Shane,
I suppose it is a characteristic of all oppressed groups (Jews, blacks, women, here in Germany, Turks) that there is a tremendous degree of peer presure to conform to certain role models.
My generation (I'm 10 years older than you) had the first taste of real freedom, thanks to those brave souls who fought and bled and died before us...Christopher Street was once a real place where real homosexuals fought and bled and not just a hysterical day to run around pretending to be every mother's worst fear.
At the same time as the genuine progress of the sexual revolution, women's rights and some basic advances in human rights for minorities a very large number of people were so threatened (my interpretation) by other people doing what they wanted to do that they truly felt they had an obligation to 'free' such poor souls (like me) of our illusions of love and devotion by denying us the right to marry. And I am talking about homosexuals here!
I won't go into the socio-psychological background of this, but it seems there are only two personality types in this world. Those who believe in 'live and let live' and those who need to tell you how to live the 'right' way.
A man named Andrew Sullivan (I can hear the groans already and yes, he and I are not ideologically close on 99,99% of the issues so let's not and say we didn't) has documented and written on just this topic over the last several years. Some of his books defending gay marriage rights are well worth reading. As a conservative Irish Catholic, he brings a Jesuit (speling?, sorry) mindset to his arguments which appeals to my logic.
If it were up to me, we would enjoy equal status to heterosexual marriage including the right to adopt and raise children. Should cloning or masculine child-bearing become possible (or XX paired reproduction for women) then I am all in favor of those rights, too.
Let's throw your question open to everyone. Since I left the US back in 1983 to live in a country where gays have human rights, there is a lot of US gay history I missed out on. What is your feeling on things?
www.andrewsullivan.com