to cut. No neighbors or casual friends. It was Aaron's day and we let him do the guest list....and pick the menu.

We BBQed the day before and served tri-tip sliders (yum) and chicken drumsticks, along with a pesto pasta salad and green salad. Lots of snacks, included some sushi platters from Costco.

Aaron's girlfriend took care of the cake, which was a cake on top of a cake with the top cake in the shape of grad cap.

Today we are going to my nephew's college graduation party and next month another nephew's high school grad party. It's a busy grad season here.

Personally, I would not feel obligated to attend a party for a neighbor or casual friend. But we make every effort to attend family events.

 

[polkanut]

In central WI, it is as a rule "by invitation only". But I know what you mean Eugene, I have family that lives in SE MN, and everyone goes to every graduation party.

 

[butch-innj]

Just to let you westerners know....graduation weekend
on the east coast is celebrated yesterday (Saturday) and
today (Sunday).

I'm getting ready to attend a couple of them this afternoon.

One is High School and the other one is College.

Oh well, at least I don't have to cook today nor tomorrow.

Tomorrow being Memorial Day, I've been invited to a BBQ
in the afternoon. Everyone is bringing something and I still
havent decided what I'm taking.

 

[polkanut]

If you have access to fresh or frozen rhubarb, might I suggest a Rhubarb Cake? I just made one this morning.

 

[butch-innj]

I've never heard of Rhubarb Cake.....sounds like it'd be very
similar to strawberry flavor.

Could you post the recipe for it?

Thanks !

 

[polkanut]

Here you go Butch,

This recipe was my Grandma Wilde's, I believe that she got it from her sister, Helen. It has been a family favorite for many years.

Rhubarb Cake
1 egg
1 cup white sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
2 cups flour, sifted
2 tsp. baking powder
2 cups diced rhubarb
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup chopped nuts

Combine egg, milk, and baking powder. Beat until smooth. Stir in rhubarb. Pour into a greased & floured 9"x13" oblong cake pan. Combine brown sugar and nuts, sprinkle mixture over batter. Bake 30 minutes @ 350 degrees. Cool before cutting, enjoy.

 

[bugsyjones]

Doesn't cross my mind...

Here in Kansas, or at least in my area, we don't have many of the planned social receptions like that for graduation. I didn't have one and I don't really know anybody who has. All I know is that I haven't attended one, nor have been told that it is 'required.' Perhaps that's just how things are here. Sure graduation is a big deal, but all of the celebrations are usually small ones with friends or family.

Just like weddings, we have a bit of cake, say our congrats, and be on our merry way!

~Tim

 

[launderess]

Speaking For MySelf

And I am unanimous in this.....

One never goes where one is not invited. Even then when one is invited to what is a "family event", one declines graciously, however a present or card is often sent. Just the way one was brought up.

Growing up it was not uncommon for a schoolmate or area child, even a "friend" to invite one over to their house when some sort of party was going to happen, only to be told "no" by MaMa, as it was a "family event", and there were things that people didn't do. Same on our end as well, when things are "Just the family" it is code that the event is not to be shouted from the housetops for all and sundry to attend.

Here most often graduation parties are luncheons, dinners or some such thing held at a restaurant for the most part. Meaning the family and any invited guests go out to a restaurant after the ceremony or maybe later in the day for a small gathering. However big events such as college or high school graduations can and often do have large parties. When my young cousin graduated from high school last year, his parents gave a rather nice BBQ in their back yard for family and friends, and the little one's invited friends.

From a hostess point of view, one simply has to know how many to plan for in terms of food and or refreshments. If the event is planned as a small "cake and coffee" event for family, and a score or more persons show up, one small cake and pot of coffee will go but so far.

L.

 

[frigilux]

I asked several hostesses at today's receptions how many guests they plan for. Only one planned for fewer than 200 people. I believe this to be the primary reason the food served at these receptions is simple and relatively inexpensive.

It must be a small town 'thing'. Many of the graduates simply put up an invitation on the graduates' bulletin at the local high school, one at the community center, and one in their church. Some even put an 'Open House' invitation on the local cable access channel crawl. People show up in droves. It's a close-knit community, that way.

I think 30 households were responsible for feeding most of the town, today. One always hears people remark, "I love graduation weekend; I don't have to cook for two days!"

I've noticed a few more breakfast/brunch receptions this year, especially today. It's easy to have breakfast, lunch and supper if you plan your route correctly.

It's actually kind of fun meeting all the grandparents, cousins, and aunts & uncles.

 

[mattl]

Question, if you go to many receptions, what do you do for gifts? Seems like you could go broke fast in those situations.

 

[launderess]

Same Standard For Young People's Birthdays

Card with generous cash gift.

For those heading off to college, it comes in very welcome indeed. You have no idea what it costs to fit a child out for his freshman year. Hint, laptop computer is required from day one. That should give you an idea.

Of course it depends upon how well one knows the child. As with birthdays it is not uncommon for the young person to drop *hints* to parents, close family and such as to what they want as a gift.

This is of course all just how we do things. Then again one is the sort of person that was raised never to go to anyone's home empty handed, so would feel "strange" not having something to give to the "man/woman of the hour so to speak", even if that means stopping by a card store and a ATM beforehand.

L.

 

[frigilux]

Gifts: Matt, you're absolutely right! Unless you are a close friend (or relative) of the graduate, a card and a small cash gift are in order.

I buy bulk packs of nondescript little "Congratulations!" cards which are the size of a small Thank You card. I write a pithy message inside and tuck in a $5 bill. If I'm very good friends with the family of the graduate, I'll make it $10. While this may appear to be very miserly, it's the norm in this area.

I guess it's the Costco principle: Volume, volume, volume. If you get 100-250 "paying customers" at your reception, and most give you only $5, you still come out of it with a nice chunk of change.

You have to remember that in very small towns, doing the "reception crawl" is a big social event. I mean, it's nice that the kid graduated and all, but they're really just an excuse for everyone to get together, catch up, and see the inside of everyone's house. It's terribly quaint, I know, LOL.

 

[whirlcool]

From the time we moved into this neighborhood, we have been invited to graduation ceremonies, graduation parties or any event that requires a gift. Most of the time we hardly know the people. It's a bit aggravating.
At one of the parties for the 18 year old kid across the street, I asked him what college he plans to go to. His response "I think I'll bum around a few years and then think about college". So I told him I thought that was a rather bad idea as people who usually do that usually end up never going at all. His mother swooped in on the conversation and asked my why I have such an interest in her son! I told her I was only offering some information that he should really take to heart.

 

[xraytech]

In our area graduation parties are by invitation only, and only for high school graduation, typically you dont have a party for college graduation. sometimes held at the home but more often at a park with a pavilion or a fire department or church social hall so you aren't bothered with the hastle at home.
It is typical here to invite most or all of the members of your class(our High school graduating class on average is only 45-55 people), also your neighbors, all of your family, and any family friends. It is somewhat of an expectation that you come, but if you can't you must send a card with a monetary gift, otherwise it is considered rude.

The typical fare for a graduation party is:
fried chicken
roast beef
rigatoni
macaroni/potato salad
kielbalsa or hot sausage sandwiches
pasta salad
baked beans
usually cabbage rolls
assorted desserts
cake
assorted soft drinks, and depending on who is hosting the party beer/wine coolers
often times now people dont want the bother of preparing the food and pay to have it catered which I feel is just no the same

For my graduation party we hosted about 250-275 people in our home and served a large homemade buffet, consisting of: macaroni salad, potato salad, pasta salad, cole slaw, tossed salad, fruit salad, broccoli salad, fried chicken, rigatoni, meatballs, cabbage rolls, roast beef, green bean casserole, baked beans, parslied potatoes, hot sausage, kielbalsa and sauerkraut, cold cut trays, about 20 assorted desserts, and cake.

As for gifts it is usually monetary gifts only, sometimes the immediate family will buy gifts of things needed for school, or a keepsake item,(for example I recieved a .75 carat diamond ring from grandma for graduation)neighbors and family friends give between $20-$50, more distant family usually gives $50-$75, and immediate family usually gives between $100-$300.
The graduates friends you can expect anywhere from nothing from most and $10-$20 from the ones who were properly raised.
Also being in a largley Catholic area where first holy communion and confirmation parties are often as big as a graduation party the graduates God-Parents must attend, and usually give a large monetary gift in the same range as the immediate family.

For the average graduate having invited 200-300 people it is not uncommon to recieve $2500-$3500 in gifts.