My Deepest Sympathies
Chris,
I am so sorry about your baby Holly. :-(
No-one ever really leaves us when they pass away – we just can’t physically touch them any more. That’s it. However, with our memories, thoughts and reminders, and that fact that we carry on with our lives with the spirits of our lost friends, means that we shouldn’t feel too sad for long. In any case, our pets are never really gone – they are somewhere else that’s even nicer.
We’ll always be sad of course to some extent, and the sadness never actually ends, but we may not feel so wrought with grief that we find it almost impossible to get on with our daily lives. When my dog Max died a week ago today, I felt terribly guilty, and still do, that I would have to move on, as it were – I didn’t want to, and I still don’t want to. We don’t have to – we’re not moving on as such, but the pain will ease, and our lovely memories will flourish and keep us going. I know we just want to cuddle them again and give them treats and lots of love, but at least we all gave them good lives – we looked after someone, an animal, which is not a human but would make an almost perfect person if they were. Anyway, in our eyes, they were practically perfect.
The love a dog, or indeed any pet, gives is given freely – there is no “I want something in return”, as with humans at times. And what of the phrase often attributed to ‘bad’ people, “They behaved like an animal”? What an insult to animals!
For a supposedly superior species, we certainly fail at times!
I realised this all the time, even back when I was 14, that I did everything over the past 14 or so years with the backdrop of Max. Even if he wasn’t with me at the time, I’d always come home to him. If we went out for a walk, that was even better.
I am guessing that’s the same for you, Chris, and indeed everyone else with their beloved pets.
Cherish it all – it’s all your memories for you to keep in the future. Yours and your late pet’s future are the memories – their gift to you.
All of the things said by other members here are wonderful and have been of great comfort to me, too.
If there’s one last thing I could say about our pets, it’s this: remember all the good times, reflect and learn from the possibly bad times and realise, in time, that all of our memories, whoever they are with – humans or animals – will last forever.
When we’re all gone and other people take our place in the unpredictable future, it can be said that we loved our pets, friends and family for the moment – with “family” meaning pets as well!
– and that we all had good lives in the spirit of love, friendship, companionship and compassion.
And when all else fails and you can’t find a way through, just cry.
Take care.
Regards,
Carl
x
