How appliances keep my life going - hopefully a heartwarming story

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Throughout the past few years I have had a lot of bad happened to me personally and my family. On 25th November 2000 my dad had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital in the middle hours of the morning. I remember being disturbed by the ambulance people in the middle of the night, however didn't get out of bed and the next morning I just passed it off as a dream. However, that was until my nana came downstairs telling me that my dad had been taken to hospital and mum was there with him in intensive care. Being 11 at the time I didn't know how to react, and just tried to ignore what was happening as I didn't know how to react. After my dad had heart surgery the following day, the medicines they gave him triggered another heart attack, and also multiple strokes. This meant him having to stay in hospital for a long period of time, and was in a coma from 26th November 2000 through to 28th December 2000. I hardly saw any of my mum who was almost always at his bedside, and my nana and grandad moved in here to look after my brother, sister and me. What was worse is that we spent Christmas 2000 not knowing whether my dad would make it to New Year or not. He was given a 1 in 100 chance of surviving what he had gone through, and as you could probably imagine we as a family felt a combination of upset, hurt, stress, and guilt. I was 11 years old and had to comfort my mum crying. Eleven years old, and I was the only one that could support my mum as for my age I had a very mature personality. Just the pain of seeing my dad in that hospital bed on Christmas day with mum sat beside him holding back her tears was enough pain to last me 5 lifetimes. I hate to imagine what my siblings were going through; my little brother was only 7 at the time, bless him. Miraculously, my dad was sitting up in bed and talking by New Years day 2001. I am grateful to whatever power over us made my dad pull through slim chances of survival. He however had suffered brain damage due to surgery on his brain to stop his strokes. He was in rehabilitation during the beginning of 2001, and came out in early March. He was still very mentally ill though in the sense of brain damage. HE still has the intelligence up there, however he had trouble getting his words out and more often than not either said the wrong things or couldn't say what he wanted to at all. This used to frustrate him so much and it was so upsetting to see other people treat him as an outcast because of this. Fortunately he has gotten better over the past 4 1/2 years, to the point where now sometimes you'd wonder if he ever was really ill. He still has trouble remembering some things and getting his words out; but it is a mega improvement over how he was like at Christmas 2000. Where he is now today is truly amazing, seeming as he only had a 1 in 100 chance of survival! It still causes a lot of pain nowadays, though, to see how because of my dad's illness our family life has changed drastically to the extent where my mum is now the breadwinner of the house and the way how roles have changed. Us three as offspring have also matured a hell of a lot due to what's happened to us throughout the past 4 years.

Another big pain in my life was the fact that I was gay. When I first realised that I fancied men instead of women (I was about 11 at the time), I didn't know what to do and saw myself as an outcast. Bear in mind at the time all these things were happening with my dad being in hospital. I was utterly confused in myself inside, and really thought that I was wrong in the head. However, as my teenage years went on, I learnt to accept who I was and became happier. That was until I confided in someone who I thought I could trust. That day was the worst of my life - I told this girl that I was gay thinking that she'd keep quiet, and the next day at school everyone was talking about it and taunting me. People who were my "friends" started to avoid me. I would hear people talking about me being gay as if I wasn't there. I'd get the usual "queer", "gay", "fag" comments shouted at me. This all continued for the next year or so, and at that point I really did have few friends. As I became older I learnt to ignore all the homophobic behaviour to the point nowadays where I really couldn't care less to what peopel thought. I had to go through the pain of falling in love with a straight guy for 2 years - I just couldn't accept the fact that he was straight and that I never had a chance with him, ever. However things seemed to get better in early 2003 when I met my first boyfriend. It was a long-distance online relationship, however we managed to last 10 months. However even until now I still feel so much pain of what he did to me (to cut a long story short, he was a d**khead to me, and only wanted me for the sex and to look good for having a boyfriend). Not to mention the fact that not long after breaking up I found out he had cheated on me no less than 6 times. I'm still emotionally unstable about the whole subject at times; but nowadays I tend to think to myself "Look Jon, your strong, he was a b**tard, you dont need him doing this to you" and I hold my head up high. But (most of the time) I hold myself above him, I'll no longer let him get to me anymore.

Add on top of these two major problems stress from school; being treated as a "social retard" because I don't follow fashions, and being called "boring" because I'm interested in appliances, my life really has been hell at times for me in the past few years. But what I can say, is that throughout all the bad times, I've always had my interest in appliances there to keep me sane and to keep me going. It lets me forget about the world and it's problems, and enables me to relax. There's nothing better to relieve stress than doing a couple loads of laundry, or going down the launderette and listening to the washers and dryers whirring, winding, hissing, clunking away.

In a nutshell; appliances and laundry have managed to keep me sane through thick and thin. Anytime I'm stressed, I know all I have to do to cheer myself up is grab some dirty clothes, a box of Fairy, and find a washing machine, and away goes my stress!

What's more, is the fact that I know I can come to this board and read about appliances - old and new, as well as THS, and although I don't post frequently, I always get a warm feeling - a sense of community, a sense of being welcome even if it's just to lurk around reading the posts. I have met a few good friends on here - Louis being one of them, that I know I will have for life.

I know this has probably been a tedious read, and nobody else probably wants to hear my problems, but I just want people to know how my interest in appliances has managed to keep me going.

I would like to end by giving a great big thank you to appliances and especially Classic Appliances, for giving me something to fall back on whatever is happening in my life.

Jon
 
friends

I can only assume that the friends in the picture on your website have turned out to be your REAL friends. There's a lot more support out there for Gay teens, so take advantage of it and carry on.
 
I enjoyed your post Jon

I didn't find it to be tedious at all. What good is a board like this if we cannot share personal feelings and concerns.

I am glad to hear your Dad is doing better. My Mother has suffered from a series of small strokes which has greatly affected her ability to speak and understand language. The doctor said its called progressive something or other effasia, which means she still has her marbles, but cannot talk well. We thought she had alzhiemers when this first started happening. I was always closest to my Mother (really? a gay man who's close to his mother? really?) and it kills me that I cannot talk to her the way I used to-the tears come easily....

I am relieved to see that you have all the "coming out" BS behind you. I wasted so much of my youth at that river in egypt-Denial!!!

Things will get better! I was so glad to finally get away from school and live in the adult world, where what you wear is not so important- its who you ARE.

Hope you eventually find the needle in the haystack- I did and its worth the wait for the right person.

This is a cool place to hang out and forget your troubles!
 
Jon, in a lot of ways I can relate to your pain of accepting who you are. Mine was different in that I have physical impairments that during growing up, my peers were many times harsh and teasing. The sexuality issue came 30+ years later. My psychotherapists were fascinated about my keen fascination and knowledge with appliances, particularly washers and dishwashers. I cam to the realization appliances were my friends when no one else would be and that's what helped me get through my gorwing up years.

And yes, Louis (I call him Luigi) is an incredible, awesome man who I cherrish also.

My best to you. Bob
 
Hi Jon,

Very heartwarming story indeed. Sorry to hear about your Dad; glad he's OK now. What a miraculous recovery as well.

I am straight, but can relate to gay people being taunted and I don't think it's right at all. Everyone should be treated equally; bottom line. And that girl doesn't know what "secret" means, either. You shouldn't let her get away with that bulls**t, IMHO.

Finally, I agree that doing a load of laundry is the best way to relieve stress! I can vouch for that! When I stay up late, working on homework and there's a lot of laundry, I sort and wash! Something about the agitator action that's peaceful...not sure what it is. In case you're wondering...here's what I'm using...a 2003 Maytag "Dependable Care" with a fast-stroke (120 SPM) "Orbital" transmission and a Power-Fin agitator from the "Helical Drive" mechanism which makes for EXCELLENT clothes turnover and good lint filtration. Somewhat of a water hog though, but I don't care. I will ALWAYS use top-loaders!

--Austin
 
Thanks

Hey guys,

Thanks to your kind responses - I didn't expect that kind of response! Fortunately now I'm older and wiser they say (now 17 as of last Friday :-D) I have become a stronger person and my response to anybody now who criticises my sexuality is "So what?". And that girl I could "trust" - 3 years on and she's the one nobody trusts at all now, and she's lost all her popularity.

Austin,

How I wish we had toploaders here! As much as I love frontloaders (my AEG in particular :-D) I'll always have a soft spot for toploaders. I've used a commercial Maytag before and to be honest wasn't impressed with the results - I ended up having gunk deposited all over my clothes. However I put this down to being a coin-op, which also had a relatively short wash time (about 5 mins I timed it, and 1 min in rinse). Hopefully I'll be able to afford to come to the next convention (wouldn't be able to afford a flight to this years's convention - my spare money is in my "iBook" fund) so I can truly experience the beauties of toploaders.

BTW, I sent you an email earlier on Austin, did you get it? I'm not sure if it's sent properly or not - I've recently downloading Mozilla Thunderbird and have been tweaking about with the settings.

Jon

PS here is a pic of my AEG washing whites, although it's not as exciting as your toploader pic I'm afriad :-(.
 
Austin, your pic gave me quite a chuckle. The collision of two Maytag worlds.

Jon, I thought the pic was very exciting. I'm such a sucker for a front loader. Nice to see the beads of water and the whites caught in mid-air LOL.
 
Austin, your pic gave me quite a chuckle. The collision of two Maytag worlds.

Jon, I thought the pic was very exciting. I'm such a sucker for a front loader. Nice to see the beads of water and the whites caught in mid-air LOL.
 
Jon,...i am glad to hear of your dad's recovery,thank God for that. When i finally get a camera i will post some pictures of my appliances (very soon).
That is one thing we all truly have in common,the love of doing laundry.I love wash days and getting to use my washer.

Even if it is a modern DD TL.I really love the old style toploaders,but i am really starting to get swayed by some of the newer fl machines,particularly Miele front loaders.

They may cost a fortune but the quality that these machines exude is readily apparent.Who knows maybe one day :-).

God bless friend.

Pat
 
letting down our hair

Jon i can relate to family problems.Last August i lost my brother to a massive heart attack and he was only 44.He was my only sibling.
These last 6 months have been very emotional and now my mom has the beginnings of Emphysema (sp?).My dad and mom are getting up in years and now i try to make every moment count.

Man this is what really counts in the end and that is RELATIONSHIPS. Posessions are nice,but they can't tell you they love you.I don't know but it usually seems like it take sickness or death to really start putting things in perspective. And many times we do not realize it until it's too late.
What i wouldn't give to have my brother Rich back again,we were always close.

We should all just thank the good lord above for every morning we wake up and go about our days with our jobs, families and the friends we hold close to our hearts.

Applianceville has really become so much more of an interesting and close knit group of people.On the account of people opening up their hearts and homes and the tons of knowledge and pictures that the members have provided over the years.

I don't think there is a site out there that makes you feel readily welcome like these folks have.

God bless to everyone in Applianceville.Thanks Robert for a site that just keeps growing and flourishing.

Pat
 
Jon:

I am so glad to hear that your father is better. I know how stressful illness can be, especially when children are involved. The great thing is that the worst is behind him (and you), and you can look forward to a happy life together as a family.

Take it from the mom of a teenager and one who has been a teenager herself....it can be tough! There is so much pressure for teens to be "perfect"; rich, beautiful, smart, popular, etc. Be true to yourself, and most importantly - like yourself. I promise you; at your ten year high school reunion, it will not have mattered a bit what you wore or who you hung out with.

BTW love your AEG. Keep on washin'......

Venus
 
I can definitely say I can relate to the experiences that you have, luckily, I haven't had to go through a near-death experience during my childhood with one of my parents. Thank God your Father was able to recover so well from such a rough experience! Even though I grew up a hetrosexual male, I was still teased a lot because I was a small person who didn't like sports. Instead, I'd rather stay at home and disassemble an old appliance to see how it worked, fix it up and make it run.

The knack for repairing things has helped my career out though, and is a love I still possess. As an electronics technician, I love my job of installing and servicing sight and sound equipment. Anything electrical or mechanical really strikes my fancy though, be it cars, automobiles, electonics...you name it!

Yes, people have thought of me as totally weird too for getting excited about a washing machine, fridge or any other appliance. I have a knack for picking them out like most people can identify automobiles by the sound of their engines (a GM fridigaire compressor has a distinct sound). My parents fussed at me for bringing home junk, and tole me to get out and play instead of messing around in the garage all day.

I still have terrible social skills when around other people, and is the reason I remain single to my current age of 30. I can understand the mood and language of a mechanical device easier than I can understand another human. I'm not sure what's up with this. I'm an outgoing person and I love meeting other people, but I somehow must annoy people with my conversation. I guess it's because I don't like to gossip and talk about other people. I'd rather talk about some new discovery I made while rummaging around under the hood.

I guess too my personal style lacks behind society just like you describe too. I don't follow the trends, and I find the latest fashions terribly tacky and ugly (both men's and women's clothing) Washing the latest fashions can be more fun than wearing them! I prefer some of the styles of the men's clothes sixties a bit better that what's avaliable today, which totally goes agains the grain of today's baggy fashions. This even follows through in my house. I love many of the architectural styles of homes in the 50's.

I grew up 20 years out of my era, that's for sure. The 50's were a time of optimism. It seemed like nobody had any worries about our country's future back then....The vision of the future in the 50's was filled with fast cars, homes filled with automated appiances and robots, rocket ships, and many other technologies. Superheros on the televison screen and comic books were role models, instead of the sleezy sports stars and movie actors of today's world
 
It is good to know that there are other people who feel the way you do Cybrvanr.I always thought it was just me.It is like some unwritten code that as a male you are automatically supposed to love sport of all kinds and know how to act and what to say and who is cool and who is not...all just Bull S##t.
I don't know,but i would rather sit around a bunch of people talking about their washers and other not so common topics.

Somehow the love of sport is supposed to be a reflection of winners and losers, or that is the impression i have always had.It teaches team spirit,selflessness and some other bs that i have rarely seen. Sport just seems like an artificial measuring stick for self worth.
It is how we treat everyone in the end that will matter.
Hey i could be a great basketball player but be a womanizer,a gambler and even worst case scenario a murderer.But hey man i can run with a ball...LOOK AT ME.

No offense to anyone who loves sport,but the pain of rejection still hurts from wanting to be one of the "in crowd".Yeah right.
 
Steve:
Your lifestyle almost parrallels mine-I too am an electronics tech-I mostly repair and operate very high powered SW broadcast transmitters-I also repaired radio-TV station studio gear.I also don't have an interest in sports either-and other kids in school didn't like that. Was teased as well.I too like electrical-electronic,mechanical gadgets. Primarily analog type sound gear.analog ISN'T obeselete-there is ALWAYS a way to play it back!And also folks thought of me as a "geek"Guess all tech minded folks are thought of that way.I am more ingoing-would prefer to work at a "quiet" transmitter site than a bustling studio.Like working in the studio at night when it was quiet-worked there on a MID shift!Got things done!I was born in the 50's and grew up during the 60's.loved both periods-Would like to board the next time machine!Got all kinds of movies from the 50's and 60's.I am not married either-I am 53!Guess all my appliances,vacuum cleaners,books,movies and movie posters would crownd them out!Also a collection of transmitter tubes.Those are going too as transmitters are going solid state.Yes I too can understand machines more so than other people!And the transmitters I work with now date from the 40's,60's and 80's.Have worked with all types of commercial broadcast transmitters and studio gear.
PS: the only "sport" I like is pro wrestling-Got hooked on it as a kid-still watch it today-gots all kinds of videos of it.
 
Jon, you are a strong and courageous person to have endured what you have in your young life. I am glad your father is doing ok now and I hope he will continue so.

I'm glad you can see your strengths as you mature, and that you have made many good friends. You seem like a really good person and I look forward to chatting again and knowing you better myself.

Take good care, Scott
 
Jon, hang in there, at least you're in a country that isn't hell-bent on passing laws (much less constitutional amendments!) against you. And if anyone gives you hell for being gay & geeky, remind them of Alan Turing, who basically invented the programmable digital computer in WW2 (it was used for breaking Axis codes). Unfortunately the bigotry of the WW2 era ended up driving Turing to suicide, but the key point here is that he was a gay guy and a geek too, and he helped win the war and change the world. And also, now we know enough to not let the prejudice wear us down into despair, but instead stand up for who we are, and fight back against bigotry, and live and thrive.

Re. relaxing by doing the laundry: There are a bunch of things going on there.

One is that low-pitched sounds at low to moderate volume levels, tend to mask other sounds in a manner similar to "white noise." By reducing the dynamic range of what your ears are picking up, these sounds "soften the contrast" in the acoustical environment. Softer contrast levels (whether visual or auditory) are for most people inherently relaxing.

Another is that sounds with slow rhythms tend to resemble various rhythms in your body. You hear the external rhythm, and your internal rhythms start to slow down to match. If you're stressed or wound-up, this is inherently calming. Washers and to a certain extent dryers and dishwashers, tend to have sound rhythms that are in the range that works for this. There is a bunch of interesting science about how this works, and quite a bit of research on the use of sound patterns to deliberately induce desired changes in brainwave patterns.

More later, I gotta' scoot for the day here. In any case, hang in there, Jon, you found a community of kindred spirits, and that counts for a lot.
 
Thanks again to the very kind words and encouragement from you all. It's nice that I could get my feelings out in the open like that, I was sitting up lastnight thinking of some way to get my feelings out and I do feel a lot better for it. It's easy to see why appliances and the Discuss-O-Mat can help blow your problems away..

Pat - I agree with you in the way that people are made welcome on this forum. In other forums I've seen people arguing and falling out with each other and some cruel vindictive people; however on here everyone is kind and wants to help, give encouragement, give congratulations, and are just generally nice people. Since my dad has been ill, I have actually come to realise the true value of money since our income has dramatically reduced since he doesn't work anymore. In that sense I think this was a blessing in disguise, because before my dad was ill we also hardly saw much of my dad, he left the house at 5.30am and came back at 10pm, so in that respect I see my dad more. We also found out who was true in the sense of family spirit - a few relatives felt awkward and didn't know what to do, so moved away (!!!), however grandparents, family friends, were there to support us, and my auntie and uncle up in Scotland even drove 300 miles down to us to help look after us kids for a few weeks, and relieve the stress off my nana who was having to parent us 3 children, as we were then.

Venus -

My mum says exactly the same thing!! She is great in the way that she expects me to grow up and be who I am, not who Mr Perfect down the road is with a big house, expensive car, and top grades. I'm not the most attractive person, I don't have girls chasing after me (although in my opinion that's a good thing lol), I don't have grade A's throughout my exam results, I don't follow the latest fashions. I'm just me and that's who I am and always will be. Unfortunately my mum still has to find out my sexuality (although I'm sure by now she's guessed that I'm gay, lol - I can be quite camp at times) but I'm sure she'll accept me for who I am whoever and whatever I am. She's very accepting of my fascination with washers (she always has been), although when we shared the Bosch and the previous Hotpoint downstairs between us before I got my AEG I always got moaned at for hogging the washing machine!

Scott,

Thanks for the compliment :-). I'm saving up to go to the US in a couple years time (was hoping to be able to afford to go to this year's convention, but unfortunately I'm too young to go on my own, and also I'm currently saving up for a new laptop which I need for my college work) so maybe we'll cross paths then. I've always wanted to go the US, it has always fascinated me. And, of course, I wanna visit one of those HUGE supermarket-sized laundromats you guys have there - better than the measly 8 or so washers we get here in England.

Steve,

I've always been a very shy person, however I seemed to be losing that as I mature and especially since I started college I've made loads of new friends. I had my 17th birthday party on Saturday night and my mum was surprised at how sociable I had become. However I still get odd times though where I just don't seem to fit in to people's conversations.

Designgeek,

I've always thought that laundry was relaxing, and often wondered if it was to do with the pitches or wavelength of the noise. In fact, it relaxed me so much when I was little that I used to fall asleep watching the washing machine. Thanks for your encouragement as well... as I've said to other people who've replied it really does help knowing that I'm not the only one with problems. I've started using the motto "Live life to the full" recently and it really does help living by that...

Happy washing guys, and again, a big thank you and big hugs to you all {{{{{{Discuss-O-Mat}}}}}}

Jon (who's currently sat in front of his AEG with his laptop watching the 1600rpm final spin slow down... with 2 minutes to end :-D)

And here's a picture of that very load I just watched:
 
Jon,

I can completely relate to your plight. I too had a sick father when growing up. When I was about 6 my father had his first heart attack. Because I was so young I really did not understand what was happening. I just knew that mom was very upset and cried alot when she came home from the hospital. Dad did get better and came home 2 weeks later. But because he could not return to work immeadiatley there was tension in the house. That and he could not smoke anymore. Talk about walking around on eggshells. But he returned to both working and smoking and things were good for about another 9 years. Dad went into the hospital again, this time for blood clots. This put him out of work permanently. About 2 years later he suffered another heart attack. Talk about being scared S***less. This was my first "real" experience of what happens when someone suffers from a heart attack. It was very sobering and yet surreal at the time. Of course this did happen at 4 am. One minute I am asleep in a warm bed 3 days before Christmas and within 30 mins I am standing outside of the emergancy room.

Things did not get better after that I am afraid. Within another 3 years dad suffered two more heart attacks, the worst coming in 1997 when the Doctors told mom to start calling the family and a minister, because the did not expect him to make it thru the weekend. He did pull thru which was a miracle in itself. This though did take a serious toll on my mother and I. In October 1999 we moved into a brand new house that I helped my parents purchase. My dad passed away on 12/16/99 just 2 1/2 months after moving in. My mother and I had just finished decorating for Christmas the night before. So needless to say that the first family gathering at the new house was not a Christmas party but rather a wake. About spring of 1998 I came out to my mom an a month later to my father and brother. Neither took it very well. Mom was a champ though, though at first she was very confused. "But how do you know?" "Maybe you should give women a try" were some of the replies I got from them. Finally Mom and Dad sent me to the family doctor. He said I was fine and that THEY had to adjust. So much for that miracle pill they were hoping for. LOL. Geez, I did not mean to ramble on here either. Sorry. Though I don't post much , I am on this site all the time and love reading everyones posts. There is a great sense of community here and that is very comforting. Have a great day guys.

Christopher
 
Jon, I was scared of coming out to my folks also. I never told my dad. He died in spring 2001 from a heart condition; also he had diabetes. Last year my brother & I figured out a way to deal with me coming out to my mom (more about which next time I post). It worked like a dream, everything's cool now. I never liked living a lie, it's much better to have the truth on the table. Now maybe some day I'll find Mr. Wonderful and we'll live happily ever after...!:-).
 
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