Kids say the darndest things

[iheartmaytag]

Do you remember this show?
I remember how my Mother would laugh until I thought she would pass out. Kids do seem to say the wrong thing at just the right time. Or is that the right thing at the wrong time?

I had one recently myself. My mother had an appointment to meet with the community nurse for diabetes education here where I work. Since she is my babysitter, she brought my daughter with her. I am taking my little darling around the office while Mom is in her training. The director of my department is out in the hallway, and she speaks to the wee one and tells her how big she's getting, and how long her hair is etc. to which my little lovely replies "I have to pee."
Yea, if you have to tell that to someone; I think the director is the best place to start.

How about we share. Were there ever times your child, someone you were caring for, or even you did something that was so cute that it just embarassed the adult around? Or if you remember a favorite from Art Linkletter's old show.

Kids, they do say the darndest things.

 

[sdlee]

my lay it on the line niece....

The family is gathered around at a restarauant getting grub on one of many vacations. My niece is old enough to talk but small enough to still sit in a high chair. The place is admittedly cold. The waitress is wiping down a table next to us and sees my wonderful little niece who has goose bumps and is rubbing her arms. She makes comments and finally says to my niece " It IS kinda cold in here this morning isnt it?"

In her biggest big girl talk she tells her point blank, "Yes Im freezing my ass off!"

But the lil tyke isnt done yet. We recover ,the waitress recovers and finally says" well maybe we should turn the heater up."

My niece agrees wholeheartedly "yes, turn the sum-bitch up!"

My mom and my sister make a mad scramble to get this conversation over. My dad is nearly falling out of the seat laughing so hard.(hes the teacher in this after all)
Anyway it was a fine memory and one we still chat about on hoilidays frequently.

 

[sudsman]

I am PROUD to say my parents would have NEVER put up with su

and much less in public. I do understand there are those who think such is amuseing.

 

[toggleswitch2]

There is an expression in "ethnic-speak" (a different language) that goes like this:

ooooh your mother's T**T....(spoken aloud) and in silence to onself (....that gave birth to you!).

Anyhow, my aunt used this on me once as a three year old, substituting the body part "ear" (it rhymed) to clean it up a bit.

My response?

"YOUR MAMA'S!"

Needless to say she was floored by my command of the language and the concept. TE HE HE HE .

 

[iheartmaytag]

I do understand there are those who think such is amuseing.

Thank you Judith Martin.
What a buzz kill.

 

[maytagbear]

I happen to agree with Sudsman

There is a difference between children accidentally mangling a sentence, or a concept, and children repeating things they should not have heard in the first place!

The English language has one of the largest, if not the largest word pools, so, for the most part, coarse speech is not necessary.

As I grow older, I am paying more attention to what I say in general conversation.

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[iheartmaytag]

I stand corrected

Sorry, but I don't see where the world will end when a four year old says I have to pee. That is unless it happens to be my director she is talking to.

 

[maytagbear]

What's wrong with-

"I have to go to the bathroom?"

L/Mb

 

[sudsman]

Art Linkletters kids WERE ALWAYS

Polite, neat clean and NEVER FOUL MOUTHED! They were cute unlike so many today,

 

[spiceman1957]

Oh My God,

I thought this man was dead. How old is he? I'm 52 and he been a part of my life (as well as soaps like As the World Turns and Guiding Light) all these years. If I remember well, I believe Art had a daughter who died of a drug overdose back in the 1970s. Still, he loves children and what they say very much!

 

[spiceman1957]

To This Thread,

I remember when my family had a big dinner (believe it was Christmas) many years ago when my nephews were toddlers.
For some reason, it was a very stressful dinner (my stepfather had been raising Hell about something prior to the event). Well, we were all around the table, stone face and trying to eat this meal. My nephew, Jason was trying to get some peas upon his little spoon. After trying forever, he yells out, "I can't get it up". All of a sudden, everyone starts laughing which made the rest of the dinner more pleasant. I still tease Jason (now a handsome, strapping man in his late 30s)if he still has trouble getting it up every time I see him.

 

[zipdang]

During college I had a friend who majored in early childhood education and spent a semester interning at an elementary school. This was in Montana where some kids grow up on ranches, and those who did often had ponies and horses as pets.

There was one particular girl at this school who was horribly snotty to most of the other kids. One day my friend observed a very sweet little girl speaking to her friend on the playground while in close proximity to Miss Snotty. The little girl asked her friend if she’d like to come over after school to see her new pony. Instantly the snotty girl spun around and asked “Did you say that you have a pony?”

“Yes, I do,” replied the little girl, to which Miss Snotty suddenly smiled, batted her eyes, and said “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”


David

 

[ptcruiser51]

You can't win sometimes

I was taking my nephews (6 and 7) home in the car. We went past a porno store on the highway. Big neon sign "Peep Show". Nephew asks what it is. "You know, little chicken peeps, they put on a show, do a little dance". WRONG ANSWER! Next question, "Can we go see it?" Hmmmmm. Fortunately, my sister is rather outspoken about animal abuse, etc. "What does mom say about animals?" Both, in unison: "Animals are for companions, not for entertainment." Whew. Arrive home, first thing out of oldest's mouth: "Uncle wouldn't take us to the peep show because he said you wouldn't like it!"

Nephews a little older, 10/11. I take them for weekend. My favorite Saturday nite show: COPS! My sister's final instruction: "Do NOT let them watch COPS or any of the other crap you watch!" (Man Show, Beavis & Butthead, etc.) Of course, nits (nephews-in-training) beg to watch COPS. We play game of "keep score": point each for perp with no shirt, smoking, can o'beer, TV blaring, dog barking, kids running around in diaper, etc. My final instruction: "Do not tell mom and dad we watched this!" Drop kids off and remind. Next day, phone rings, my sister: "I can't help noticing the kids keep singing 'Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do...' Maybe you want to field that one for me?" BUSTED!

 

[panthera]

my absolute favorite story

Is of my neighbors and very good friends' little boy.
Sad circumstances (mom in hospital for nearly one year) after his birth led to his spending far more time with me than most newborns and babies do.
We bonded well.
Because his folks needed help, mom's mom moved in. Unlike my friends, she is one of those relics left over from 1968. Vegetarian, anti-American, anti-disciplinarian, determined to raise David as a human being, not as a boy.

So, lots of tofu and dolls.

David, even at the age of two was so clearly hetero, it was hopeless. The more Oma tried, the more he rebelled. By his third birthday, he had a stash of soldiers, toy guns and toys from McDonald's stashed at my place.

One day, I picked him up to run to the health food store. Now, this store lies directly on the route to McDonald's. I used to take him to McDonalds for a Happy Meal, then on to the health food's store (sandals with white socks, super ökö-phreaks, oily pony-tails and half bald foreheads, you know the kind) but they didn't like us smelling like 'dead meat', so I switched our paths around - we went to the health nuts first and then to McDonald's on the way back. With a quick stop at my place to brush teeth and change clothes (one of the ways I helped his mom was doing the laundry).

All was fine until once when I was in the 'States. Oma takes David by the hand to walk to the health food store, they needed tofu or something equally tasteless and healthy. Barely have they stepped out of the store when David firmly tells Oma she is going the wrong way - the way home lies down that street, no this way!
That street having precisely one single commercial property...McDonald's.

Whee, did I get an earful when I got back to Germany

Oh, just for the record, I'm a vegetarian and have been for over 20 years. So no comments on how I don't understand the value of health food stores, tofu, etc.

 

[sudsman]

NOW all these

are cute and not foul mouthed!

 

[iheartmaytag]

Just look at that sweet little face

and tell me "I have to Pee" isn't adorable

 

[sudsman]

I have to Pee

ins't adorable! Do you need it in spanish too?

 

[moonvalleycacti]

Lots of Kids say I have to Pee in Public Places...
Go stand in your local wal-mart for a wonderful education on an american citizens..

I love to people watch and observe...

IMHO,
If a kid blurts out a curse word, they should be politly corrected and parents shouldnt encourage it... BUT... IF we as adults curse, then our kids will curse.. By age 10 or 11 i did... Just need to teach them the proper way of cursing.. IE: At the dumb blond in (his/her) Lexus doing 55 on (his/her) cell phone who cuts you off and makes you miss your turn..

Also kids should know not to "GRAB" them selves in public and should be taught where there behind is and know how to keep there pants at that level..

Otherwise, just keep an eye on them and watch them learn and grow into adults..Show them many foods, many worlds and be very open minded..

I will never have kids, but i was raised by two of the most open minded liberal people on this planet.. An atheist and a methodist...

On that note:
As a kid, mom took me shopping with her and she needed some lingere.. She bought several bras and such at a discounter near us.. A few days later i whent back to summer camp and they asked what size shirt our parents wore so we could make them a shirt.. I happily chimed in a 36-D.. Every one laughed and mom was red faced when she learned.. Never agin did she take me bra shopping

 

[sudsman]

Just because a lot of kids say it does that make it Cute?

What if in Church and the Pastor speaks to them and that is said to him. Is is cute then?