Relax, Hydralique. Just take a tip from the model in the pic
If you turn your head away from the camera, they can't see what color your beard is. Simple.
As to eyelashes, I'm sure you could buy some from the same drugstore where she got hers.
I, personally, don't look good in rayon gowns, and I hate wearing my hair 'up' or 'back.' I'm definitely not into piercing, but I suppose some nice, dangly clip-ons would work.
As to Ericofons, I think they're extremely cool, but my dad hates them. He worked in a Ford dealership in the 1970s where Ericofons were used as interdepartmental intercoms. They might be tres chic for lounging and chatting, but when you're busy dealing with hundreds of calls a day, it's a pain in the backside to remember to lay the darn thing on its side when you go to check on something, rather than setting it down on its base. More calls were dropped that way . . .
-kevin
(right now listening to 'Like Wild' by Ray Anthony on the Seeburg Audiomatic Playback unit.)