Thread Title: "I am not Gay" or Just Desserts or Tappy McHappy Pants

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RE: CRAIGING in Europe

I can address this with some experience behind me....Craiging is not exclusively American although it is predominantly American. European airports are somewhat infamous for Craiging although it isn't something you would typically find in European malls, stores, libraries and such. I've spent a good portion of my life living abroad and rarely was Craiging on the local menu. Most countries offer bars, baths, restaurants, parks, beaches, neighborhoods and generally open life to Gay men. The homophobic atmosphere of America is one reason so many Gay men and women travel abroad, to escape the pervasive insanity of homophobia. I came out when I was barely 15 years old and living in Rio de Janeiro. "Coming out" isn't really appropriate as I just sort of morphed into what I was/am. From Rio I moved to Amsterdam [duh] then to Tel Aviv. Tel Aviv was the most wild Gay sub culture I had ever seen and today, Tel Aviv is one of the Gayest places around. I currently split my time between here and Tel Aviv and the only place I sense any repression at all is right here, in the land of the free and the brave.
 
Those open air pissoirs make so much sense. I don't think even Larry Craig would attempt a liaison in one of those. When I was much younger, the bane of my life was finding a public restroom to take a piss when I was on bicycle or bus. Nowadays San Francisco has these ridiculously fancy and expensive street john, which are sort of snail shaped but have locking doors. Naturally, I think some have abused the service but what else is new? And it seems more often than not they are "out of service". Not to mention the BART restrooms, which are also usually out of service. So I'm happy I have a 2 mile commute and a big secluded garden at home ;-)
 
WOW! Now I have seen everything!!

A public toilet website and the history of public toilets, who knew anyone was watching and keeping track till now? I love the internet!
Gene, i am really glad that you decided to be brave and coome out to yourself.i know that is not easy.I for many years thought that I could work it or will it away just like i did with smoking. Believe me, when I want something bad enough, i always go after it. I really wanted to be straight, I finally figured out after three years at BYU and the Evergreen group( to help you over your gay problem group) group at school that i was never going to be straight, and I became ok with that. I came out with one of my roomates, we were both return missionaries, i from Michgan, and my roomate, who i met on gAOL in a chat room, who served a Spanish mission in Texas. It was great to have that support built in at home. Now I would never want to lie to myself again about being gay, my family was great about it, the Mormon church wasn't, although. i would still like to snag a return missionary sometime.You have been with your guy for 33 years, wow! That in and of itself is amazing! What is it like living in Idaho as a gay person? Does everyone think that now that Larry Craig is out in the open that he will do it again? I think that he will, he will just be more careful or maybe pay Jeff Gannon again, ooops did I say that out loud???!!!
 
THAT WOMAN!!!!

Oh my GOD! That woman on the staircase in the gown.....the one time I did drag that is what I looked like! My friends made me promise NEVER to do drag again! Hysterical, love the photo!
 
I can only think that if this guy had stayed home to do his washing in his 1951 unimatic none of this would have happened ...hehehe....
 


America's Toe-Tapping Menace
By Laura M. Mac Donald
The New York Times
September 2, 2007

WHAT is shocking about Senator Larry Craig's bathroom arrest is not what he may have been doing tapping his shoe in that stall, but that Minnesotans are still paying policemen to tap back. For almost 40 years most police departments have been aware of something that still escapes the general public: men who troll for sex in public places, gay or "not gay," are, for the most part, upstanding citizens. Arresting them costs a lot and accomplishes little.

In 1970, Laud Humphreys published the groundbreaking dissertation he wrote as a doctoral candidate at Washington University called "Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places." Because of his unorthodox methods -- he did not get his subjects' consent, he tracked down names and addresses through license plate numbers, he interviewed the men in their homes in disguise and under false pretenses -- "Tearoom Trade" is now taught as a primary example of unethical social research.

That said, what results! In minute, choreographic detail, Mr. Humphreys (who died in 1988) illustrated that various signals -- the foot tapping, the hand waving and the body positioning -- are all parts of a delicate ritual of call and answer, an elaborate series of codes that require the proper response for the initiator to continue. Put simply, a straight man would be left alone after that first tap or cough or look went unanswered.

Why? The initiator does not want to be beaten up or arrested or chased by teenagers, so he engages in safeguards to ensure that any physical advance will be reciprocated. As Mr. Humphreys put it, "because of cautions built into the strategies of these encounters, no man need fear being molested in such facilities."

Mr. Humphreys's aim was not just academic: he was trying to illustrate to the public and the police that straight men would not be harassed in these bathrooms. His findings would seem to suggest the implausibility not only of Senator Craig's denial -- that it was all a misunderstanding -- but also of the policeman's assertion that he was a passive participant. If the code was being followed, it is likely that both men would have to have been acting consciously for the signals to continue.

Mr. Humphreys broke down these transactions into phases, which are remarkably similar to the description of Senator Craig's behavior given by the police. First is the approach: Mr. Craig allegedly peeks into the stall. Then comes positioning: he takes the stall next to the policeman. Signaling: Senator Craig allegedly taps his foot and touches it to the officer's shoe, which was positioned close to the divider, then slides his hand along the bottom of the stall. There are more phases in Mr. Humphreys's full lexicon -- maneuvering, contracting, foreplay and payoff -- but Mr. Craig was arrested after the officer presumed he had "signaled."

Clearly, whatever Mr. Craig's intentions, the police entrapped him. If the police officer hadn't met his stare, answered that tap or done something overt, there would be no news story. On this point, Mr. Humphreys was adamant and explicit: "On the basis of extensive and systematic observation, I doubt the veracity of any person (detective or otherwise) who claims to have been 'molested' in such a setting without first having 'given his consent.'"

As for those who feel that a family man and a conservative senator would be unlikely to engage in such acts, Mr. Humphreys's research says otherwise. As a former Episcopal priest and closeted gay man himself, he was surprised when he interviewed his subjects to learn that most of them were married; their houses were just a little bit nicer than most, their yards better kept. They were well educated, worked longer hours, tended to be active in the church and the community but, unexpectedly, were usually politically and socially conservative, and quite vocal about it.

In other words, not only did these men have nice families, they had nice families who seemed to believe what the fathers loudly preached about the sanctity of marriage. Mr. Humphreys called this paradox "the breastplate of righteousness." The more a man had to lose by having a secret life, the more he acquired the trappings of respectability: "His armor has a particularly shiny quality, a refulgence, which tends to blind the audience to certain of his practices. To others in his everyday world, he is not only normal but righteous -- an exemplar of good behavior and right thinking."

Mr. Humphreys even anticipated the vehement denials of men who are outed: "The secret offender may well believe he is more righteous than the next man, hence his shock and outrage, his disbelieving indignation, when he is discovered and discredited."

This last sentence brings to mind the hollow refutations of figures at the center of many recent public sex scandals, heterosexual and homosexual, notably Representative Mark Foley, the Rev. Ted Haggard, Senator David Vitter and now Senator Craig. The difference is that Larry Craig was arrested.

Public sex is certainly a public nuisance, but criminalizing consensual acts does not help. "The only harmful effects of these encounters, either direct or indirect, result from police activity," Mr. Humphreys wrote. "Blackmail, payoffs, the destruction of reputations and families, all result from police intervention in the tearoom scene." What community can afford to lose good citizens?

And for our part, let's stop being so surprised when we discover that our public figures have their own complex sex lives, and start being more suspicious when they self-righteously denounce the sex lives of others.

Laura M. Mac Donald is the author of "The Curse of the Narrows: The Story of the 1917 Halifax Explosion."
 
"What is it like living in Idaho as a gay person? Does everyone think that now that Larry Craig is out in the open that he will do it again?"

Actually, living in Idaho as a gay person is pretty much the same as living in Utah as one. My partner and I have survived both places, so far, although the Boise metro area is not dominated by Mormons as Utah and Eastern Idaho are. Western Idaho is much more conservative and full of born-again gay-hating psychotic fundamentalist Christians. (scary, huh?) I actually don't think Larry Craig is gay. I think he's a very troubled person for whom I would have more sympathy if he hadn't always been such an arrogant ass.

Both my partner and I fell that having been good Mormons at one time was not a totally bad experience. (Besides, he looked so cute in his underwear. ;o) It's just that the church tells us that Jesus doesn't want us for sunbeams anymore.
 
"It's just that the church tells us that Jesus doesn't want us for sunbeams anymore."

Why would He want people for their mixmasters? And if He did, surely He would know that gay people are much more likely than straight people to have a truly FAB collection of vintage Sunbeams.

;)

Chris.
 
I have read a book about Gay life in Melbourne before the 1980s. Apparently there was a public toilet at the Botanic Gardens which was a bustling beat. The facility was set into the side of a hill, you went down a few stairs from the path into the doorway so it was basically underground.

The council and police eventually had enough of activities at the place and decided it was to be closed. It was left intact but was completely filled with sand and the site was landscaped to leave only a freshly planted lawn.

Over the next week a large number of wreaths were laid at the site in memory of the "facility".

Chris.
 
I know what you mean Gene, although, I think it really has a

I had decided to leave the liberal Bashton know only as Provo, Utah. Actually, even before I came out, I had transfered in my company to Sandy, Utah( 9000 South and 700 East) and honesty,i came out out to everyone that i worked for, and had no real problems to speak of getting along with eveyone.When the truth came out about me, it actually became alot more fun to work there, the black cloud that hung over me had then disapated. Provo, Utah, well that is another story. When I had finally come out, I found that i was really not a different person, i just made better and more honest choices, hence, for me, i decided to move back to Portland, where i am finishing the schooling that i stopped in Provo. Don't all men, including missionaries, look good in their underwear? I know that I always thought of myself as a good Mormon, i just made more honest choices now, maybe one of them to be a good ex-mormon who was still liberal and voted like such.
 
And yes, My Tappy is a Sad person

I feel good being me, and the only thing that I can wish for ex- sen Larry Craig, is that he goes and figures out what his real needs are, and find his happiness, and hopfully, it will not be squeezing the Charman:)--------It is a cross roads, and we have all been there, like in the Movie Get Real, i love it, the main character comes out to his entire community like it or not. I hope that he will, MR Craig, will metiphorically, do the same, what ever that means for him........
 
That pic of the outdoor bathroom got me thinking....when your in that you just have to look over or down the trough to see what everyones got. Its like a smorgasboard of pee pees. It would have saved Larry Craig a world of headaches from the mess he is in. Only I would think of that. You may crucify me now.
 
well never mind thats no fun. But from the looks of the pic you can or so I thought line em up....I stands corrected
 
Has anyone ever seen a British movie titled "Maurice"? It was a film based on a story by E.M. Forster. Turn of the 19th, 20th century schoolboys(college age)have an affair. It is a rather sad film, but beautiful.
 
Oops, novel. A very dear friend of mine was a rabid student of Forster's works. I think I bought the book at Barnes and Noble, but naturally, like 90% of my posessions, can't put my hands on it. I have my friend's college report on Forster, if it hadn't been destroyed by one of the leaks here. It dates to about 1953.
 
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