Launderess:
"The Luce estate is VERY protective of the rights to TW, which is why so few stage productions are done, and very few film remakes have been made as well. IIRC there was one film attempt with Joan Collins that failed badly."
That attempt with Joan Collins was done in 1956, and it was called
The Opposite Sex. It's actually not terrible, it's just that most people have seen the far-superior original movie. Collins is one of the better elements in TOS; her Crystal Allen is properly insolent and hard-boiled. Unfortunately, Crystal's immortal exit line in the first movie ("There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society- outside of a kennel!") is changed, and not for the better.
And
The Opposite Sex has one thing in it that is actually
superior to the original movie- Dolores Gray as Sylvia. Dolores (who looked enough like Lana Turner to get Lana all upset) was one of the great singers of the 1950s, brassy, low and sweet all at the same time. She was also a howlingly funny comedienne. Gray plays the role much closer to Clare Boothe Luce's original stage directions- "glassy, feline, elegant". Again unfortunately, Fay Kanin's script for
The Opposite Sex deviates from Luce's original, and the first movie as well, and makes Sylvia a little silly. Had Dolores been able to play Luce's lines instead of Kanin's, I think we'd have had a performance far exceeding that of Roz Russell in the first film.
The real problem with
The Opposite Sex, however, is the actress chosen to follow in Norma Shearer's footsteps as Mary Haines. Some "mastermind" (thank you, Gloria Swanson) had the bright idea that frog-voiced June Allyson should play Mary,
and play her as a retired singing star into the bargain. Allyson, for my money, was never a major talent (though she did have a very profitable fan following), and it's painful to watch her croak and stomp her way through "Now Baby Now", a musical number built around Allyson's limitations as a performer. A gaggle of notably under-rehearsed chorus boys tries to make Allyson look good with some unsteady lifts, but to little avail.
Worst of all is Allyson's moment when she cries, "I've had two years to grow claws- JUNGLE RED!" We all know how great Norma was with that line, but June just widens her little eyes and waggles her little fingers. Director David Miller holds the shot too long, mercilessly exposing the fact that Allyson can't sustain the moment.
BTW, Clare Boothe Luce herself wasn't quite so protective of
The Women as her estate would become. During WWII, the comedy was allowed to be used- free of charge- as a play that could be performed by the military's entertainment divisions. That's right- Our Boys Over There played Mary, Sylvia, and Crystal in drag.
I have visions of some Bronx hunk in a sequined evening gown jamming a helmet over his wig and manning a machine gun to fight off an unanticipated attack during a performance!
