Rantage: Living with parents

[veg-o-matic]

Geoff:

Brother!

You and I have almost the same story, though I'm not nearly as good a son as you. I regularly threaten Mom with a nursing home when she gets on my nerves (14-90 times a day.)

I do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Mom's just too darn slow!

As for feeling like I'm 10, yep, that happens too. Case in point: couple of months ago she went rummaging around on top of my bureau and came across my copy of "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star." She made some comment, I forget what. My response? Same as when I was 10 (35 years ago): "Don't touch my stuff!"

veg

 

[perc-o-prince]

I too am a full time care-giver for my 90yo grandfather. respite costs are outrageously expensive. I haven't had a real day off in 7 months so I can empathize! I will be getting a week off, in a month, so that my partner and I can go visit his critically ill father!! So much for "time off".

I will try to pick up a copy of No More Words. Sounds like it maybe a worthwhile read!! Thank you for sharing that with us, Lawrence.

Jason, hang in there!!! You WILL look back and wish you could go back home someday.

Rich

 

[geoffdelp]

Well ... it sounds like that it's not easy to take one's parents in to your heart as an adult; it can be painful. Most growth is, I suppose. I know I would not have traded these past years with her; even though there were times that I felt my sacrifice was great and overwhelming.

I try to treat mom with the respect and dignity she (or anyone else for that matter) deserves. She's survived a lot of heartache (as most of us in this world have). She's tough and faith-filled. She's been trying to toughen me up, too!!

I take care of cleaning the downstairs and she takes care of the upstairs. She does my laundry twice a week and I do it on Saturdays. She can't see well, so doesn't clean the kitchen too great ... but what the hey. I can always "extra" wipe and sweep in the corners. It's not the end of the world.

I love it when I get home and mom's baked my favorite cookie or homemade bread; I love it that she still wants to do it for me!! Have to give her a hug and kiss for those!

My brother and his wife live about 45 minutes away and regularly come to visit and we go there, too. Usually Sunday dinners (my absolute favorite).

All in all, I'm most grateful and thankful (and it's usually for the "little" things).

 

[jasonl]

Well, I think I've had enough of living at home already. I did that for the first 30 years of my life, being smothered and controlled out of getting my own place until it finally hit them that I'm no longer 10 years old and I'm grown up (ha!) now. Then at age 30 I finally bought that trailer house. Then I sold it and moved to Massachusetts. Then I moved back to Chalmette and finally after all these years I finally room with my friend Henry, but that only lasted a month. NOW I'm back at home with parents. They are not nearly as controlling as they were 6 years ago but all their little habits still rack my nerves. The laundry, the thermostat, the walking right in, etc.

Speaking of the thermostat. We have a digital one made by Hunter. These are junk because my trailer had one. It's not 1o accurate like a Honeywell, it's more like 2 or 3. So that the temperature fluctuates constantly. So they shut it off causing everyone to freeze.

Even now, just now, my mom barged right in as I was typing this message. I had to stop what I was doing because she wanted me to look something up on the internet.

Oh the bedroom/bathroom thing. It wouldn't phase them at all if I walked in on one of them taking a shower or using the toilet. They're from the country where they had outhouses and a single washtub for 4 kids. So privacy wasn't an option back then. That's fine, but *I* want privacy. I want my own space. I didn't grow up poor in the middle of Cajun country and had to crap in the outhouse and bathe in used water in the washtub outside. And if I demand privacy, then the eyebrows raise, "So what are you doing in there that's so private", relating to the evils of the "M" word. I'll never get it here so I HAVE to get out of here. If there are no houses available here that I can start off with, I'll rent an apartment. But my neighbors might soon get annoyed when I start practicing my accordion (they're not quiet, I assure you).

The ONLY time I've ever heard them knock before entering was when Bri was over for thanksgiving.

So even when I move out, I don't think I'll ever want to go back to living with parents again. When they get old and need help, well that's another story, but by then it will be my turn to be controlling. REVENGE!!!!!! In a good way, of course.

 

[sudsmaster]

I have a Lux 1500 digital thermostat that I really like. I only use it for heating, because this house has no AC (doesn't really need it), but it's the best one I've had so far. I got it at Orchard Supply Hardware, but Lowe's or Home Depot might carry them as well. It can control both AC and heat. It seems to be pretty accurate, and you can even adjust it to be more accurate.

 

[toggleswitch]

I have a Lux too- not awful. And steam heat is very difficult for today's thermosts. It needs a very long *ON* cycle time.

Jsaon- RENT is a four letter word. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive. Better to be poor and have your own tiny place than to stash the cash and deal with the DNA donors.

 

[DADoES]

Parent Living with Child

It's not fun the other way around either. My grandmother had to stay with my parents for about six weeks after her stroke. It was very stressful for all of them.

 

[SactoTeddyBear]

Re: My Thermostat:

Is a White-Rogers Digital Comfort-Set II. It is real easy to program and as far as I know is quite accurate. This one is my 2nd Model, with the 1st one being installed in another house I've since Sold. Both have been installed with a TRANE
Gas-Pack Unit, which is 3.5-Ton Gas Heat/AC 1-piece Unit sitting on the Roof of my house.

{Thank Goodness for Digital Electronic Thermostats}...

I had a Carrier Heat-Pump at my other house and I wouldn't ever have another Heat-Pump again. My TRANE Gas-Pack Units were/are the best Units I've ever had. I also had a Carrier Gas-Pack Unit on a long time ago house that I owned, that was I do have to admit a real good unit, for being around 15-years old, when I bought the house 2nd Hand. That Unit had a basic simple Honeywell Heat/AC Thermostat that for the most part was fairly accurate, considering it was a real old Mercury Capsule Switch Contact-Type Unit, similar to the Mercury Capsule Switches in the Maytag Washer Lid's that had the Float in the center of the Agitators, to Stop the Water and Start the Wash or Rinse Agitation. The Thermostat was a little loose on the Wall, that actually allowed it to be that much more accurate, with the Heat and Air Conditioning, because I just basically tilted the Thermostat respectively towards the Heat or AC Setting area and the Heat/AC worked quite well then. When I tried to keep the Thermostat Level, it wouldn't operate properly.

Good Luck Jason, with whatever you end up doing. It is as everyone has mentioned trying to live at home with the Parent's, quite difficult, especially when everyone can't get along at least most of the time and being considerate to certain ones for privacy and more freedom. I hope that you are able to move out real soon, if that is what it will take to give you your freedom and privacy back to you again.

Peace and Hopefully Good Times, Steve
SactoTeddyBear...

 

[jasonl]

Trane thermostat

My office has a programmable Trane thermostat. It's a breeze to set up, you just push Select and go throught the whole process. And it's 1o accurate. For some reason these Hunter thermostats seem to be really cheap and they're not accurate.

Anyway, we get along most of the time, it's just those little things that are forcing me to move out.

A 2bed/1bath apartment in Lafayette, LA starts around $450-500. Some with washer/dryer hookups (that is a MUST for me. I want private washer viewing time). Yes, that's more expensive than buying a home but if there's no homes (or trailer in a decent place) available, that's what I have to do.

 

[toggleswitch]

The monthly rental pmts are higher than mtge pmts?

*WOW*

An average one-bed (no laundry / no air) here is $1,000.
Two beds $1,300

Includes heat & HW

 

[jasonl]

GEEZ

No wonder people are so pissed off in NYC, the rent is horrible. How do you even manage that? $1000 a month here would get you a luxury condo or a house like my parents own. And of course, there's aircon and heating.

 

[sudsmaster]

In San Francisco, $1000 might get you a one room studio apartment...