While reading this thread
I became amazed at how much love, support and togetherness that this AW forum has shown someone who could be you or me. I'm quite new to this forum (I did post my too-large photo on the other thread)and am still shaking my head at the support that the family here (yup, it's a family)has provided. Something else that gladdened my heart...no straight men chiming in with crude jokes or insults. Not that all men of that persuasion behave in that manner, it's just nice to see that we're all so..civil. At least when one of us has intense pain in his/her life.
I'm in a stable partnership of 12.5 years, and if I can add anything to what has already been posted, it's this:
You MUST have clear communication and honesty in a relationship. You simply cannot work on a "Oh, I thought you knew about XX", or "Oh, you always.." Nope. Doesn't work.
And for your sake (not God's), DON'T LIE TO ONE ANOTHER. Lies don't work, and you always, always always get caught. Or worse yet, you have to tell another lie (or series of lies) to maintain the original lie. There's a fine and subtle difference between being brutally honest (God, you're fat!)and telling the truth.
My partner suffered a stroke and lost his eyesight completely about 10 years ago. He went from "acclaimed hairdresser of 25 years" to "blind guy" overnight. Life'll do that to you when you least expect it to. That said, we have to use different ways of communicating in our relationship. We have to talk more than we ever did when he was sighted and busy 6 days a week. It changed our relationship in a thousand subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It also got me over my "perfectionist" streak in a big hurry.
After reading this thread, I walked into the bedroom where he was napping and kissed him. "What was that for?" he asked. "Oh, I was just reminding myself what lucky, lucky boys we are", I replied. He's 18 years my senior, HIV+ and blind, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Love your partner/wife/husband. Tell them you love them every day, and, if necessary, fight like hell if there's something there to fight for. Life and love are truly precious things, they're an all-too-rare commodity in this instant hook-up Internet world in which we live.
Just my .02 from a new member.
~Out
I became amazed at how much love, support and togetherness that this AW forum has shown someone who could be you or me. I'm quite new to this forum (I did post my too-large photo on the other thread)and am still shaking my head at the support that the family here (yup, it's a family)has provided. Something else that gladdened my heart...no straight men chiming in with crude jokes or insults. Not that all men of that persuasion behave in that manner, it's just nice to see that we're all so..civil. At least when one of us has intense pain in his/her life.
I'm in a stable partnership of 12.5 years, and if I can add anything to what has already been posted, it's this:
You MUST have clear communication and honesty in a relationship. You simply cannot work on a "Oh, I thought you knew about XX", or "Oh, you always.." Nope. Doesn't work.
And for your sake (not God's), DON'T LIE TO ONE ANOTHER. Lies don't work, and you always, always always get caught. Or worse yet, you have to tell another lie (or series of lies) to maintain the original lie. There's a fine and subtle difference between being brutally honest (God, you're fat!)and telling the truth.
My partner suffered a stroke and lost his eyesight completely about 10 years ago. He went from "acclaimed hairdresser of 25 years" to "blind guy" overnight. Life'll do that to you when you least expect it to. That said, we have to use different ways of communicating in our relationship. We have to talk more than we ever did when he was sighted and busy 6 days a week. It changed our relationship in a thousand subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It also got me over my "perfectionist" streak in a big hurry.
After reading this thread, I walked into the bedroom where he was napping and kissed him. "What was that for?" he asked. "Oh, I was just reminding myself what lucky, lucky boys we are", I replied. He's 18 years my senior, HIV+ and blind, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Love your partner/wife/husband. Tell them you love them every day, and, if necessary, fight like hell if there's something there to fight for. Life and love are truly precious things, they're an all-too-rare commodity in this instant hook-up Internet world in which we live.
Just my .02 from a new member.
~Out
