How appliances keep my life going - hopefully a heartwarming story

Automatic Washer - The world's coolest Washing Machines, Dryers and Dishwashers

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Hey guys. I have only posted to this site once or twice for advice. However, Jon's story got me to thinking. Personally, I skipped the whole child hood that one should have. I grew up with an alcholic and abusive father. My mom worked 2 jobs. At the age of 6 I was doing all of the laundry (in a 1975 green Whirlpool). By the time I was 8 I could basically run the house. At 14, mom left dad, taking my sister and myself with her. Switching high schools, getting a job, and keeping house were like an everyday routine for me. I slowly managed to save money to attend college. However, my sister took a turn down the wrong road (drugs, tatoos, abusive boyfriend). My sister and I are only 10 and a half months apart. We are extremely close. At the age of 19, she found herself pregnant. So, being the big brother.....I rented a large townhouse and helped her raise her child for the next 2 years.....putting college on hold.
At the age of 21, I realized that I was gay. It took only a short time to come to terms with it. However, I was scared to death to come out to my family and co-workers. But to this day....NO ONE has ever turned their back on my because of my homosexuality. I have had one serious relationship in the 4 years I have been out. In a matter of 8 months, he got me into some serious debt, but I was head over heels for the asshole. Later on came the occasional abuse. Then he dumped me....and it was total devastation. But I pressed on......keeping my feelings inside and only letting them out when i was in a locked room. So now, I have not even had a boyfriend in 2 years....and in the past year.....I lost my 2 cars...my house...my job of 10 years...and my man...and have no college education. Two things have kept me sane...my friends and family support....and my dirty clothes. I have been obsessed with washers since I was about 2. Laundry is my way to relax. I currently live with family who have 2 very small children that I am helping to take care of. So...ya'll know kids make lots of dirty clothes! Bottom line...I have learned the hard way that not to give a frog's fat ass about what people think. I am who I am. Life is not easy......it is what you make of it. I am currently enrolling into internet college classes...working 6 days and week, and playing "nanny/housekeeper". The only thing missing is my life partner. Where the hell is he??? But you know what they say...."patience is a virtue" and "Forgive and Forget....Re-live and Regret". I absolutely love this site, getting to read about people's washers and seeing pics of them is great. It's totally fascinating. Anyway, thanks for listening ya'll. Oh and if you cant tell by the "ya'll" slang... I am just a lil country boy...ha ha. Thanks to the rest of you who share as well. Joel
 
Family Values

The next time I hear some right wing lunatic spouting off about family values... Well, I'm gonna think of Joel and how he took care of his sister and her baby. I think that is admirable!

I recently read an article in Esquire Magazine about normal, healthy folks that have NO interest in sex at all. It really makes you see how silly the whole labeling thing is. Whattheheck difference does it make?

My two cents (and I am getting started early today!)
 
Jon, I enjoyed reading your post and can relate. I agree with Retromom about time changing things. What matters is what comes from the heart. Some people are just plain mean and unfortunately, adults are not exempt. Keep being the good person you are, and the rest will take care of itself. What comes around goes around - and I've seen plenty of proof in my lifetime.

Pete
 
Seems everyone here has a story on how they can somehow relate. Asked me if I did last Thursday & I would have had to tell you no, sure don't.

I've been married almost nine years, have two wonderful kids (Bekah 7, Hayden just turned 1). Wife and *I* were expecting baby #3, turns out she and someone else are expecting baby #1.

Would probably be a WHOLE lot more devistated if:
#1, I did have a new Calypso washing machine to play with
-and-
#2, a friend whom I had once had a very close and intimate relationship with (and thought I had put way way way back in the past) hadn't shown up the minute he (yes, I did type that right) heard of what was going on and is pehaps making me see/wonder if all things don't happen for a reason.

Right now I don't know that we have a machine on the market that can spin as fast as my life.

Great Story Jon, and thanks for letting me share a little.

Dave

PS... We don't have anyone here who specializes in Divorce law do we?
 
Oh boy, DavenP, that really stinks bigtime. Get the divorce, keep custody of your kids, keep the house exclusively in your name, prove the "other guy's" paternity, and get child support payments while you're at it. People who cheat deserve to pay for the consequences of their actions, and do not deserve the benefit of compromises.

Meanwhile, stick with your close friends, but be VERY careful about what your (ex)wife knows about the particular close friend who just showed up again. Some states, usually in the SouthEast, have some pretty warped judges who would look at your close friend as the "cause" of your wife's affair (i.e. "she suspected her husband was gay, decided the marriage was over, and ran off with another guy"...) and then give her custody and have you paying child support. No s***, the bigotry runs that deep. Case examples include abusive parent given custody because other parent was gay, and kids ending up dead as a result.

This may sound crazy, but do some relevant web searches on nasty divorce cases where one of the partners was clearly in the wrong but was able to scare up something to suggest the other was gay, and then use it in front of a bigoted judge. The terms "witch hunt" and "inquisition" are not too extreme for the times we live in.

Re. making sure she doesn't find out anything about your close friend: That also means, NO "revealing" email or telephone conversations with him, and no intimate moments with him at your house that she could misconstrue or have a lawyer interpret (or replay the tapes to the judge) in a manner hostile to your interests. She could be watching/listening in any of hundreds of ways, there is no way to tell. Modern concealed cameras are the size of a postage stamp and can see you through a hole the size of a pinhead. I'm a professional telecoms geek with over 20 years' experience, including expert witness testimony on this topic, so take this seriously.

Don't get paranoid, just don't have sensitive conversations via phone, email, or in your house, or for that matter in your car. Wait until after terms of divorce have been granted, then change the locks, change the name on the phone account, protect the phone account with a password (your telco service reps can arrange that easily), etc. etc. Protecting your privacy is not much different than the mindset that people in corporations have when handling confidential company information. They don't get paranoid, they just set up some reasonable procedures and follow them. It's all purely routine, no big deal, any more than having a password on your email account or locking your car when you park to go shopping.

---

Another reason doing the wash can be relaxing: It's one of those instances where our earliest memories are usually positive, and that vibe carries over to the present. When you're a little kid and you're hanging out with Mom or Dad and they're doing the wash, or vacuuming the house, or cleaning the garage, or raking leaves, etc. etc., chances are it's a moment when family life is peaceful and routine, things are going the way they're supposed to, there are normal chores to be done. So fast-forward to your current age: when things get stressful, anything that reminds you of calm normal times is relaxing. This is also true for most if not all hobbies.
 
What a great thread!

Hey all! If you've seen some of my postings here, you'll see that I'm a newbie....

I love this site! I like vintage just about anything, especially appliances so definetly had that bug when I saw this site. Jon, Dave, all I can say is WOW!!! You guys have a strength that really comes through in your postings!

I saw this thread a couple of days ago, read it, and it really stuck in my head. I'm one of the "weirdos" in my cirlce that actually likes laundry and housework. (In fact, a load of colors is chugging away as I type.)

I too, am gay, and can relate to the depressing (and sometimes therapy-mandating) experience of coming to grips with it in a not welcoming society.

You've probably seen in self-help books, or observed amongst others that when life deals most folks a heavy tailspin, they start "falling apart." First thing to go is the appearance, disheveled hair...and of course....CLOTHING!

I think that's where we (if I may use the collective, being the new kid on the Discuss-O-Mat block) have a self-protecting edge -- we get knocked about by life, we grab the detergent, a load of clothes, and head to the laundry room... :-)

I noticed some of you spoke about positive childhood memories vis-a-vis the wash. One of the other components I like about washday is the ironing part. Now, I just need to find one of those vintage 2-ton irons that can replace my steam generator! But I digress... Anyhow, in my younger days when everything was confusing and disagreeable it seemed, I'd chat with my best friends Mom. She took in ironing to pick up a few extra dollars -- I should have paid her the going rate for psychotherapy those days. She was very positive and reassuring about life, and I still look back to those days with a good feeling -- all with her steam iron soothingly hissing in the background, the fresh clean laundry nearby.

Ok, I've rambled...but you folks really triggered some good feeling, and I thank you for it! :)

John
 
Welcome John!

Welcome aboard John! Like I tell everyone, this forum is informative, funny, and heartwarming. I always leave with a smile. Look forward to chatting with you :)
 
Wow, I'm glad there are people here I can relate too as well. I've always been a shy/sensitive person and still am, although now that I'm older I'm losing that tendency, although there are still a few situations where I get a little anxious. And yes, sometimes it feels awkward fitting into people's conversations, although now I found a group that shares my interest in vacuums and washers (I have opened up to other things but those were my main childhood interests). Up until I was about 14 I was extremely shy around people my age and really only liked talking to adults and "smart" kids that I could relate to. Being in a small town helped that a lot. And yes, I went through the "geek" phase as well (maybe still going through it), I pretty much wore clothes in "uniform" until 9th grade (went to private school in Houston until 4th when we moved to Bellville which is the main reason for that), and I did get verbally picked on to where it had some effect in 4th--5th grade, and never retaliated, unfortunately. However, I found out that if you "say something back", 99.9% of the time it shuts the person up.

I've never had an interest in playing any kind of sports (although I do enjoy swimming, watch college football sometimes, and go to Astros and Texans games when the subject pops up), and I guess that has something to do with my "lower-level" popularity, to a degree. Nobody's ever really said anything to be about it though, probably a good thing, and most of the guys I hang out with never played sports or only played in Junior High.

I am a "nerd" in the sense that I'm not really a "big guy" and have a strong interest computers, but I do wear a lot of designer stuff which makes me the "preppie" or "fashionable" kind, I guess, and honestly, I tend to talk to girls more often (a good thing I guess because I'm straight). I've only actually told a few people about my washer obsession, mainly because of the initial reaction to it... I saved the 2002 Convention video on a computer at the school, and when I checked the computer again someone had re-named the video "Austin's Crazy Washing Machine Dreams". No one seems to understand why I like washing machines when they see me using the Discuss-O-Mat and watching the videos, etc., but I tell them they're interesting and that I was born with it, and many people just said "That's cool." I was really open with my vacuum cleaner obsession/collection in 7th--8th grade and everyone thought that was neat. Although I will say this: I do tend to try not to be seen at the laundromat when kids I know pull up next door...LOL.

--Austin
 
Welcome aboard, John!

I think you'll find this group to be quite open and honest. I know I've spilled more about myself here than anywhere else!

To get a really good picture of the membership, check out the "Please Vote Today" thread. Geez, I hope it's still there. It takes MANY interesting twists and turns, a lot of them having nothing to do with voting.

Also be sure to check out any threads mentioning members' pics. Lot of good-looking members here! (Myself excluded!)
veg
 
Relate

"Up until I was about 14 I was extremely shy around people my age and really only liked talking to adults and "smart" kids that I could relate to"

Yep, I was like that, too. I was the "Smart Kid", which sort of helped in the "popularity" area.

"I've never had an interest in playing any kind of sports (although I do enjoy swimming, watch college football sometimes, and go to Astros and Texans games when the subject pops up), and I guess that has something to do with my "lower-level" popularity, to a degree."

I can sympathize there, too. It was especially bad for me since I SUCKED at sports, so was always the last one to pbe picked for a team, and then the team that got "stuck" with me would groan.
 
Never fear, Silicon Valley is full of geeks who weren't much on sports and can't do "small talk" but have been building our future for decades.

For me the pattern with sports was, I could never get the hang of "ball in the air" sports, but I was decently good at "ball on the ground" sports (e.g. soccer) and also enjoyed swimming (including some team competitions where I was decent but not great). Many years later I figured out why. Mild dyslexia.

The stereotype of dyslexia is that it affects reading, however that's not always the case (and in elementary school I was reading at graduate-school level). In my case it was trouble with math, and I only figured it out after college when volunteering to make "get out the vote" phone calls. Consistent pattern was digit inversion: 555-2368 would become 555-2638. Once in about every five to ten phone numbers.

I started experimenting with this and discovered it also affected my perception of objects moving toward me through the air (i.e. without a comparative reference to the ground, where normal perspective could operate): in other words, it screwed up my ability to play baseball, football, etc. The visual effect is something like what happens when you stare at one of those optical illusions that can either be a tunnel sticking out of a page, or a tunnel going into a page, and it seems to flip back and forth between the two. But when the object is moving on the ground, normal visual perspective has something to connect with, and there isn't a problem.

The difference between not-knowing about this, and knowing about it, was the ability to deliberately compensate for it: which made the difference between a D- in undergraduate social science statistics, and an A- in graduate social science statistics.

(Interestingly enough, I could barely get algebra in highschool but did OK in geometry; also was smoking marijuana during the year I took geometry. Now the current research shows that marijuana can help minimize the effects of dyslexia, because it reduces the secondary signal-paths of dyslexia sufficiently that they do not interfere with the primary perceptual signal paths. Also seems to help the manic phase of bipolar disorder, as I've seen with a couple of close friends. However, too much pot can make you stupid, so check with your doctor before deciding whether to try this.)

And the point of this story is, don't assume your perceptual systems operate in the same way as everyone else's, and don't assume they're operating normally 100% of the time. There may be glitches in the wiring that only show up occasionally, but often enough to create errors that have secondary effects such as a sense of inability that becomes a source of anxiety. Minor disabilities are not the same thing as inability; you can study what's going on and learn how to compensate, and then start undoing the emotional & personality baggage that might have accumulated along the way.
 
Hey John, welcome to the site!!! You've already been introduced by Venus (retromom) and Veg, but as they've said this is a great community full of friendliness and warmth, and especially on the Super board there's always something to make you laugh :-). So, again, welcome aboard!!

Hey Austin,

I've found the same in the way that as I've got older I've got more confidence and not become as shy. I've also become a lot less sensitive (mainly after everything with my first boyfriend) to the point where most of the time I just couldn't care less what people think of me. But yeah, I used to be shy of even walking into a shop and asking for something, and in the playground at primary school I found the best company I had at times was myself, and if I was hanging around with someone then it would be with girls. I gained a bit more confidence when I moved up to secondary (high) school when I was 11, but was still fairly shy, especially at the concept of making new friends. But now I find myself really open with people - and hell, a couple weeks ago I had 15 people staying over for my 17th, all of which I can call my friends, and hosted and put it all together myself. 2 years ago all I did for my birthday was take a couple friends out bowling.

I have always been "in the closet" about my appliance interest until fairly recently (within the past couple of years). I always used to be very embarassed about it, simply because it was different. A main cause of this I think was because a lot of my family used to like making fun of me by bringing up stories about how I would sit in front of everyone's washer if it was on and so on... but a couple years ago I retaliated and basically told them to shut up, and that they didn't understand - and since then I didn't get any crap from my family. That gave me the confidence to be more open about it with my friends, and now they just come to accept the fact that I like laundry and appliances. In fact, they don't even bat an eyelid to me having a washer and dryer in my bedroom :-).

My interest in sports kinda shows in how much belly I have, LOL. I like cycling (mainly cos I like exploring the local beautiful countryside around where I live), and swimming too, but other than that I'm not interested. Although I'm hoping to join a gym soon, and I've heard that they are quite good fun, so I'm looking forward to that :-).

Just lately as far as fashions go I have smartened up, but this time last year I would chuck on any old thing from the wardrobe, whether they co-ordinated or not. Of course with a little help from some of my girlfriends that soon got sorted out - but the mean thing I found is that because I have "fashion sense" that now people accept me more, which I think is a very stereotypical thing. But hey, as long as I look good ;-).

Hey Designgeek,

I actually think I may be dyslexic in the form of numbers. I am great at reading, great at logical things such as how and why things work; but when it comes to doing maths equations the numbers just seem to "jump" all around the page. I seem to knwo it all in my head, but when it comes to putting it down on the page, I just can't get it out. Hmmm...

Take care all, and big hugs to everyone!

Jon
 
Hey John, welcome to the site!!! You've already been introduced by Venus (retromom) and Veg, but as they've said this is a great community full of friendliness and warmth, and especially on the Super board there's always something to make you laugh :-). So, again, welcome aboard!!

Hey Austin,

I've found the same in the way that as I've got older I've got more confidence and not become as shy. I've also become a lot less sensitive (mainly after everything with my first boyfriend) to the point where most of the time I just couldn't care less what people think of me. But yeah, I used to be shy of even walking into a shop and asking for something, and in the playground at primary school I found the best company I had at times was myself, and if I was hanging around with someone then it would be with girls. I gained a bit more confidence when I moved up to secondary (high) school when I was 11, but was still fairly shy, especially at the concept of making new friends. But now I find myself really open with people - and hell, a couple weeks ago I had 15 people staying over for my 17th, all of which I can call my friends, and hosted and put it all together myself. 2 years ago all I did for my birthday was take a couple friends out bowling.

I have always been "in the closet" about my appliance interest until fairly recently (within the past couple of years). I always used to be very embarassed about it, simply because it was different. A main cause of this I think was because a lot of my family used to like making fun of me by bringing up stories about how I would sit in front of everyone's washer if it was on and so on... but a couple years ago I retaliated and basically told them to shut up, and that they didn't understand - and since then I didn't get any crap from my family. That gave me the confidence to be more open about it with my friends, and now they just come to accept the fact that I like laundry and appliances. In fact, they don't even bat an eyelid to me having a washer and dryer in my bedroom :-).

My interest in sports kinda shows in how much belly I have, LOL. I like cycling (mainly cos I like exploring the local beautiful countryside around where I live), and swimming too, but other than that I'm not interested. Although I'm hoping to join a gym soon, and I've heard that they are quite good fun, so I'm looking forward to that :-).

Just lately as far as fashions go I have smartened up, but this time last year I would chuck on any old thing from the wardrobe, whether they co-ordinated or not. Of course with a little help from some of my girlfriends that soon got sorted out - but the mean thing I found is that because I have "fashion sense" that now people accept me more, which I think is a very stereotypical thing. But hey, as long as I look good ;-).

Hey Designgeek,

I actually think I may be dyslexic in the form of numbers. I am great at reading, great at logical things such as how and why things work; but when it comes to doing maths equations the numbers just seem to "jump" all around the page. I seem to knwo it all in my head, but when it comes to putting it down on the page, I just can't get it out. Hmmm...

Take care all, and big hugs to everyone!

Jon
 
"I like cycling..."

That was something I liked to do too, I rode my "cruiser" bike 2.5 miles to the library and back every weekend (or more often). I guess I just stopped doing that when my bike broke and I got my own vehicle...LOL

Now don't get me wrong, in 3rd grade in the private school, I had many friends, both boys and girls, mainly because I had been there since Kindergarten and knew everybody. I think the move had an effect on my "shyness", although I did make friends pretty quickly (for me, that is) in 4th grade. 7th-8th grade was really fun; High school really branched everyone off into different degrees of popularity starting this year...kind of ridiculous IMHO.

And anybody who makes fun of my interest that knows about it I tell to shut up. Very few people really do, though, chances are, we usually just lightly "rib" each other on our different "weird" hobbies...I'm not the only one that's interested in something strange...
 
Hi all -

Jon,

There's that old saying "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger", and I've always found this to be true when things get tough. When the situation can't get any worse, that means the only way is up. You just have to ride it out for a while, but things always get better in the end.

The past couple of years have been dreadful for me too. After being out of work for almost a year, which meant I had to give up my lovely flat and move back into my parents' spare bedroom, I got myself a dream job only to find out that the boss had taken an instant dislike to me for reasons I'll never know. After ten months of harassment and bullying, I gave them what they wanted... I went on my lunch break one day and didn't bother returning that afternoon. Walking out of that place I was fully aware that I was putting myself in a very bad financial situation, and taking myself back to square one yet again, but even so I knew it was the right thing to do. That job was making me ill, and had I not quit, I know for a fact that I would be in the loony bin by now.

Several months on, I now have a job that I enjoy, working with the most fantastic bunch of people you could ever wish to meet. The money is OK and the hours leave a lot to be desired, but I'm getting myself back on my feet again and restoring my feelings of confidence and self worth. In a few years I'll either emigrate to Australia or stay here and set up my own business, and it's these long term goals that give you a light at the end of the tunnel to aim for.

And yes, it's amazing how therapeutic a good laundry session can be! The rhythmic sounds of the washer and dryer, the smell of freshly washed clothes and the anticipation of trying a new detergent for the first time. Even some of my non appliance-enthusiast friends remark on how satisfying the entire process is, so perhaps it's not surprising that so many of us find laundry to be the ideal pick-me-up after a bad day.

Regarding friendships, I've always been the sort of person who has a few close chums, rather than an army of friends who constantly come and go. Maybe this is because I can be somewhat abrasive at times, not to mention brutally honest. Few people can take to this side of me, but those who can are also aware of my laid-back side, and are the people I refer to as my true friends. Quality rather than quantity is my motto, as with so many things in life.

As for fashion, well I enjoy the feeling of being nicely turned out, but am no slave to current trends. To be honest I don't really give a toot cahoot what's "in" this season, I like what I like and that's that. The clothes I buy are ones I feel comfortable wearing, but if others like them I suppose that's an added bonus. Nobody has anything good to say about my haircut (I shave it all off) but that's their problem, not mine.

When it comes to hobbies I don't even bother telling people about my interest in appliances, they wouldn't understand and I don't think I could be bothered with having to justify it. My other main interest lies with my favourite band, and collecting anything related. Truly an obsession, but I think it's healthy to have at least one thing in life that you're absolutely crazy about LOL.

Well I've probably gone on far too long here, so I'll stop now. Great topic, and I've thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's viewpoints :o).

Cheers,

Kirk
 
Jon, re. dyslexia: A good test is to copy a bunch of telephone numbers out of the "white pages" and then have someone check to see if you're getting digits reversed. At least that's what caught it for me, dialing those wrong numbers and seeing the pattern.

Re. "weird." Hey highschool kids, here's something you can try: "Okay, I know I'm weird. I guess I should try doing something that's more popular. Like maybe drinking or using drugs. I wonder if I can get some older guy to get me a six-pack at the liquor store. Or a bag of dope. What'll it be, pot or pills? Maybe some speed, that'll help get me over the shyness factor too! What's a few lost brain cells anyway, compared to not being weird any more!"

If the above doesn't make your critics sit up and think, you can always try "unplanned pregnancy"! Caution: do not try joking about firearms or acts of criminal violence or terrorism; that kind of stuff can get you a lengthy visit from the police, and they won't be laughing.

Re. relaxing: And also, reinforcement by association. You do something, find it relaxing, and then it becomes associated with relaxation. So the next time, anticipating the sense of relaxation tends to bring it about, so now you have two things going on: the relaxation of the activity itself, and the relaxation by association with previous times. This is a factor in common with most hobbies. And also with most mood-states and their associated stimuli: for example things/people/activities that you find to be friendly, sexy, exciting, inspiring, invigorating, scary, depressing, sleep-inducing, etc. etc. Very often you can induce the mood by just thinking vividly about the activity.

One of the ones that I've noticed in my own life: smoking a pipe. It brings about a sense of relaxed thoughtfulness that has little to do with nicotine consumption (pipe smokers don't inhale, and I never smoked cigarettes) and much to do with the overall ritual and the engagement of the senses of taste, smell, and touch (i.e. senses that are associated with relaxation and not with the kind of analytical and "convergent" thinking that is required in work). (Hypothesis: someone whose work involves analytic use of the senses of taste and smell, for instance in the food or beverage industries, would find relaxation in activities that are primarily visual or auditory. Hmm...)
 
Kenmore: Surgeon General 1964, only report to break out pipe- and cigar- smokers as separate populations from cigarette smokers. Result: Pipe smokers live slightly *longer* than nonsmokers. The added lifespan is statistically insignificant, something like a month or a little more; but at least it proves we're not dropping dead early.

As with alcohol consumption, certain things that are unhealthy in excess may turn out to be good for you in moderation. Stress is a causal factor in most forms of chronic and life-threatening illness today, so anything that reduces stress, if not done in excess, is probably going to reduce overall health risks.

Unfortunately the dominant form of tobacco usage in recent history has also been the most damaging, and the most obnoxious to bystanders. But that shouldn't be cause for a blanket anti-tobacco attitude, any more than the antics of Ronald McDonald should be cause for a blanket anti-meat attitude.
 
anti-tobacco

I'm not really "anti-tobacco" in the usual sense, just pointing out that there's a downside to any use, no free lunch. Actually, I think it's a choice, and that the tobacco companies shouldn't be made to pay for sonething that was a free choice by the user. And thrusting the anti-smoking thing down people's throats just breeds resentment. The practice has gone WAY down since I was a kid, if only on the basis that it's just become "socially unacceptable" It's never going to be totally stamped out, and probably shouldn't be.

and, I actually like the smell of a pipe. The ONLY tobacco smell I can deal with.
 
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