My daughter has made me proud......

[richm]

My friends....

As some of you may know...I came out as a gay man to my wife and children this past month....it has been hell of a roller
coaster ride to say the least...but I know I will make
it and that we will all make it.

My wife Sharon has been as understanding as she can,
but is hurting over the impending collapse of our
marriage. My daughter Katie (24) is my biggest
supporter, and in fact wrote a letter to the
editor(see below) in response to some recent hateful
letters condemning gays and gay marriage, which has
certainly been in the news here (MA) lately. If after
you read her message, please feel free to send a
message of support to her at [email protected]. You can also write to me directly at [email protected].
My son, Richie (19) is struggling more with this new
revelation, but will hopefully work through it. I
know in any case that I need to move on with my life
and be o.k. as the gay man that I am.

Best to all,

RichM in MA

Here is Katie's response published today (7/13/06) in
the Worcester (MA) Telegram:

Dear Editor:

I am writing this response in regards to the articles
written in the July 5th Telegram, speaking of their opposition to gay marriage.

Ms. E spoke of how “it is wrong and totally
against God’s Commandments.” To use her language,
this is completely absurd. As a former student at a
Catholic parochial school for eleven years, as well as
four years at a Catholic college, I have never heard
of a commandment that states ‘Thou shalt not be gay.’
In fact, we were always encouraged to love our
neighbors as ourselves.

Mr. B spoke of Jesus not condoning gay marriage.
I seem to remember from my school days a certain
message of Jesus’ love for all of his brothers and
sisters, including the tax collectors and various
other people seen as “sinners.” No where in His
message is there anything written about the
wrongfulness of being gay, only about love.

Graduating with a degree in biology, I was glad to
learn that 10 percent of humans and animals are
homosexual. Clearly, no one chooses to be gay,
especially with such hate running rampant in this
country. It greatly saddens me that some of my fellow
Massachusetts residents have such misinformed
feelings. And the bottom line is that their feelings
are of hate, ignorance and hypocrisy, clothed in
discrimination, against the rights of everyone in this
country. I hope that the growing generations can
learn to love and accept everyone for who they are,
just as Jesus would have done.

Sincerely,

Katie M. Markiewicz

 

[gregm]

wow

eloquently and very nicely put, hang in there Rich, you should be proud of her and proud of yourself as well.

 

[steved]

.....takes me back.....

Rich, I can understand the ride.... hang in there.... your kids will be fine, trust me.... and your wife is pretty amazing, too..... be strong...... SteveD
PS on Saturday, my husband Mark is walking my former wife down the aisle at my daughters wedding (grin)

 

[gansky1]

You have have a very smart daughter, Rich, but you probably have known that for 24 years already! You can not only be proud of her, but reach around and give yourself a pat on the back for the sensible and responsible job you and your wife have done in raising her to be the person who wrote that letter.

All the best - Greg

 

[jaxsunst]

HEAR HEAR

Your daughter did a great job.

 

[air-waycharlie]

Rich,

I agree with Greg. Your daughter is representative of how you and your wife raised her. And in addition to you being proud of her, I too am proud of her.

In spite of the hardships you are facing and will continue to do so for a while, it must be comforting to know you have such a great young lady, who is quite eloquent, supporting you with unconditional love.

 

[kenmore58]

Rich,

I'm going to make this note short because I hope to see you Saturday at the NE Wash-in where we can talk in depth and, second, because I'm rushing out to work. However, I just want to say that I know you're going through a difficult time right now, but rest assured your friends are here for you. You sound like you have an excellent support system going and things will get better.

Until the wash-in, here's a GREAT BIG HUG from your Rhode Island friend!!!!

Ron

PS: Judging by the excellent job you did raising your children, I'm sure you'll get through this!

 

[sikiguya]

Rich.............

Your daughter sounds like an amazing woman and someone I would love to know in real life. She is exactly how I hope my daughter, and son for that matter, turns out.

Although what you are going through is hard, it will all work out in the end. It sounds like you have great support from your family, which is a great starting point. My step Grandfather left my Grandmother in the mid 60's and ran off with a man, leaving her iwth 5 kids to raise on her own. While the way that he left her was not right, in the end, everyone in the family finally came around to acceptance. We all, as a family, would go and visit my step Grandfather and his partner in California during the summers. Unfortunately, they are no longer with us physically but are still in our hearts. It was great having all of us together and once you put all the bad things behind you, it will only get better.

I know that I do not really have a way with words (unlike your daughter) but just know that I am praying that everything works out the way that you want it to.

Heather

 

[rickr]

Wonderful Rich! You have every right to be proud of Katie. May God bless your family, and you will get through this.

 

[MikeS]

Good Luck, Rich

Rich, I wish you all the best as you begin your new journey.
You'll have both good days and bad days as an openly gay man, but after 30 years plus, I can tell you the positives outweigh the minuses.
I've never had children, but you should be proud of your daughter for supporting you and standing up for her convictions. And I'm sure your son will come around. Time is a wonderful salve that can help heal any wound.
Hugs and kisses from Las Vegas.

 

[parunner58]

Rich,

Katie's message was wonderful. It was perfectly written and she was able to backup her thoughts so well. I was a product of Catholic school and I often wondered where the love your neighbor went. I was bullied by the popular group while at the High school.

I wish you all well and I know things will work out. It will just take time.

Mike

 

[vinvac]

a tear in my eye

Rich,

You must be so proud of your daughter! Most of the people in the VCCC probalby don't realize that I too was married for over eight years. My divorce was not due to the fact that I was gay because at that time I had not admitted it to myself.

I admire you for making that step in your life. You will find it gets easier and easier as you start accepting yourself for who you are and not what everyone wants you to be.

Your daughter is very insitefull and has an excellent handle on what Christ taught us. For this alone you should be proud.
If we could all just understand the word LOVE we would understand what Chirst's life was all about. She has it...

 

[andrewinorlando]

Rich -

You'll have all your friends here at AW.org to help you through this journey of acceptance and peace in your life as a gay man. All in all, it can be a tough journey, but one that is so worthwhile in the end. I know I wouldn't have it any other way! As a gay man, life has been very, very good to me and I hope that you will find that same peace in your own life. You're off to a great start - your daughter is an absolute gem. I'm so proud of her, and I don't even know you guys!! Your son will get there, too, it's just a matter of time.

Andrew

 

[leatherrider]

I know the feeling

Hi Rich,
This is Eric, Ron's (Kenmore58) other half. First of all, you should be very proud of your daughter for being so thoughtful.
Second, since I was married for 17 years and came out to my wife and everone else at 45, I know exactly what you're going through. This will probably be the most difficult and scariest thing you will ever do. My wife was understanding, but it still hurt both of us very deeply. As time goes by, the hurt gets better and you will realize you've done the best thing to be true to yourself.
I know you have a wonderful support group here from all the notes sent to Ron when he and I were having difficulties. I hope to see you at the Saturday wash-in to give you my personal support.
My best to you in your "new life",
Eric

 

[angus]

What a great kid - remember that some of her understanding and compassion are a direct result of how she was raised. A tribute to you and your wife.......

 

[frigilux]

You're so right, Eric; We are supportive and somewhat protective of the members of our little family at AW.ORG.

I suppose this would be a good time for me to take back my posted suggestion to Ron that he accidentally spill bleach all over your favorite clothes!

Glad you two are giving it a second chance and hope things work out well for you.

 

[Brneyedgrl80]

What a wonderful read...

I'm very happy to hear that you have such a wonderful supportive system.

I'm sure it will be difficult for everyone, but in time things will work out as they should.

 

[jamiel]

I came out about a year ago, if you've got the oppty, head up to Montreal in 2 weeks for the Out Games. It's an incredible vaccination of acceptance and validation for what's going on with you. I posted on the Gay Games thread, but there's incredible value in seeing another side of the normality of gay life.

 

[mixfinder]

Free At Last

Dear Rich,

After 28 years of marriage and 4 kids, I came out. My wife always knew, but was sure guilt could keep me there. She became the Directer and I the poor endentured Actor. I began therapy when I quit drinking and learned to disable the guilt button. No matter how many times she mashed it, I did not respond. I have been in my own place for almost 2 years. It never occured to me, to think my children would have any issue with me being gay. They have been the same they always were, which is wonderful. Collectively, they built a network of support for their mom in the first months. My wife is a very difficult person in relationship because of the convoluted way she manilpulates her family. My shock and amazement was the love, acceptance and support, I received from my parents. I am still wondering who the aliens are that have inhabited my parents bodies. There is no price too great to pay for honest freedom. Having that filthy, dirty secret of being gay, off my back (no pun intended, but please inseert laugh here)is the best feeling and has lifted years off a tired and lifeless body. Children are incredible. It was worth everything I ever did, to have them and raise them with love, acceptance and relentless support. I am so happy for you, Rich, because I know just what this while process feels like. I am thrilled at the relationship you have built and now enjoy the fruits (Absolutely No Pun) of with your daughter. There are some amazing books and resources for coming out to your children and how to support them.
All my best. You have to be a great person also, to parent such a great daughter.
Kelly