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laundromat

laundromat

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Joined
Feb 9, 2010
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Location
Hilo, Hawaii
I have friends in Baltimore,Maryland who were gay lovers for twenty of the thirty years I knew them.We kept in touch regularly either via phone,postal or email.I just recently about three weeks ago sent one of them a new set of racks for their 18inch wide Figidaire dishwasher and was surprised not to get at least an email to let me know they received it.

I called a mutual friend of ours today only to hear about the horrific,deadly automobile accident our friends,Dr.Jon Park and Roy Mock had 6 weeks ago as they were returning home from their breakfast engagement at their local IHOP.

I am in shock,saddened,full of sorrow,depressed and completely dumbfounded.They've known me since I graduated from high school.I was their waiter one evening at the Dispesary.A geek restaurant where I waited tables.after seving them for over 2 hours and keeping their cocktails full and their food fresh and hot,they left me a $50 tip with their names and phone number on the check.i called the next day to thank them for their genorosity and wound up at their gorgious home to spend the weekend.That was 1978.

We stayed friends and they would come pick me up on sundays after church to come help them clean house.I would vacuum,dust,pollish,sweep,mop,scrub,clean the windows,strip all 7 beds and wash the linnens,bath the pugs,clean out the cat litter and water all the indoor plants.During that time,Roy would mow the lawn and weed the garden while Jon went grocery shopping.Once Jon returned,he'd have me help him put away the groceries and admire the clean house he came home to.Dr Jon Park was a professo of dental surgery at Aunivesity of Maryland and Roy Mock was an engineer for The Maryland Mass Transit Authority .They paid me very generosly and would have me stay for cocktails and dinner.Sometimes(if we weren't already smashed)we'd clean up after dinner and go to the tea dance at the Hippo.A gay club in B'more.Or,to a play or concert at the theater.Other times,we'd just enjoy each other's company while Jon played his grand piano.I will truly miss them both and am sorry that I wasn't there not even for their funeral.
 
Re: Chuck:

Hi! Chuck, I'm so sorry to hear about your wonderful Friends Passing, especially from a Deadly Wreck. I've been attending some Bereavement and Grieving Groups/Classes here that have helped me with the many Losses I've been dealing with these past couple/few Years now, of Relatives and Friends. I've also had a real good Friend of many who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on June 1, 2006 and he was only 35-years old.

Take care, know that we are all here for you and you are in my Thoughts and Prayers and you have my Blessings now and always, especially during this difficult times your going through.

Peace, Blessings, Prayers and Hugs, Steve
SactoTeddyBear & SactoTeddyRanger...
 
Hi Chuck.

May their memory be eternal and may they still come visit you with their love, and friendship. If you listen you will hear them.

I suppose many of us are approaching that age where the ones around us are dropping like flies. I'm vowing right now to stay more in touch and display random and deserved/earned acts of kindness.

Sadly, but out of necessity it pays to have a phone/email list for our survivors to call in the case of our passing. This way no one is forgotten and all can attend services for closure.

BE WELL and REMEMBER that they still love you just
as you still love them.

Newton's laws of thermodynamics: Energy (like love and life) can neither be created nor destroyed; it merely changes form.

PEACE and a rapid healing to you.
 
Chuck, I am sorry for your great loss. When we lose loved ones with whom we have shared so many experiences, we lose validation for those parts of our lives. Shared experiences can no longer be shared. This hit me hard when I lost my brother many years ago.

Memories of their kindness to you live on in your heart and the kindness in their souls shines in Heaven.

There are two excellent books by Earl A. Grollman that might be of help to you. They are not long, but will help prepare you for and support you through the things you encounter and feel during the process of greiving. I gave a copy to a friend years ago and it helped him realize that he was not losing his mind and he even showed parts of it to his boss in his defense when they tried to fire him shortly after is partner's death. The titles are:

Living when a loved one has died
What helped me when my loved one died.

The first one is easy to read. The chapters are short and the text on each page brief. The second is a compilation of experiences in survival.

Expect great fatigue. Grief saps energy. Force yourself to stay healthy and rested and maintain good nutrition. Call on friends to be with you and, as much as you are able, gently push yourself to go out to eat and do things with them that you think you will enjoy. Your work will help occupy your mind to give you periods that are not full of pain.

We will remember you in thoughts and prayers for strength to cope with this tragedy. I am sorry for your loss and the loss to the world of two such fine people who meant the world to you.
Tom
 
Tom,

Thank you so much for your information.I'll look them up mand read them.I have been going through a lot here in Houston.First,my hours at work were cut from 40 to 20 a week.Then I find out my favorite cousin,Kathy who lives in Pasadena,Md.has a seious type of breast cancer and is having both removed along with 11 lymph nodes today.I called a friend,David,in Baltimore to see how he was since I hadn't heard from him and he broke the news to me about Jon and Roy.

I also want to thank all othes who have sent their condolences.I am a very emotional,loving person who will do anything for any of my friends and close family members.I have a big heart but when things like this happen,on come the waterworks.The dam breaks and the tears go nonstop.I hate pitty parties.I do though appreciate the understanding and compassion I have received from so many of you.This club is very close knit and nobody here shows and remorse or judgement ever.We all have our own tastes,views,interests and knowledge of so many different products but none of us has ever shown any negativities toward anybody who has their own opinions which may be totaly different than anyone elses here.That,my friends, is true friendship.Being able to accept everybody just the way they are.I'm no angel nor am I perfect in any way,shape or form but I know that here on this site,I can shae my own ideas,opinions,thoughts and desires with no negative feedback.May all of you find all of the treasures you ever wanted and may the dreams you have of the appliances,pets,places and people you love come true!
 
Oh GAWD Chuck:

So sorry for this shocking news you encountered. Take care and may peace be with you in this sad time.

Remember all the good things, like you told us about above.

Steve
 
I forgot to tell you all,
Jon and oy had an avacado set of appliances.

A Maytag A906 washer with all pushbutton control and its matching gas dryer
A 40 inch wide Crown double oven gas range with 6 burners
A KDS17 KitchenAid dishwasher
A Caloric gas incenerator
A Whirlpool 20 cu ft gas refrigeator
A Whirlpool 20 cu ft frost free freezer
A Beam central vacuuming system
A KitchenAid coffee mill
2 Sunbeam egg cookers
2 Sunbeam vacudrip coffee makers
A Carrosel countertop water powered dishwasher
A Shetland floor polisher
A complete set of Farberware cookware
A complete set of Revear copper bottom cookware(which I hated cause Roy would have me polish it every time I came to clean!)
They also had neat bathrooms(5)
The one on the 4th floor had all pink Elger porcelain products.The 3rd floor had a canary yellow Elger set of porcelain.The one on the second floor hallway was American Standard in baby blue.The toilet had their old sunset logo on the rear of the bowl just behind the seat.The one in the master bedroom had American Standard in grey just like the ones in the hallway bathroom but differently colored and aranged.The one on the first floor was white and had all elger products including a urinal!the type that came from the floor up to your abdomin.There was also a half bath under the stairwell on the first floor.
Jon loved Pugs!the first pair he got,Buttons and Bow,were a year old when we met.They lived for 12 years and got put down a month apart.Then,after greeving,Roy got Jon 2 more pugs,Punch and Judy.They were introduced to a stray,one eyed cat we named Player because he would jump up on the Steinway and walk across the keys playing his own tunes then stretch across the keys to take a nap.Just before Jon and Roy seperated,Punch and Judy were put down.Punch had a bad heart and Judy had a stroke.Player lived a few more years then he past on.I miss them too as well as the house.It was so big!
 
So sorry...

I'm so sorry to hear of this. They sounded like a wonderful couple who did not deserve to go so soon. At least they were on their way back from something fun.

Friends come and go, great friends are yours for life,
Dave
 
Chuck, when things like this happen it makes me feel older. I think how as I or my partner leave for just a simple drive to work or the store, it could be the last time we see each other. It's not something you can dwell on but it's hard not to have it cross your mind after having been impacted by it. I've had my share of friends taken away for one reason or another over the years.

While this shock is not something you should be expected to get past quickly, I do hope you manage to come to terms with it and celebrate the relationship you had with these two wonderful guys. You have some rich memories of the times you shared with them and what sounds like a very fabulously outfitted home, and nobody can take that away from you.

Peace and comfort to you, buddy.

Ralph
 
Friends in general are easy to find and hard to keep.
Close friends that are like family are hard to find but are easy to keep.

I feel for you esp. since the way you had to find out was more painfull than most. As long as you keep them in your heart and mind, they'll always be there for you.

Peace,
RCD
 
LOL Toggleswitch! The incinerator was a cylindrical tank that would burn anything(no arrisol cans!)you threw in it.It was in the basement and had a shoot to put the garbage in.It would burn up everything and saved you from worrying to take the trash out.Jon's mother lived there when they bought the house in 1967.He was in colledge and she was widdowed.He said their first automatic she got when they lived in Witchita,KA.was the Bendix that had to be bolted down.probably around 1941.Then in 1956,she got a Westinghouse Laundromat.Jon said she had to replace the boot a lot but that she realy liked it.When they moved to Baltimore,all the appliances were included with the purchase.Their house was one of four in a quadrom of units which all connected in a sourt of diamond shape.The common wall was one shared with the other at the garage each unit had.These homes were built in 1921 and Jon had aquired and framed the artical from the Real Estate section of the Baltimore Sunpapers showing the quadrom of homes with their unit in the front.There were solid oak floors in the living room,dining room,7 bedrooms,stairway,foyet and den.The kitchen and mudroom(where the washer,dryer freezer and pantry were)had the single one piece linolium sheet flooring.the bathrooms had all ceramic tyle from the cealing to the floor with trim that matched the color of the tub,sink and toilet.They paid $43,000 for it in 1968.Roy bough Jon out and in 2007,he sold it for $920,000!
 

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