I knew,
the moment I wrote that, somebody would take it that way
))
Relative to finding somebody who actually cares about you and wants to build a friendship with you, finding somebody who wants to build a friendship with you and ground a family with you (a lifelong partnership, commitment, marriage) then yes, sex is very easy to get.
I'm going to crawl out on a limb here, but what the heck:
Most guys are useless for love relationships (love means: Sticking together with him even when his parents are monsters, your parents are threatening to disown you, your community throws pink paint on your car, your company promotes incompetents over you and the nice Christian couple down the street calls the cops on you every week to report "pedophiles" in their neighborhood.)
This is the same whether we are talking about 18 year olds, 25 year olds, 30 year olds, 40 year olds or 60 year olds.
Most guys are just plain mama's boys who have decided that their real love relationship is to mommy and gay relationships are just passing encounters, bound to end sooner rather than later.
But all men (even straight men) enjoy sex. You can find a guy who wants to have sex with you far more easily than you can find a guy who is willing to actually risk his heart by investing time in building a true friendship with you. Why do you think most of us count women as our closest friends?
I do think there are men out there who are interested in the real thing, I have finally found a wonderful man.
But the ratio is something like four to one (and no, I am not arguing that only those of us who are monogamous count, let's put that one to rest right away.)
I've got no answers except to say that the odds of finding a man who's worth it are much higher at a volunteer's group than they are in some gay bar or queenly group full of spiteful bitches.
Look at the difference between AW.org and some other gay groups on the internet. The focus here is not predominately gay, it is on sharing a common interest and mutual help and support with our vintage loves. How often have people here helped us with Slant-Fronts? How much good advice have I got on dealing with a Tragi-Matic® (and she's PANK!)?
Being in a real relationship means sex. Yup. It does. But it primarily means friendship and support.
Standing by him even when you and the dawg thinks he's one brick shy of a load on this one.
Putting up with Christmas with his red-nex relations even when it means every animal in the house is trying to hide behind him.
Not taking cheap shots when the Cadillac sets her radio and temperature for you, ignores him, and dies on the road dead when he tries to argue with her about the seat height she keeps resetting to your preference...
Gawd, I hope that makes it clear. I'm past 50 and that means two things: One, I grew up pre-aids but post sexual revolution. In my "day" even straight guys were willing to give it a fling, and on my college campus, they did. A lot. And boy, those straight boys did put out. Aids killed all that.
Second, an awful lot of gay men are just as emotionally immature as are straight men: They may be 45, but they want a boy who's 25. You get past 35 and lots of men literally won't give you the time of day. You become invisible.
The solution: Find those men who understand that doing business with an established firm has lots of advantages.
Enough rambling. Stop focusing on sex first, and look for real friends. Invest in friendships. Oh, and if you are in one of those horrid places where everyone over 35 is invisible, ground a gray, gay and great group! The same thing applies to men and to women: they don't yell--they don't tell---they don't swell--and they are grateful as h -e - double hockey sticks.
Well, at least we can skip the pregnant part. But you know what I mean.
