Here comes the Groom

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I saw this episode last night and it brought wonderful memories of me and my partner getting married last summer. In Canada it is 100% legal to get married!

We had over 200 guests at our wedding (many of them were old ladies with hats…lol) We had an outdoor ceremony at a park off of the ocean, officiated by an Unitiarian Minister and a reception in an Italian Hall with a large commercial kitchen (I think I spent more time playing around with the Hobart Dishwasher!!!).

Our wedding went really well. The day before, we had over 15 friends come by the hall and park to help us stuff cannelloni noodles, fry meatballs, roll buns, and decorate. Later that night, I picked up my sisters from the airport. Being that I was raised as an Italian Catholic, my parents had issues about gay weddings and choosed not to attend, however they accept the fact that I am gay and adore my partner (I think they may have regreted not attending it).

The wedding day was very special. In the morning, I was busy baking 400 buns and warming up the sauce. In my head, I could hear my mom’s voice, “Why don’t you just buy the buns from Safeway? It would be much easier.” However, I wanted to make sure our guests smelled the aroma of freshly baked bread and tomato sauce as they arrived in the hall – just as I remember when I visited Grandma and Grandpa house.

As my partner and I started to head back home to change for the wedding, we decided to drive to a store and buy new shirts and ties (YES, we forgot to buy our clothes for the wedding). We were relieved that we did not encounter anyone we knew at the store. When we got back home (with 40 minutes to spare), our sisters helped us get ready. When we arrived at the park, I was so relaxed and happy to see our friends and family. Many of my cousins, aunts, and uncles made a special trip that day. I was bit sad not to see my parents. This wedding was so meaningful for us. Many friends also came that day to give us their blessing. Everyone looked smashing and happy!

My partner and I really loved our ceremony. Our native friend designed our rings. He carved our rings with a salmon and frog. After the ceremony, we all went to the Italian Hall, and my husband and I served everyone wine, appetizers, homemade buns, watermelon salad, cannelloni, spare ribs, meatballs, and wedding cake with ice cream. By the way, this was lunch! We were pleasantly surprised that our friends, two extremely fine singers, performed some very lovely and touching songs to honour us and our guests. Our sisters gave wonderful toasts.

Before the wedding, the Food network wanted to film our wedding on national TV because it was unique and interesting. We chosen not to as it would have taken the appeal of the wedding away.

Bob
 
Great show! Great episode!

Thanks for starting this thread Robert.

Yes, it's network TV. And, as most of us know, network TV has its pitfalls and limitations. But, personally, for a network show, I think it is well written; the characters are somewhat complex for a change (more so than typical network TV anyway); and it has a stellar cast. Yes, it's a little reminiscent of Thirty Something--well, after all, it is produced by Ken Olin and his wife Patricia Wettig is part of the ensemble cast.

If you missed it, you can watch the full episode online. Follow the link below.

On a slightly separate topic...

IMHO, one of the wonderful things about being part of the Automatic Washer and Vacuumland families is gleaning insights from the many diverse perspectives members bring to this forum. This thread is a prime example of just how different our thinking can be. I personally, see it as a wonderful learning opportunity.

There were many valid points brought up above. (I agree most strongly with what our dear Mr. Toggleswitch wrote.) And, I've lived in Los Angeles and San Francisco long enough to see the truth in what speed_queen75 and Brent-Aucoin wrote. However, IMHO, as Steve wrote, life truly is what you make of it and how you choose to view any situation or circumstance. These clubs are a prime example. Think about how awesome it is that we've all found one another and have this fabulous forum that Robert created where we can meet, exchange ideas, share our passions and build incredible friendships. I have. And, I am grateful.

I too have seen the seemlier side of "gay culture" and found it very depressing. When I was younger (and even now, from time to time) I felt I was a victim to the more negative aspects of "gay society," i.e., the adonis complex and shallow attitudes, and that they were beyond my control. And, then it started to dawn on me that if I wanted things to be different, it was up to me. (You know... If it's meant to be, it's up to me.) Instead of being angry and resentful, I tried treating others the way that I wanted and expected to be treated (you know... do unto others) and I started finding more and more people who felt like me. And, I began to encounter less attitude. (More gratitude, less attitude.) One of the greatest manifestations of the camaraderie, friendship, generosity and kindness to which I'm referring has been through the many wonderful, down-to-earth people I've met through this club and the Vacuum Cleaner Collector's Club. It's there if you really want to find it.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/brothersandsisters/index?pn=index
 
Gay or straight, there is more in common than not. You don't think there are superficial straits out there? What straight guy has not been crushed by a girl who thought he wasn't up to her standards? The things that Speed Queen posted about gays can pretty much be applied to certain portions of the straight world.

I really believe it boils down to your attitude. Speed Queen and to some extent Brent remind me of my cousin. We are about the same age, and are both working on houses at the moment. He is suspicious and somewhat resentful, I am not. I've purchased 10s of thousands of dollars of stuff at Home Depot and have had great service. People have gone far and above finding and getting me the things I've needed. He swears he will never go into HD because he was treated so poorly, we have the exact opposite experience. We are both doing the same thing, spending the same money but with very different outcomes. It's because of his perceptions, just as Speed Queen perceives life in a certain way and it meets his expectations, so does my cousin.

It ultimately comes down to we get what we expect and what we project.
 
poor robert....

you guys have probably made him sorry he even posted this.

oh well I think the question that should be on everyones mind is why the hell would anyone marry Kevin??????!!!!!!

From the get go episode number one he has been a big cry baby, nothings ever good enough for him, and he treats his lovers (not to mention family members) like so much dog shit.I seriously quit watching the show coz I think hes a poor representation for the gays

Now that said I dont know what Hollywood has done for his charector these last episodes but obviously this guy married him. It had to be for love, right? On brothers and sisters nobody makes life changing decisions for anything but love right?

lol....it is funny what this episode and thread has brought out of the woodwork.

personally I would have married Justin, a lot less trouble and so much better looking (ooooh that wasnt shallow,was it?)
 
That was a very very sweet ceremony. Too bad (for her) he probably looked better and carried the teddy/neglige better than she did.

Now in terms of negativity. NO NO NO NO . It just attracts more negativity and tragedy.

 
Robert, again I must say Thank You for sharing this video clip. Negativity does breed negativity, Thank You Toggle.

I have read the above postings and just have to say, there are many things written above that have some truth and obviously have brought up some bad memories of our past.

The comment above about the rings..if you had watched watched the whole show, you would realize that they were not planning a wedding, nor were they going to use rings, it was simply going to be a commitment ceremony...nothing more. There was not even going to be flowers...just a simple ceremony. However, his brother and sisters and other family members gave up their wedding rings and handed them to the new couple. Also his family made sure that there were flowers and that this would be a memorable day for each of them...

Kevin's mother embraced Scotti and welcomes him to the family. Kevin and his brothers, by his brothers choice, drive hundreds of miles to convince Scotti's parents to attend the wedding...because they do care about their brother and what makes him happy...

I realize this may not be a real world event for all, and it probably brings up a lot of bad memories for many of us here, but positive energy spreads the very same way negative energy spreads...let's hope that this TV scene can help wake up many here in America, make them realize that Love is just that LOVE and why should two people gay or straight be separated for any reason.

By the way, I hate the term FAG HAG, why can't she just be the best friend of the person...just because someone is gay, that makes the company she is with something different...I have several female friends and I would never refer to them as a fag hag...I have more respect for myself than that.

Morgan
 
Feh

Geee, I post a nice little happy wedding ceremony that I saw on tv the night before that made me happy to see and it turns into all this. (***acts as if he didn't know that in advance***) lol

I think alot of queers need to take a lesson from straight men, who are more than likely to love a woman for her qualities and not her looks, unlike the queers

I'm sorry but that statement is so not fair to us gay men and I have to say that this has to be the most preposterous statement I've heard in a long time. Have you ever spoken to any straight women? They are constantly complaining about how men are "lookist". The term "men are pigs" was invented by women about straight men. Have you seen the statistics on cosmetic surgery, in 2007 "Women had 92 percent of cosmetic procedures". (link: http://www.cosmeticplasticsurgerystatistics.com/statistics.html#2007-FACTS ) You can bet that these women are not having surgeries to please gay men.

As for having one partner after the next, don't even get me started on the heterosexual divorce rate, according to the stats on the web:

50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.” Talk about having one marriage after the next.

My point is the evidence clearly shows that men are men, gay, straight, bi, we're all the same.
 
Yes true men are men.

But at least i know that my straight friends, whom i might add out number my gay friends by far, are in relationships cause they love the quality of their women, and not their looks alone, yes men are pigs, what i have found to be true, especially where i live, is that the gay community is very frowned upon, for being shallow self centered, and down right stuck up, there is one gay club where i live, called Images, to even enter in this club you have to have a certain body type, be of a certain age, if you don't meet those requirements, forget it you ain't getting in, One prime example of the way gay men are in my town, is this one friend of mine, Lance, he will NOT date any guy unless they are hairless, tall, his cut off height is 6'3", built like a brick shit house, oh yes and they must be EXTREMELY masculine, drive an suv, and be hung. Now if that ain't shallow i don't know what is, i mainly have straight friends, girls and guys, with whom i am very close to, and i have grown up with them, and can tell you that they are TOTALLY, a different breed, when it comes to what they are looking for in a woman, or a man, most of them look for good wholesome qualities, and not how big they are and, what kinda xcar they drive, or even how many times a week they work out.
That is why i admire and love Nathan, he has the same thinking i do, and shares the same thoughts about the gay community, he too has been BURNED several times by many of the guys, cause he don't look right, or because he is a little on the puggy side, but what they failed to look at was Nathan as a person, and not as a body figure, i see Nathan for Nathan, his good qualities, his sense of humor, his awesome personality, his ability, to overcome most any situation and the way he uplifts me when i am have a bad day, i did not get with him cause he is hung, or because he drives a Chevy Z71, or makes $80.000.00 a year, or anything like that, i love him for who he is along with his faults, let's face it we all have them. I am not trying to down anyone, or attack anybody on this site, you guys are AWESOME people and i am VERY honored to be a member of this wonderful site, all i am saying is, i hate seeing the gay community looked down upon, because many of them have given the community a horrible reputation, that is why I am different, i don't frequent the clubs, or go to pride, i stay out of the "scene" completely. I just wish that if we are going to be gay, then we should be different in our thinking and in the way we treat others, " and i am talking about the rotten apples here", and not so shallow in our thinking, that to be gay and to have a lover, you have to be in this category "OR ELSE". I know most here think i am negative etc etc, but i am seeing the reality of things, especially in my home town, i mean come on the only gay club we have here has requirements to even get in the door, and that is VERY sad.

In closing, i want to say, i think all you guys on here are great examples of what real gay men are supposed to be, and i am so glad i am a member of this truly awesome site.

With Love Lee..
 
Part of the Problem:

One thing that I've often wished is that people- of all genders and orientations- would not do is to patronise any establishment that practises "face control". By this, I mean what Lee has mentioned- if you don't look a certain way, you're not getting in. Such a practise is discrimination, pure if not exactly simple. It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of other physical characteristics, such as race or gender- why on Earth should it be legal to discriminate on the basis of good looks or lack thereof?

Any place that practises "face control" is a place that does not deserve anyone's money, let alone the money of the gay community. How can any thinking person fight the good fight against workplace and societal discrimination on one hand, and enjoy themselves in a place where only the beautiful are tolerated on the other? Everyone is discriminated against at some point or other. If you're lucky enough to be beautiful and rich when you're young, just wait- there's a whole bunch of discrimination waiting for you when you get older. The only way to put an end to discrimination is to demand better- not only of others, but of ourselves. The day we pick our friends and associates for physical characteristics over which they had no control, we're no better than your average KKK member.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this is a subject very close to my heart.
 
<blockquote>... the only gay club we have here has requirements to even get in the door, and that is VERY sad.</blockquote>Perhaps you could find some success (both business and personal) by opening a club with no restrictions.
 
but i am seeing the reality of things,

Yeah well Lee, I'm sorry but in my opinion I don't think you are. The fact that you use statements like "my straight friends, whom i might add out number my gay friends by far" is very telling. While I do agree with you that there are certainly a lot of guys who have a so called "attitude" because of how they think they look, I've seen just as much of this "attitude" with young straight men in terms of the kinds of women they would only date. Its the way human beings are wired. Maybe in your particular situation you do surround yourself with mature, non-shallow straight people but that's not the norm out here in the real world. To spout out about how the gay community is disliked because of this so called "shallowness" that supposedly is so much more prevalent in our world than in the straight world is completely unrealistic. I read a couple of anti-gay web sites everyday (to keep up with the enemy and get a good laugh at their warped sense of what is right and wrong) and I have never read anything remotely close to that subject. Its usually the same two or three reasons over and over about why we are so "bad", but I've never read that they think gay people are bad because some young hot rich gays guys give the non-hot gay guys some attitude.

On the other hand I have seen in my life people being turned away (or made to stand and wait for hours in line) from both straight and gay clubs, but this was in New York City and Los Angeles, I've never heard of it happening here in Minneapolis (although I have seen private parties arranged that way here) so I find it very odd that it would happen in a small city in Tennessee, but stranger things have happened.
 
Attitude is part of human life . . .

and it happens to all kinds of people, straight or gay. As has been pointed out here, there is little to be gained from immediately separating gays from straights because deep down most people are more similar than dissimilar to one another.

One thing I love about AW is that nobody here worries much about sexuality, yet they aren't afraid of it either - that's the way the world should work.
 
Robert, Don't Show Any More Clips!!

You're spoiling the surprise for us yins in the UK! Were only on Episode 7 of Series Two.
 
Men in general...

As a gay man that has a disability, I will agree with Lee that there's a segment of gay men that are stuck up. There are also many others that are wondreful. Men in general tend to have more unrealistic criteria for friends and lovers. I recently commented to a friend that I hope I live long enough to see another friend date someone his age.

Before anyone that has an older/younger partner chimes in here let me explain. The issue is with someone that specifically is seeking a partner of a (usually) much younger age.

Lee, I symapathize with you. Small towns can be a bitch. Look a bit harder and you'll find some better gay men to hang with. They're out here! :-)
 
I don't think anyones wholly right or wrong here. I've certainly seen the attitude Lee speaks of and I summize a lot of it can be attributed to young gay guys finally out on their own after quite a few years growing up under a great deal of stress, harassment, shame, guilt, closeting, any one or combination of those things or more. Free at last and what else but a little bit out of control or trying to hard to make a better life for themselves without all those "restrictions" that certainly didn't apply to the straight guys from puberty on who were free of the guilt and shame etc. To put it another way straight guys get to sow their wild oats pretty publicly from a young age while the closeted gay guy can't.
In the end though you choose your friends and what you want to make of your life. I firmly believe you can have anything you want if you want it bad enough and stick to it. It worked for me and my partner of 25 years. Neither of us grew up with silver spoons and nobody handed us a free ticket.
 
So, Lee, how do you deal with our "preferences". How do you see one is supposed to deal with their "preferences". Most guys want their "opposite" (and I could name guys on here) rather than someone that looks like them and that puts me in the minority, I want someone who looks like me or even more of me (furry, weight, but not grizzly). I've given up.

5-15-2008-21-52-18--appnut.jpg
 

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