Parents Say The Darnest Things

[spiceman1957]

My stepdad will say,

"I going to strop a mudhole in you today and come back tomorrow and strop it dry" What a thing to say child!

 

[retro-man]

And the normal seasonal replies

In the winter it was always "close the door I'm not trying to heat the neighbor hood, and in the summer it was shut the door I am not trying to cool the neighborhood. Another one of my fathers favorites, If brains were dynamite you wouldn't know how to blow your nose. Oh yes those moral boosting sayings of fathers. Funny though my mother would upon a rare occassion say wait till your father gets home. Well when my father got home she would tell him what had happened and he normally would crack up laughing which really pissed off my mother. So he would have to straighten him self up and come in my room and just say don't do it again and don't let your mother catch you. He was quite a handful growing up as I learned from his mother and his sister.
Jon

 

[panthera]

I guess grandparents are parents, too...

My folks were both only kids. They really didn't have a clue how manipulative younger siblings can be and frequently fell for my younger brother's stories.

Their parents, all four, were born into families with lots of kids and three of the four had been the youngest. They were not exactly clueless...

So one day my brother and I were dropped off for a week at my dad's folks. I did something which was not considered a big deal to my European relatives (took a piss in the compost patch with the gardener) and my brother, assuming I'd be judged by American standards, ran to tattle on me.

O, dear. My grampa was just shocked. Shocked, I tell, you - shocked. He agreed with my brother that the matter was grave indeed and a suitable punishment must be found. Hmm, no gelato for a snack? Would that be adequate? Hmm, my brother obviously considered this weak justice, indeed, for the seriousness of my crime.

Well, grampa went on, perhaps no TV the whole week? Ah, my brother opined, far better, but no ice-cream, too.

But of course grampa answered...and promptly pronounced the punishment on my brother for being a tattle-tale.

Tee-hee.

Nothing in my life tasted as good as all those gelati that hot week in the middle of summer. I'm not a big TV fan, but I watched more that week than ever before or since.

Of course, when our folks picked us up, I got in big trouble on the way home cause my brother couldn't wait to tell all.
Leaving out our grandparent's sense of justice of course.
From that day on, we had two sets of rules in the family. I loved visiting the relations, my brother somewhat less.

 

[washabear]

My favorite, from my mother, was "Be true to your gender."

Yes, she actually said that.

 

[toggleswitch2]

Living WELL is the BEST revenge...............

My mother had "the talk' with me when I was 16 y.o. She forced me to out myself with some VERY direct questions.
Within minutes, denial became shock, became anger (on her part)....
"Why don't you just throw the REST of your life away. Why bother going to school (college)? Go become a hairdresser like the rest of THEM!"
I left home at 19 y.o. and have been independent ever since.

 

[panthera]

ah,

But can you do a proper perm?
Frost the ends, touch up the roots and ratt the whole shebang up like Jackie-O?

Well? Can you? HAH!

At the very least, you could have been a florist. But, no...

Should-a raised dogs, should-a raised dogs, as my dad's mom used to say...

(Thank the gods for you, Toggles. Not that many man enough to be tease-a-ble).

 

[toggleswitch2]

Wash, tease and blow? No problem.