Let's offend some Celebrities

[jasonl]

What goes 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?

Karen Carpenter's dress size.

Why does Michael Jackson shop at Wal-Mart?

Boy's pants are half off.

What do you call Dolly Parton doing the backstroke?

Islands in the stream.

 

[brettsomers]

Bette Davis once said, after Joan Crawford had died..

"I'm told you should only say good things about the dead. Joan Crawford is dead. Good."

 

[frigilux]

I wish Ann Coulter would disappear up her own ass.

There, I said it.

 

[brettsomers]

wow, and i was just reading about La Coulter last night. a true Media Whore we have there. the only way she would dissappear up her own ass would be if the (FOX) cameras were rolling and she was fully made-up. if the Bush&Co told her to do it she'd do it gladly. that b!t# is that type that in real life kisses the bosses ass like theres no tomorrow! a common street hooker has more principles than her, probably.

 

[maytagbear]

Richard Simmons

for "Frizz Ease."

Lawrence/Maytagbear

 

[jasonl]

Stevie Wonder

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he!

Why does Stevie Wonder shake his head when he sings?
Because he can't find the microphone.

 

[petek]

Ann Coulter knows what she's doing and what she wants which is stardom and celebrity no matter what the cost nor whether she actually believes what she is saying. Her "views" and the method they are delivered are clearly that, a method to an end, aimed squarely at those Americans possesing one more chromosome on the ladder of intelligence than a guest of Jerry Springer

 

[brettsomers]

Pete

very true. what i dont understand, and what worries me, is that her books make the BEST SELLER LISTS!!! are there THAT MANY misguided people??? she is pure phony!

 

[petek]

Not everyone who buys/reads her book is necessarily going to agree with her and in fact she may turn off previous admirers. Who's to say. People, even intelligent liberal people love scandal, always have, always will, so of course they're going to buy her books to see what was written. The unfortunate point being they are putting more dollars in her purse unless they get it from the library.

 

[jasonl]

This was a joke thread

Why did Ann Coulter cross the road?

Your guess is good as mine.

 

[toggleswitch]

Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey got stopped at the airport?
Oh yes, they lifted her skirt and found 10 kilos of crack.

(cocaine/rock, etc.)

P.S. someoune please e-mail mwewith the deal on Ann Coulter. who the F is she?

 

[mayken4now]

When Liz Taylor passes a McDonald's what happens?

The sign changes in billions!

Wehn she peirced her ears, gravey ran out.

(Old Joan made me do it)

 

[gansky1]

Ann Coulter is an ENTERTAINER, just like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Rielly (Factor FICTION!), Glenn Beck, Neal Bortz, etc. If they are spouting the nonsense people want to hear, they get air time - which is the really scary part. Most of them have absolutely no qualifications, training or held to to any standards of real journalists and therefore are not held to any standards of truth or integrity. They can say whatever they want, and they do. For example, Rush spent the better part of his career demanding that anyone involved with the dealing, transportation and even the USE of drugs be put away for life in prison with no possibility of parole. Did you notice he was smiling in his recent mug shot for the prescription drug fraud charges?? Hypocrites, one and all. Take them for what they're worth.

Back to dear, ugly Ann, Bill Maher (liberal talk show host on HBO and another entertainer) said after their brief affair; she's not nearly as hostile and difficult to deal with when she's about to come.

 

[toggleswitch]

O M G

 

[Maytagmom]

Joke

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
I don't know what to do here, says the Devil. You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You defineatly have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I am going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.
Bush thought it sounded pretty good so the Devil opened the 1st room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
No, said George, I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long.
The Devil opened up the 2nd room. There was Ronald Reagan with a sledgehammer and room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer time after time after time.
No, I've got this problem with my shoulder, Bush says. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day long.
So the Devil opens the 3rd door. In there, Bush sees Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in with disbelief and finally said, Yeah, I can handle this!
The Devil smiled and said, Ok...Monica, you're free to go.

 

[frontaloadotmy]

Great mmom

I got that in an email recently and didn't have the moxy
to share it. It's hilarious!!!

 

[jasonl]

I heard that joke before only it was Rev Jesse Jackson instead of Bush.

 

[peterh770]

Politics is politics. There will be some that appeal to the left and some that appeal to the right. Most people here are liberal and a few of us are conservative. The reason why there are celebrities is because they found an audience. And there is a celebrity for every audience who is vilified by the other side.

 

[petek]

Many of those jokes just use altered personages to fit the times and events or they're altered slightly. The Bush joke at one time used different celebrities and the ending had a different twist.. being another celebrity sitting at a table eating dinner but the floor was a foot deep in shite. When the "Bush" chose that as the best of a bad fate, he then proclaimed, dinners over, back on your head.