Tom,
When I decided to make fun of an old ad and vent a little about my high power bills, I certainly didn't expect that anyone would get upset or take it personally. I also didn't quite expect to have people insult me.
I'm sure nobody wants me to go into excruciating detail about my house's design and layout, but I'll try to address a few things you mentioned, and then I'll wash my hands of this thread.
I don't honestly know whether my house was built to Gold Medallion standards. I rather doubt it. As I said, many of the problems stem from the original owners' poor decisions.
Yes, I have added insulation to my attic and my water pipes. I vent the dryer indoors in winter to take advantage of the heat and humidity coming out of it.
There are a lot of double-pane windows on the house, but most of them face north. The south windows are mostly single-pane, double-hung units with combination storms. We put 3M plastic over all of them in the winter. And we have insulated curtains and blinds.
Insulation under the first floor? Here again we start running into the bad decisions. The lower level has a concrete floor, poured onto bedrock. It's a big heat-sink. Additionally, the ceilings down there are 7' high. This, in addition to several features of the layout (large central chimney for the fireplaces, the stairway, the upper level overhanging by 2' on two sides, windows and doors that go nearly to the ceiling, a concrete room jutting into the front of the lower level, etc.) makes the installation of ductwork impracticable. Of course ducts could be installed in the attic, but even insulated ducts in a sub-zero space will lose quite a bit of heat, and pumping the heat back down to the floor doesn't work well.
As to not spending money to upgrade, the fact is that I don't have the money to upgrade. You claim that upgrading or converting wouldn't cost as much as I said, but you're quite wrong about that. I've had several heating contractors in to look at the situation over the years, and all of them have come up with estimates of at least $10,000. They were only able to come up with something that cheap by deciding not to install heat in certain areas of the house. This would obviously reduce the energy savings.
There was also a $15,000 estimate for baseboard water heat in all rooms on on both floors, but that didn't include closing up the walls and ceilings after everything was installed. That was also 18 years ago.
I'm able to do a lot of work myself, so I considered in-floor water heat, which would only heat the upper level, but some radiant heat would come out of the ceiling downstairs. The cost of materials for the heating system alone came to just under $10,000. This would require removing all of the ceilings on the lower level, so the repair work would be extensive.
Given prices like those, the savings in energy would take something like 10-20 years to pay off the cost of a new system, much longer in fact since I'd have to take out a loan to pay for it all.
On a limited budget, any upgrade would have to have a fairly short payback period.
Again, I'm well aware that my house isn't average. In many ways that makes me love it more, but in one particular way it causes problems. Obviously I could move someplace cheaper to heat, but complaining a little and laughing about it is a much easier option. Sometimes that doesn't quite work out.
-kevin