The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time

[may63]

You will have to log into Facebook when you click on the link, but then it should bring you to a page called "The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time" (I hope!)

I think the one with the Lysol has been on AW before...eeewww!

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=94075356597&id=507524527&ref=nf

 

[scott55405]

Somehow I knew it was going to be one of those Lysol ads. (oh my)

The Chase and Sanborn one must be from the I Love Lucy era.

Very fun and interesting..

 

[jeffg]

Any way to access these without setting up a Facebook account? It's a privacy nightmare.

 

[strongenough78]

OMG those are CREEPY! Kind of funny but then not.

 

[thomasortega]

Imagine a bear naked on his bed laughing histerically at 1 am.

If I can copy those ads I'll try to post them here.

 

[thomasortega]

What do murder, pedophilia, suicide and a baby tiger have in common? They have all been used to sell stuff in these amazingly disturbing vintage ads!

These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn't matter if it's lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while peddling everyday products.

Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!

15. White Bread Demon
"Bread is swell, but what I'm really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!"

 

[thomasortega]

14. French Suicide Sausage
It's enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.

 

[thomasortega]

13. A Girl Around The House
It's nice to have a girl around the house... especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!

 

[thomasortega]

12. Chubby
Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.

 

[thomasortega]

11. Christmas Weapons
The family that guns together, has funs together.

 

[thomasortega]

10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger
Sexy?

 

[thomasortega]

9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn't "store test" for fresher coffee?

 

[thomasortega]

8. Fry's Chocolate Nightmare
Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.

 

[thomasortega]

7. Root Beer Baby!
Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.

 

[thomasortega]

I can't stop laughing.... I need to go to the bathroom, BRB.

 

[thomasortega]

6. Locked Out
You better wash out your privates with Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.

 

[thomasortega]

5. Pears Soap Disaster
"Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won't notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!"

 

[thomasortega]

4. Postage Meter Murder
"Is it always illegal to kill a woman?" This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.

 

[thomasortega]

what is a postage meter?

 

[thomasortega]

3. Shave Yourself
The old man baby's gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!

 

[thomasortega]

2. Baby Soft
JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.

 

[thomasortega]

Finally the last one...

1. Chocolate Poulain
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.

 

[scott55405]

Thomas I'm glad you were able to transfer the ads over here. A postage meter is used in businesses (at least here in the states) as a method of applying postage to outgoing mail and packages. You take it to the post office (maybe you can do it online now) and have a set amount of postage placed in it, set the date and you're good to go until your funds need replenishing. Unlike the one in the picture, most today are electric, and have integrated scales that give the amount of postage needed for an item. There's also usually an automated conveyor for processing multiples.

 

[thomasortega]

Scott

Thanks for the information. I think we never used this kind of machine here in Brazil. (or maybe i never knew about it because I grew up used to the telex and then the fax machine at my father's hotel and tour agency.) We almost never used regular mail.

By the way, please check you yahoo messenger.

 

[jeffg]

Thanks for the posts Thomas!

 

[thomasortega]

you're welcome...

 

[earthling177]

Thomas: you've seen the postage meters a lot. Pitney-Bowes sells the same machines to the Brazilian Post Offices. It's just that in Brazil, the post office is too paranoid to let most business use it.

Anyway, it's the little machine that you dial the price for postage (say, "$1.50"), stick the envelope or a piece of self-adhesive tape in and it stamps the price paid and some kind of graphic design, usually in fluorescent red ink.

Here's one site with pictures and history of the devices.

http://www.meterstampsociety.com/terms.html

 

[thomasortega]

Huuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Now i realized what machine is that.

In Brazil it's called "franqueadora" (franchiser in english)

But I've never seen small machines like the creepy ad above.

The machines I know are big and has a compartment that the attendant place the envelopes and the quickly go from one side to the other and fall on a metal rack that looks like a trash bin.

I thought only the post offices could use it, not companies. And the last time I've seen one was more than 30 years ago

Anyway, at least here in Iguasu they are not used anymore because in Brazil we have a wide range of stamps.

Last time I went to the post office was in february with John Buscemi (Jbuscemi) and i didn't see that machine,but I remember clearly two attendants on the back weighting a huge pile of envelopes one by one and patching stamps.

at least now the stamps are self adesive (we don't need to lick them anymore) otherwise they would be without the tongue by the end of the day.

 

[toggleswitch2]

It it always illegal to kill a woman?

Why do I remember some juries in Brazil letting men (husbands?) get away with it in some circumstances?

The pig with the knife is disturbing. (Go see a moyel or a good doctor).

 

[rapunzel]

Postage Meter

In Australia it's called a franking machine.

rapunzel